essay about married life

Marriage Essay for Students and Children

500+ words essay on marriage.

In general, marriage can be described as a bond/commitment between a man and a woman. Also, this bond is strongly connected with love, tolerance, support, and harmony. Also, creating a family means to enter a new stage of social advancement. Marriages help in founding the new relationship between females and males. Also, this is thought to be the highest as well as the most important Institution in our society. The marriage essay is a guide to what constitutes a marriage in India. 

Whenever we think about marriage, the first thing that comes to our mind is the long-lasting relationship. Also, for everyone, marriage is one of the most important decisions in their life. Because you are choosing to live your whole life with that 1 person. Thus, when people decide to get married, they think of having a lovely family, dedicating their life together, and raising their children together. The circle of humankind is like that only. 

Read 500 Words Essay on Dowry System

As it is seen with other experiences as well, the experience of marriage can be successful or unsuccessful. If truth to be held, there is no secret to a successful marriage. It is all about finding the person and enjoying all the differences and imperfections, thereby making your life smooth. So, a good marriage is something that is supposed to be created by two loving people. Thus, it does not happen from time to time. Researchers believe that married people are less depressed and more happy as compared to unmarried people. 

Get the huge list of more than 500 Essay Topics and Ideas

Concepts of Marriage

There is no theoretical concept of marriage. Because for everyone these concepts will keep on changing. But there are some basic concepts which are common in every marriage. These concepts are children, communication , problem-solving , and influences. Here, children may be the most considerable issue. Because many think that having a child is a stressful thing. While others do not believe it. But one thing is sure that having children will change the couple’s life. Now there is someone else besides them whose responsibilities and duties are to be done by the parents. 

Another concept in marriage is problem-solving where it is important to realize that you can live on your own every day. Thus, it is important to find solutions to some misunderstandings together. This is one of the essential parts of a marriage. Communication also plays a huge role in marriage. Thus, the couple should act friends, in fact, be,t friends. There should be no secret between the couple and no one should hide anything. So, both persons should do what they feel comfortable. It is not necessary to think that marriage is difficult and thus it makes you feel busy and unhappy all the time. 

Marriage is like a huge painting where you brush your movements and create your own love story. 

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Essay Samples on Marriage

Should couples live together before marriage.

The choice of whether couples should live together before marriage is a subject that sparks lively discussions about commitment, compatibility, and the dynamics of modern relationships. While some view cohabitation as a practical step toward understanding a partner better, others uphold traditional values and believe...

The Question Of Whether Age Matters In A Relationship

The issue of age factor in a relationship is a serious one. I believe you might have thought about it either once or twice. I can’t date him, I am older than him. He was born a week after I was born and all of...

• Relationship

The Past And The Present Of Arranged Marriage In Ancient Rome

Rome was founded in 753 B.C. by Romulus and Remus, twin sons of Mars, the god of war. Left to drown in a basket on the Tiber by a king of nearby Alba Longa and rescued by a she-wolf, the twins lived to defeat that...

• Ancient Rome
• Arranged Marriage

Forced Marriage: The Issues Of Being In An Arranged Marriage

Imagine waking up to a stranger for the rest of your life. Marriage. Such a small word, yet is “supposed” to be one of the biggest days of ones life. However, imagine marriage being one of the scariest days of ones life. A day that...

• Marriage and Family

The Causes Of Divorce: The Reason Marriage Fails

Divorce among married couples is more popular than ever in today's day and age. Webster's specified divorce is the formal breakup of a relationship. Statistics show that the major causes of divorces are: infidelity, lack of communication, lack of commitment, and financial problems. A lack...

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The Influence Of Family On The Choice Between Family And Career

A lot of different things can impact a person’s life in such a way that becomes a lifelong experience. I believe my family has had a huge impact in my life. Family is the foundation of societal values; ethics and the family members are the...

Woman's Role And Choice Between Marriage Vs. Career

There is a story in the Bible which claims that God created Eve from a rib taken out of Adam’s body. Thus, woman was part of man from the very outset. She was not an independent person, nor did she have an independent personality. She...

Main Reasons For Divorce In The United States And How It Impacts Family

Approximately 50 percent of marriages in the United States end in separation or divorce. As many understand, this disunion brings about change, oftentimes negative. The majority of households witness increased conflicts among family members, distance, and health-related issues. The increase in division among so many...

• Divorce Rate

Common Social Problems Encountered In Family Life And How They Affect The Marriage

In this paper I will be addressing some common social problems a family faces. A social problem is an issue that influences a large number of individuals within a society. The social problems I will be discussing in this paper are divorce, violence, financial problems,...

• Infertility

History of Social Care in the 20th Century Ireland

In this essay I will discuss the marriage bar in Ireland and how it influenced Ireland around the twentieth century and what it meant and how it managed to happen and what knock on affects of it. The Marriage bar is to carry out and...

• Social Care

Comparison of Cohabitation and Marriage: Advantages and Disadvantages

In our modern world, there are so many couples that are adapting to the idea of living together with their partners as an alternative to marriage or just to get a taste of how marriage is. Cohabitation and marriage are quite different in various ways...

• Cohabitation

Theme of Marriage and Symbolism in Short Story Ligeia by Edgar Allen Poe and Novel Young Goodman Brown by Nathaniel Hawthorne

Ligeia, by Edgar Allen Poe, has an interesting start to the story. It is common for most love stories to explain how two people met, or even their past. This backstory usually sets the setting and allows the reader to watch the characters grow and...

• Edgar Allan Poe
• Young Goodman Brown Symbolism

Beatrice's Character Analysis in "Much Ado About Nothing"

Everyone in this world wants to be loved and to feel like they are wanted but unfortunately love also comes with consequences. In Much Ado About Nothing by William Shakespeare, the main characters demonstrate that love leads to hardship. Beatrice and Benedick are perfect evidence...

• Much Ado About Nothing

The View on Love and Marriage in Kate Chopin's A Pair of Silk Stockings and The Storm

Kate Chopin had a very sophisticated and mature view of race, gender, love, and marriage that defies an easy explanation. Those topics often overlap and accompany one another. Write an essay, using only those stories we've read in class (you needn't use all of them)...

• A Pair of Silk Stockings

The Psychological and Political Factors of Infidelity and Adultery

It is often said that, in the case of infidelity, once a cheater, always a cheater. Infidelity is a moral dilemma for people involved in extradyadic relations because it undermines the foundation of trust and love established between partners, as well as violates the social...

The Importance of Male Chastity in Marriage

Throughout history, society has placed a significant emphasis on the importance of female chastity within the confines of marriage. However, the importance of male chastity has often been overlooked. In recent years, however, there has been an increased focus on the importance of male chastity...

European Marriages of the New World Order

As Europe began to institute colonization, colonial leaders had to consider various methods and means for permanency. For example, colonial leaders decided to recruit European women to migrate to the colonies in hopes of laying a religious foundation through marriage and linage. The reason for...

• New World Order

The Homemaker: Chastity as the Foundation of Marriage

Marriage was seen as utmost important in the life of an individual in the early nineteenth century in India, to be skipped by none, and is seen of high cultural value in the eyes of the society which is essentially patriarchal. In 'The Homemaker (Gharwali),...

The Long-Standing Marriage of Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter

The president of any country is considered as being the number one citizen in the country, which means that virtually every aspect of his or her life is subject to public scrutiny. This public scrutiny begins with the declaration to run for public office, the...

• Jimmy Carter

Criterias to Achieve a Happy Marriage

Have you ever planned your life 10 or 20 years ahead? We bet you do. As a teenager, you planned to finish high school, get to college or university, obtain a diploma and start your professional career. Apart from that, you thought of leading your...

• Happy Marriage

Secrets for a Happy and Long-Lasting Marriage

Divorce is a word that every couple freaks out when mentioned by the person they promised to love and cherish. It drains one emotionally and often leaving them feeling wasted and dims their dreams crumbled and wiped away. That may be the case, but there...

Hardships and Struggles of Inter-Class Marriage and Relationships

The class of people we become is shaped by the money and material things we used to have growing up. We can be either working-class, middle-class, or upper-class. Most of us begin dating and have relationships with others with similar backgrounds, income level, educational level,...

• Middle Class
• Social Class

The Comparison of Marriage Versus Cohabitation

Love makes the world go round. It’s not money, neither is it corruption. It is Love. Love can be seen as having strong intense affection for something or someone. Love’s role is very vital in this argument. I will start with marriage first. According to...

The Central Theme of Love and Marriage in Jane Austen's Persuasion

Throughout her novels, Jane Austen portrays love and marriage to be centered between the hero and heroine. By making the theme of love and marriage central and continuous, Austen displays a change in the dynamic of love taking place at the time in the surrounding...

• Jane Austen

Marriage as a Dubious Goal in Mansfield Park

Jane Austen’s 1814 novel Mansfield Park begins and ends with the topic of marriage. In this regard it seems to fit into the genre of the courtship novel, a form popular in the eighteenth century in which the plot is driven by the heroine’s difficulties...

The Themes of Christina Rossetti's Discussed Poem Goblin Market

The goblin market by Christina Rossetti has sparked debates among many critics in discussing what the main themes she, as an author, wanted to address. Composed in 1862, Rossetti’s Goblin Market was the setting stone of women poets in a time where women were not...

• Christina Rossetti

To What Extent Christina Rossetti Uses Materialism and Status to Cloud the Oppression Women Face Within Marriage

As H.Berten would put it, “for better or for worse, everything seems somehow related to everything else. With regard to the social position of women, and therefore also with regard to the field of female writing. ” Various text published by christina Rossetti such as...

• Materialism

Forms of Union of Marriage in Roman Law

Marriage was an integral part of traditional ancient roman way of life, thus it is no surprise that laws pertaining to the subject were constantly changing and progressing, particularly from the classical era to that of late antiquity. Most scholarly sources available to us today...

Complexities of Marriage in Jhumpa Lahiri's Interpreter of Maladies

Marriage is an institution that has been around for centuries, and throughout its existence, it has faced a multitude of challenges. In the short story collection 'Interpreter of Maladies' by Jhumpa Lahiri, the theme of marriage is explored through various characters and their relationships. Lahiri's...

• Interpreter of Maladies

Polygamy: Features and Disadvantages of this Marriage Strategy

Polygamy is a mating strategy or marriage structure which involves a male having multiple female partners. Polygamy is the prevalent mating strategy of 95-97% of mammalian species, within these species males provide little to no investment in their offspring and seek as many mates as...

• Human Sexuality

Polygamy: Common Practice in Many Countries

Introduction Polygamy is basically a practice or custom which gives a man a right to have more than one wives.This is a common practice in many countries. In ayub khan era, an ordinance was passed on 2nd march 1961 and it is known as Family...

• Human Sexual Behavior

Pros and Cons of Polygamy Life in Marriage

Problems of Polygamy Polygamy is a social phenomenon that has existed for thousands of years in cultures around the world. It was born of 'necessity' or a show of wealth. It made sense for one man to mate with many women in order to have...

Marriage and Forms Of Marriage

Marriage provides benefits which are denied to same-sex couples on the basis of their orientation; if the function of marriage is the legal recognition of loving, or “voluntary intimate,” relationships, the exclusion of same-sex relationships appears arbitrary and unjustly discriminatory (Wellington 1995, 13).Same-sex relationships are...

Concepts of Equal Marriage in De Gouges and Wollstonecraft's Work

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• Mary Wollstonecraft

Understanding Child Rights and Expression

Childhood is a stage in which all humans’ beings go through, at this stage they are vulnerable because a child is not fully developed mentally, physically or cognitively. A child is any human being below the age of eighteen (18) years old. Children rights range...

• Social Problems

Motives and Causes of Cheating on Significant Others

Women tend to have a higher rate of cheating when they are young but as men move on to an older age group they have higher rates of cheating (Wang). There are different types of cheating a different way people around the globe would define...

Parallel Between Romeo & Juliet & The Marriage Of Shakespeare & Hathaway

Romeo and Juliet is a classic known the world over. It has been translated hundreds of times throughout hundreds of years because the universal themes of love and loss resonate with everybody. Because love is such a personal thing one cannot help but look to...

Understanding The Meaning Of A Married Life In The Film "Why Did I Get Married?"

Why Did I Get Married? Why did I get married was released into theaters on October 12, 2007, from Lionsgate Studio. The Director of this movie was Tyler Perry, and it was rated PG-13. The shots of this film were great along with angles caught...

• Film Analysis

A Guide to Building and Sustaining Marriage with the Perfect Mate

This book will talk about the ways and theories of how to stay married one you are married. It will cover stuff like communication, similarity, physical attractiveness, similarity, balance and equity theory, and proximity. Communication is important in relationships. I will cover the aspects of...

Examining the Influence of Religion on General Society

A frightened teenager approaches his parents. "Can we talk?" he asks tentatively, and sits down. He has both of his parent's attention, all eyes on him. "Mom, dad," he says fidgeting with his coat zipper, "I think I'm gay." His parents take a second to...

• Christian Marriage

A Subjective Assessment on the Institution of Christian Marriage

Marriage Asylum It is my belief that the institution of marriage is a sham, designed by pious Christain fanatics in order to subjugate, control, and furthermore oppress a woman's personal liberties, intellectual freedoms and artistic development. It is also my belief that much in the...

Assessing the Procedures of a Christian Marriage Ceremony

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The Hospitality And Inter-Ethnic Marriages Of Nigerian

Nigerian hospitality is premised on the fact that no one man is an island on himself or herself. Rather, each and every member is an important part of the whole community. This important aspect of our culture, which dates back to the days of old,...

Literature Review Of The Issue Of Coming Out In A Family

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Best topics on Marriage

1. Should Couples Live Together Before Marriage

2. The Question Of Whether Age Matters In A Relationship

3. The Past And The Present Of Arranged Marriage In Ancient Rome

4. Forced Marriage: The Issues Of Being In An Arranged Marriage

5. The Causes Of Divorce: The Reason Marriage Fails

6. The Influence Of Family On The Choice Between Family And Career

7. Woman’s Role And Choice Between Marriage Vs. Career

8. Main Reasons For Divorce In The United States And How It Impacts Family

9. Common Social Problems Encountered In Family Life And How They Affect The Marriage

10. History of Social Care in the 20th Century Ireland

11. Comparison of Cohabitation and Marriage: Advantages and Disadvantages

12. Theme of Marriage and Symbolism in Short Story Ligeia by Edgar Allen Poe and Novel Young Goodman Brown by Nathaniel Hawthorne

13. Beatrice’s Character Analysis in “Much Ado About Nothing”

14. The View on Love and Marriage in Kate Chopin’s A Pair of Silk Stockings and The Storm

15. The Psychological and Political Factors of Infidelity and Adultery

• Career Goals
• Personal Experience
• Personality
• Perseverance
• Barbie Doll
• Childhood Lessons

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Memoir coach and author Marion Roach

Welcome to The Memoir Project, the portal to your writing life.

How to Write About Marriage? Learn How to Write the Personal Essay

I TEACH ONLINE MEMOIR CLASSES and work as a memoir coach and memoir editor, and in those roles I get a lot of requests for teaching how to write the personal essay. The essay is my favorite medium and most of the essays I have written and published take on simple, domestic issues stemming from marriage and family. The key to writing from home is to stay small. You are most likely to succeed in delivering a feeling to the reader if you attempt to do so without telling us what that feeling is. Navigating this space of showing, not telling, is critical to the success of a good, domestic essay.

What do I mean by that? Just this: Let the reader do some of the work. Let them do the math. Let them read it and gather together the details without you having to say something like: Hey, look at how someone loves me . Just show us. How? Here’s an example.

Read this essay and leave in the comments what you notice about what does and does not get said, and what you feel at the end.

I HAVE THREE FREEZERS. There, I admit it. I do. A born and raised New Yorker, maybe I have nothing more or less than a shtetl mentality, some genetic holdover from a time when there was never plenty. But probably not, since the closest I’ve come to Anatevka was fourth row center seats for “Fiddler on the Roof” when I was twelve.

And so it remains one of the greater mysteries of my marriage – to my husband, that is – that I buy chickens and freeze them, make stock and freeze it, make pesto and freeze it, and that every once in a while in the blur that I am as I whirl between the three freezers, I put something into one of them that, well, simply doesn’t belong.

It’s good he doesn’t take it personally, though that is probably because I have assured him that this started long before our marriage, and that I once located a sumptuous pair of alligator loafers in the fridge after thinking for months that I had lost them. They were in a brown paper bag, exactly the size of a pizza slice, so it seems obvious to me what my mind did when I got home from the shoe repair. Into the fridge, I thought, and that, as they say, was that. So glad was I when I found them that there were no recriminations. Plus, at the time I lived alone, so I had no one with whom the share the joy of finding them. Cold, though they were, I merely slipped them on and instantly regained my sense of balance.

These days, I have an audience, as well as several mouths to feed. Along with providing food for the adults in my home, I also cook for our dog. He has allergies. Seven years we’ve been at it. The cost of this is 14 sweet potatoes and 14 chicken thighs each week, and so an enormous canvas bag of sweet potatoes sits on top of the chest freezer in the garage (did I forget to mention that of the three freezers, one is the chest variety?) It’s the kind of bag that ship riggers use. Strong handled and sturdy, we need it for when the price is low – a recent 99 cents/pound, for instance – and we buy in bulk. It’s hard to lose.

Or so you might think.

Saturday was a cooking day for me, and so I am writing in real time here, reporting from the front. The last of the parsnips, all of the frozen vegetable scrapings, cilantro stems and other tidbits from the freezer went into the cauldron-sized stock pot. Back and forth from the freezers I went, finding tempting stashes of things to add.

“Oh look,” I said to the dog, “Chives!” The dog gave me the look he always gives me. It’s lovely to be adored no matter what you do.

My chives are now up in my kitchen garden, so clearly the frozen ones had to go into the soup. And in they went. And more things came to mind, and apparently I was wearing one of my many pair of glasses and carrying a mug of tea while I triangulated my way between my freezers. And then the washing machine sang its little song it sings when the load is done and the triangulation became a parallelogram and I added an upstairs trip.

The soup was creating that kind of happy haze it does when the aroma has taken over the house, and everything seemed right with the world. Out to the freezer I went again when I noticed the mega bag of potatoes was gone. Missing. Thinking it might help if I could see better, I patted myself down for my eyeglasses. Gone too. And what about that tea? Wasn’t I drinking something just moments ago?

Opening the stand freezer I was delighted to find the full bag of potatoes quietly cooling inside. Not that alarming, really. Many remarkable things have been unearthed there, including a portable phone and a book. It happens. And being a good wife, I called to my husband.

“Look, honey!” He came in from the kitchen, and that look on his face was the dividend check, the little extra I get from years of investing in this life.

The glasses? They were in the laundry hamper. Obviously. But it was my husband who found the tea mug, hours later, in that grand sweep I now realize he quietly does every day and last thing on most nights, simply putting everything back in its place so we can get on with our lives.

Tips for How to Write The Personal Essay:

Most of my essays come from domestic moments. Before I set out to write from my idea of home, I read extensively. Specifically, when learning how to write about marriage, domesticity or cooking, I can credit the great Laurie Colwin, Russell Baker and Nora Ephron for some great provocation. I read and I learned how to write the personal essay.

Have you seen my list of books to read to write memoir ? Have a look.

Want more? Join me in an upcoming online memoir class where tips like these are plentiful.

And if you have not done so already, listen in to QWERTY, my podcast by, for and about writers. 

Photo by Paul Gilmore on Unsplash

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Related posts:

• How To Get A Personal Essay Published? Write it Like This
• Marriage Memoir: Going to the Dogs
• Marriage Memoir: The Questions One Should Never Ask

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Reader interactions.

Betsy Marro says

April 20, 2015 at 2:27 pm

Marion – I laughed out loud as I read this. In our house, we take turns finding what the other has lost as we wander through our home and our lives. I still recall the day that my cell phone rang just as I pulled into work. It was my love, speaking in that confused, amazed, indignant, frustrated tone that signals the loss of something crucial. In this case it was his glasses, his last pair. He couldn’t drive without them. He was late for work. He could no longer think clearly about where to look. “Would you like me to come home?” I asked. “Would you?” he said. And twenty minutes later there we were, retracing his steps. “Did you check the laundry closet?” I asked. “I wouldn’t have put them there!” he said. Which of course spoke volumes. I went in, opened the washing machine and there they were at the bottom of the drum, the lenses staring up at me. I didn’t crow or chortle or get too mad. By then I’d learned what we both know all too well, that it is only a matter of time before I’ve lost my keys, again, in my purse.

marion says

April 21, 2015 at 6:22 pm

Oh, that’s lovely, Betsy. Thank you for being in the club, and willingly admitting to it. Please come back soon for more. I sometimes forget what rich fodder is there is marriage. The everyday is the best place to go for material, isn’t it?

diane Cameron says

April 20, 2015 at 5:53 pm

Now I was waiting to hear that at least one of those freezers had a stock of Creme de la Mer–just in case, or your favorite red lipstick–also just in case. That I would understand, or for storing cashmere crew necks, which I understand store best in freezing cold storage. Chickens? Chives? Lordy–the things I learn about you.

Not even a small freezer bag of lipsticks?

April 21, 2015 at 6:21 pm

Small bag. The good stuff. The stuff I did not buy at the drugstore. How did you know?

Julia Pomeroy says

April 21, 2015 at 10:56 am

So funny, Marion, and so true. I love your home, your husband, your dog. Thank you for inviting me in.

April 21, 2015 at 6:20 pm

Thank you, Julia. I am delighted by the affection and friendship.

Jan Hogle says

April 21, 2015 at 12:16 pm

Damn… I’ve lost my expensive prescription glasses with the detachable sunglasses. Can you help me find them??

Great post!

April 21, 2015 at 6:19 pm

Found ’em. In the freezer.

Robin Botie says

April 21, 2015 at 6:11 pm

Oh THAT’s what husbands are for. Been so many years I forgot how great they can be around the house. I’ve been losing things left and right all this time. Cheers!

Ha ha ha. Yes, they can be great around the house. Thanks for coming by for a laugh.

Melinda says

April 22, 2015 at 11:11 am

I have a clear childhood memory of my mother standing in front of the freezer, dumbstruck, as she pulled out her purse. When I laughed she said, “I’m not worried about the purse. Now I just need to find the damn ice cream.”

Now that I am of that certain age, I completely understand.

April 22, 2015 at 12:18 pm

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Laughing so damn hard right now. What a kind gift this is you offer. Thank you. And what a fabulous thing for you to write about. Go on.

Sherrey Meyer says

April 25, 2015 at 2:34 pm

Marion, I’m guessing you can hear my laughing all the way from Portland, OR to the east coast! Such a funny story you’ve shared, and one which many of us can relate to in one way or another. I don’t have a chest freezer, and I only have one freezer other than the one with the fridge. But I do manage to lose things in that tall freezer residing in a garage that is really my husband’s workshop and not a garage at all. I’m wondering now if that’s where he’s lost all those books of blank checks he was looking for and perhaps it’s where I might find the springtime blouse I can’t find now that it’s spring. I’ll go look!

Kathleen Pooler says

May 6, 2015 at 10:52 am

Oh my gosh, Marion, you had me laughing out loud as I recalled my own stories of “losing “my eyeglasses which were sitting on my head or finding the box of Triscuits in the refrigerator and wondering who could have possibly done that?? I’m so happy I’m not alone in this. Thank you for sharing!

Amanda says

April 5, 2020 at 9:57 am

The cilantro stem, the dividend check (just beautiful – a ROI), something about the sturdy bag reminded me of my grandmother’s cool damp cellar. I had to read the essay twice to know why the last sentence struck me – the grand sweep, but it was your words “that I now realize” he does…I do the grand sweep of our night stands every morning. It is part of my morning rhythm after he leaves for work. And moreso, I pick up clues – an empty ice cream bowl tells me he stayed up later than me and will have a story to tell about an episode or a news piece, business cards tell me he’s mowing today, the gold PO Box key – he’ll be calling for it any minute. As I do the sweep each morning, I think of him and wonder if he knows how it happens. I suppose I’m waiting for that ROI!

Julia Grant says

April 5, 2020 at 10:14 am

It is lovely how you provided a portrait of a loving marriage through your articulation of your meanderings in the kitchen, the items you lose, and those that are found by your husband. Thank you for the lesson!

Wendy Komancheck says

April 5, 2020 at 1:46 pm

Hiya Marion: I’m glad I’m not the only one leaving things in odd places. Your husband should start a support group for men whose wives are forgetful! :) It’s the artist/creative inside us! My older son also has had to suffer with my absent-mindedness–but he thinks I lost my mind. I always reply, “I wasn’t always like this. It wasn’t until I had kids.) Said in jest, of course.:) Thank you for sharing!

Colleen Golafshan says

April 9, 2020 at 1:57 am

Oh, I relate to misplacing items – sometimes not finding them for years. This morning I happily found, from a pile I’d pulled out behind my desk, a hard copy of your recommended memoir books, which I wanted as I research my first memoir essay (after working on book-length projects). It’s about my years as a homeschooling stay-at-home mum, my failings and asking forgiveness of my two beautiful children, now rewarded with their amazing love in hard times.

Here’s what I heard in your essay: You’re a born and raised New Yorker, genetically but distantly Jewish. You love to keep food frozen and at the ready in your three freezers, which include a chest freezer on which you keep a canvas bag of sweet potatoes for the dog.

On Saturday, while whirling around creating a cauldron-sized soup–with parsnips, vegetable scraps, cilantro stems, chives and other tidbits–and carrying a mug of tea, you had to attend to your clothes washing.

Once the soup was on, creating a happy haze of aroma through the house, you noticed the sweet potatoes were missing, as well as the glasses you’d been wearing and your tea. You found the sweet potatoes in a standing freezer. Showing this to your husband, he rewarded you with a look, a paycheck for all the years you’ve invested in his life. The glasses turned up in the laundry hamper but your tea mug wasn’t found for hours, and then by your husband.

What you did not say in the essay: Apart from your preamble about the art of memoir which should show rather than say, Hey Look at how someone loves me, you don’t actually say your husband loves you or that you love him and the home you’ve created. But these facts well up through the peace you describe at home, despite the chaos sometimes caused by misplacing items. There you have an audience of an adoring dog and a husband who not only shares your joy of finding things in unusual places but who balances your tendency to leave such things out of place with his quiet nightly routine.

When you lived alone, it took longer to regain your sense of balance after misplacing your loafers than these days when your husband quietly ‘sweeps’ through the house at night to find misplaced items.

How I feel after this review is grateful for the peace you feel and share when New York is in chaos with so many affected by coronavirus. However, this was not a clear feeling on my first read.

As an Australian, I often feel at a loss to fully translate others’ communicated lifestyles into exactly what is meant, as I did when I first read this essay. Using maps and looking up word definitions helps (eg. shtelt). For example, I love listening to your inspiring podcasts, yet I often feel I lose a lot of rich context, especially when interviewed authors are from your area and you have shared history, far from my western Sydney townhouse. I’ve not been to New York, though I’ve stayed with friends and family living in Minnesota and California. These days I travel in books and online as I learn to live with low-grade lymphoma that limits even local travel.

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Literary Yog

Of Marriage and Single Life by Francis Bacon: Summary, Line by Line Explanation, and Theme

Table of Contents

“ Of Marriage and Single Life ” by Francis Bacon is a short essay where the author explores the advantages and disadvantages of married and single life. He starts the essay by highlighting a drawback of married life. Bacon says familial responsibilities can hold a man back from starting grand projects. A married man remains busy in fulfilling the needs of his family.

On the flip side, unmarried men are free and can dedicate themselves more fully to the well-being of society than married men. History shows us that many achievements have been made by the unmarried. However, some unmarried individuals are self-centered and are not concerned about others.

Single men want to be bachelor because they value freedom above all. They can be friends or masters or servants, but they can not be an ideal citizen.

While marriage has certain restrictions, it makes people humane and responsible. However, single people can be charitable. A wife contributes to a man’s life as a mistress in youth, companion in middle age, and caregiver in old age. Marriage offers a support system that a single life cannot provide.

In discussing the ideal timing of marriage, Bacon mentions that both young men and older men should not marry.

Through the discussion of the benefits and difficulties of being married or single, the essay suggests how these choices impact an individual.

Line By Line Explanation and Analysis

The limitations of married life.

A married man with a wife and children is a prisoner of luck. His familial responsibilities and commitments stop him from pursuing “great enterprise” (Bacon 81), either virtuous or harmful.

Enterprise refers to a big dream, which could be a new business or starting any major life-changing project. It can be virtuous or mischievous.

Virtue refers to noble and morally admirable action that contributes to the betterment of oneself and others. On the flip side, mischief means actions that are immoral or risky for one’s family.

This confinement has both negative and positive aspects. A married man cannot invest money and time for any noble purpose. He must prioritize their welfare, security, and needs above his desires.

Therefore, his married life confines him to the wheel of fortune. Conversely, his family duties also stop him from taking high risks that might affect the family financially or mentally. His family might save him from getting ruined.

So, after considering both sides, we can state married life is neither a limitation nor an advantage.

I think Bacon offers a generalized view of marital responsibility. Many married individuals, including those with children, have undertaken calculated risks and achieved significant success. Their families have been a source of support.

Today, with dual-income families and an equal sharing of domestic responsibilities, marriage might not affect someone’s chance to take on big projects. However, during the Elizabethan period, it was not usual for women to be the breadwinners.

Service to Public Life 

Unlike married men, single men have historically been behind humanity’s noteworthy achievements. They have shared their talent and resources with the world and served humanity. 

For instance, successful people Nikola Tesla, A. P. J. Abdul Kalam, Homi J. Bhabha et al. led a single lifestyle. Their bachelorhood allowed them to focus on their work that has benefited the society. 

However, this statement of Bacon is a half-truth. Success is not entirely the domain of the unmarried. Figures like Srinivasa Ramanujan and Nambi Narayanan prove that marital status cannot limit success. 

These examples above show that success does not depend on marital status. Dedication, a support system, and effective work-life balance management are among the factors that lead to this result.

The Responsibilities of Married Men 

Married men remain busy building their family’s future. Their promises about “dearest pledges” (81) often occupy their mind. 

The phrase “dearest pledges” (81) might refer to their valuable commitment to their children’s future. They are bound to ensure a better, secure future for their children. 

Unlike them, single men can dedicate their lives to noble causes. Though Bacon praises the single lifestyle, he acknowledges that not all single men care for the well-being of their fellow human beings. They are self-centered and show little concern for future generations.  

It shows the difference in mindset between those dedicated to societal betterment and those who are not. 

Single Life as a Means of Prosperity

Some unmarried individuals consider having a wife and children as “bills of charges” (81). For them, family is only a financial liability. Some other greedy rich are prideful for not having kids, for they think their absence makes them seem wealthier. 

They might have heard people saying, “That person is really rich” (81) and someone else adding, “Yes, but he has to spend a lot on his kids,” (81) as if the kids make him less rich. 

Bacon marks a societal value that gives importance to material success above everything. This mindset sees having children as a barrier to increasing wealth.

Such a view ignores all the diverse, non-material benefits a family can offer, such as emotional and physical support.

The Benefit of Single Life: Freedom 

The biggest reason for being single is liberty. Compared to single men, they enjoy greater independence. However, a single life is not for everyone. It is ideal for those who can please themselves and have a carefree outlook.

Single men value their freedom to the extent that they consider “their girdles and garters, to be bonds and shackles” (81). Girdles and garters are items of clothing used to hold up stockings. 

It emphasizes how even a minor obligation or social restriction, which is symbolized by girdles and garters, makes them feel like actual physical tools of imprisonment: bonds and shackles. 

Several psychological factors contribute to why some individuals dislike confinement. These factors range from personality characteristics and cultural influences to experiences. For example, individuals who experienced excessive control in their upbringing or previous relationships may be sensitive to any boundary.

The Drawback of Single Men 

An unmarried man can be a best friend, master, or worker. An unmarried man has more time than a married man to invest in friendships and professional settings.

However, he cannot be a loyal citizen or reliable member of society because of his unpredictable nature. People who run away from societal responsibilities are usually single.

It implies unmarried men can not be uniformly reliable across all domains of their lives. He may not be equally committed to other responsibilities, such as following societal norms that may not align with his interests.

Therefore, the distinction lies in the personal choice and priority of commitments. In friendships and professional settings, commitments may be based more on interests and mutual benefits. 

For whom Single Life is Ideal

Bacon discusses the suitability of a single life for various professions, including churchmen, judges, magistrates, and soldiers, and how marital status impacts their roles and responsibilities.

Single life suits religious leaders well because it allows them to dedicate themselves to their duties without distractions. This job requires dedication and plenty of time. Unlike them, a married religious figure might struggle to balance his duty and family responsibilities. 

In the judiciary, marital status seems less relevant to job performance. But, if judges are corrupted, they will be much worse than husbands having a spouse who might distract them.

These servants prioritize private interests over justice, making them five times worse than an influenced husband.

Bacon’s view of a confined married man stems from the idea that married life distracts a man from focusing on notable public work. This perspective is outdated as it overlooks that both partners can be financially supportive of each other.

Family plays a crucial role in a soldier’s life in the military. Therefore, some generals charge the soldiers often up by reminding the image of soldiers’ families. 

The prospect of uniting family after war makes them alive even in distressful situations. Their family connection reminds them of why they are fighting. It can increase their dedication and courage.

Conversely, generals implant hatred for marriage in Turkish soldiers. As a result, they have no emotional reason to fight without injury. It possibly makes them less effective compared to those with families. 

Bacon observes that the undervaluing of marriage could make soldiers feel less motivated. 

The impact of family ties on a soldier’s performance is just one aspect of motivators. Ideological commitment, nationalism, and personal honor are other motivators that can influence effectiveness in combat situations. 

Moreover, the absence of a family does not make a soldier less motivated. Sometimes, it could even free a soldier from personal worries and make him more focused on their military objectives. 

Why is Marriage Important?

According to Bacon, “Certainly wife and children are a kind of discipline of humanity” (82). Familial responsibilities teach individuals human values such as love, patience, and empathy. 

Family life is a school of human values that shapes individuals into compassionate, lovable, and responsible members of society. 

However, Bacon also acknowledges that single individuals can possess these virtues. They can be more charitable than married men because of their fewer expenses. 

Many single men and women, including religious gurus, dedicate themselves to humanitarian causes. They often exhibit qualities like humanity in them.

Despite these virtues, some single individuals can be cruel. Similarly, not all married people show compassion and empathy. Thus, this suggests that virtues and flaws are not completely determined by marital status. 

The absence of family and lack of experience of empathy, tenderness, and compassion in their lives might make them harsh. 

Their hardhearted nature makes them suited for roles that require strict judgment, like that of an inquisitor. The term “inquisitor” (82) suggests a role involving rigorous inspection, where kindness in the method is not required.

Bacon notes that a serious person with good conduct is reliable and often makes him a loving spouse. Bacon refers to Ulysses as an example. In Cicero’s  On the Orator , I, 44, it mentions Ulysses prefers “vetulam suam prætulit immortalitati” (82). 

Goddess Calypso promised Ulysses immortality, but he has to choose between her and his wife. Instead of accepting the offer, he returns to Ithaca to meet his aging wife, Penelope (Pitcher 82n10). 

His choice exemplifies that trustworthiness is foundational to a loving and lasting marriage. 

Similarly, a chaste woman values her loyalty and considers her merit as a reason to be proud and bold. She will remain loyal and committed if she realizes her husband is wise.

In contrast, if her husband is jealous without cause, she thinks her husband does not have faith in her virtues. It can make her lose interest in him and eventually harm the relationship.

Bacon comments on the roles of a woman in different stages of a man’s life: “Wives are young men’s mistresses; companions for middle age; and old men’s nurses” (82). 

In the days of youth, a wife is a source of pleasure for a man. Like a man-mistress relationship, passion is the most vital aspect of their relationship. 

Emotional companionship becomes essential during middle age. A woman becomes a companion to share in his happiness and sadness.

In the last stage of life, a woman serves her husband. 

This statement reflects the patriarchal mindset of the era, where a man’s needs and the stages of his life determine a woman’s role.

This view differs from the modern concept of marriage. In contemporary society, the values of marriage center on support, care, mutual needs, and respect between partners. 

When Should One Marry?

A man has the autonomy to decide when to marry, though opinions on the best timing for marriage can vary. Regarding this matter, Bacon cites Thales of Miletus, who answered this question.

The sage of Greece said, “A young man not yet, an older man not at all” (82). He rejected marriage by telling his mother he was too young to marry. Late, when Thales of Miletus faced the same question, he said he was too old to marry (Pitcher 82n12). 

It advises that a young man who cannot control his desires is not eligible for marriage. Marriage is not just about physical companionship, but also about building a friendship.

On this topic, Friedrich Nietzsche says in  Human, All Too Human , “The best friend will probably get the best wife, because a good marriage is based on talent for friendship” (Nietzsche, 306).

Therefore, a young man should wait to mature emotionally before reaching a position where he can understand himself and his partner.

Similarly, an aged man whose youth has passed is also not an ideal candidate for marriage. He might have maturity, but he will lack the energy to keep the spark alive in a relationship. The complexities and responsibilities of marriage might not be worth undertaking after a certain age.

Bacon observes that bad husbands often have good wives, and there are two reasons. 

First, if a husband rarely shows affection, any small act of kindness can become incredibly precious to his wife. Despite having a negative impression of her husband, she will cherish these moments of kindness.

Second, some wives might be prideful in their patience in difficult situations. Her pride in enduring a cruel husband could be a factor in why they continue the relationship. 

Moreover, if such a husband is their choice, despite the warnings of their friends, they are often determined to justify their decision.

This determination can make them tolerate their husbands’ misbehavior more than they otherwise would. It suggests they are committed to their choice, possibly to avoid accepting they were wrong.

The theme of “Of Marriage and Single Life” is the benefits and demerits of both married and single lifestyles. Francis Bacon, in his essays like “Of Marriage and Single Life”, “ Of Truth ”, “ Of Friendship ”, “ Of Studies ” etc., balances the benefits of each subject with its drawbacks.

This essay also dives into the advantages and disadvantages of both single and married life.

The first benefit of single life is the freedom it grants for public service and personal advancement. Without familial duties, an individual can dedicate himself to serving humanity and engaging in noble pursuits.

On the other hand, family responsibilities impose conditions on taking risks and investing personally in new experiences. One has to prioritize the commitments to the family. So, a married person may find it challenging to invest time and effort into societal contributions or take risks that could impact the security of his family.

As argued above, this perspective oversimplifies the complexities of individual circumstances. This perspective suggests a single man has more time and freedom to advance his career.

However, it is not true that married individuals cannot achieve remarkable progress and make significant contributions to society.

Another benefit of being single is the freedom it brings. A single person has more independence compared to a married man.

For example, an unmarried person has the liberty to pursue activities that bring them joy without worrying about the impact on their family. Such an individual does not like any form of restriction that might limit their independence.

While a married person can enjoy similar freedoms, they often face restrictions or plans to fulfill their family responsibilities.

Financial stability is another area where single life frequently has an advantage. Without the expense of a family, a single individual may find it easier to manage his finances. In contrast, married life can have financial challenges.

Although it may be true in the Elizabethan era, today, women earn as much as men. Many working couples share financial responsibilities equally, which can mitigate some of the economic challenges. However, not all singles or couples are financially well-off.

In terms of social roles, single individuals can easily fit into roles as friends, masters, or servants, but they might not face the same level of responsibility as a married person does. Being married often means developing a sense of responsibility, as it requires considering the welfare of a family.

Being married comes with its own set of teachings. It teaches one to be humane and caring. While a single man might often be generous, he can also be harsh. It could be because they do not experience the care and affection that family life offers, which naturally softens a person’s character.

So, married people are more compassionate and better at socializing than those who are single. This difference highlights how the experience of family life can influence one’s emotional and social development.

Another benefit of married life is having a companion. Married individuals have a partner to share joy, sadness, success, and failure.

A single man might not always have someone close to share his deepest thoughts, feelings, or ideas. This lack of companionship can lead to loneliness. Therefore, a single life suits those who are self-satisfied and naturally humorous.

In conclusion, while some observations of Bacon might hold some truth in the context of his time, they do not universally apply. The ability to be charitable, kind, cruel, or self-disciplined does not depend on whether someone is married or unmarried.

Instead, it reflects an individual’s experiences and choices. Being single is not better than being married, and vice versa. While marriage may work well for some, it may not work for others.

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Marriage Life - Free Essay Examples and Topic Ideas

Marriage life is a sacred bond between two individuals who have made a public commitment to love, cherish, and support one another. It involves sharing all aspects of life together, including joys, triumphs, and challenges. A successful marriage requires constant effort, patience, and communication from both partners. It can be incredibly rewarding, offering companionship, emotional support, and a sense of security. However, it can also require significant compromise and sacrifice, as couples navigate differences in personalities, priorities, and lifestyles. Through it all, marriage life can be a beautiful and fulfilling journey that brings out the best in each partner.

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Of Marriage and Single Life

Of marriage and single life by francis bacon summary & analysis, more from francis bacon.

Of Marriage and Single Life by Francis Bacon | Summary & Analysis

In Of Marriage and Single Life , Bacon highlights the differences between the married life and the single’s life and the various advantages or disadvantages of the same. The burden of a married life According to Bacon a married man has a family to raise and take care of.

Table of Contents

Of Marriage and Single Life Summary

The liberty of an unmarried life.

He feels that the unmarried men are unrestricted and free to make bold moves that can produce important changes in culture and society.

Wealthy singles can be generous with their money are therefore sought after by churches. Unlike married men who are responsible to provide for their family members, the bachelors are less encumbered by such worries.

This empowers them with a commitment to make efforts for improvement. This also drives them to explore the future consequences of action or inaction in the present. It can lead to a need to make a better tomorrow for their children and their children

In the same vein, Bacon points at various single people who are lethargic, unmotivated and wasteful with their time and energy. They abuse their bachelorhood and often lack sensitivity to various problems of the present and dangers in the future.

Then there are a few who are married but consider their wives and children as a burden in their own freedom and selfish desires. There are also some wealthy people, who wittingly decide to not reproduce or have children in fear of losing their riches to their heirs.

To them, procreation will lead to more number of claimants to their wealth and property. They refuse to see the need and benefits of a family and leaving a legacy beyond their material possessions.

The Unreliability of the Bachelor

Bacon then points out people who stay single because they believe that marriage only leads to more fetters, restrictions, responsibilities and obligations.

Therefore, unmarried men are always a flight risk, prone to just run away and desertion. They are often good employees, better friends, as they have ample time for their employees and friends.

A Discipline in Humanity

Bacon then described the need for men of justice like judges and magistrates to espouse the qualities of honesty, reasoning and fairness.

While an unrestrained and unanchored bachelor can be unpredictable, reckless and discretionary in his thought and judgment, a married man is more suited for the responsibility of a judge.

In military organizations, the generals use the whole premise of ‘a family to protect’ when they address their soldiers. The married soldiers are committed to ensuring security if their wives and children.

The lofty ideals of virtues and chivalry, patriotism and duty are praised and encouraged when soldiers take to the battlefield.

Thus, in a way having a wife and children are necessary restraints on the animalistic and baser side of men and humanity. It curtails the Freudian basic and animal instincts and desires.

Marriage has a way of establishing a loving home. Single men may be richer and more capable of making massive charitable donations but they clack the empathetic and sensitive side that comes from genuine companionship.

They lack the need and ability to evaluate the moral significance and correctness of their thoughts and action.

The Good Husband and Wife

Men with ethics and morals are good husbands. They are not tempted by the pleasures of infidelity and remain honest and loyal to their wives and marriage.

Here, Bacon gives the example of Ulysses who valued his wife more than an immortal life. In the same vein, the woman also courts and regarding chastity. They preserve it as their sense of purity.

Their relationship is strong, durable and enriched with mutual respect. The vice of jealousy can weaken this bond as the wife will not feel the trust of her husband if he is envious and susceptible to doubt and suspicion.

The Apt Time for Marriage

Bacon says that deciding the correct time for marriage can be tricky for young and desirous men. For them, it is the pleasures of the body that are most pressing. Therefore, he suggests that young men should be patient and not rush into important decisions.

The Failed Husbands

Bacon feels that we often see some the most tyrannical and cruellest men with the noblest and most generous wives. These women endure great hardships and are happy with even the smallest gestures of affection from their mean husbands.

Their inability to value the affection and care of their wives makes them a failure both as husbands and human beings. Bacon advises such husbands to mend their errant ways and duly regard and honour their doting wives.

Of Marriage and Single Life: Key Thoughts

In Of Marriage and Single Life , Bacon is able to compare single life and married life through different lenses. He puts forward the pros and cons of marriage in terms of how it is viewed by society and how it affects an individual.

Bacon insists that having a family can make a man generous and merciful. It teaches a form of discipline that single men, lack and thus are more cruel and reckless.

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Marriage vs. the Single Life: Who Has It Better?

Is it better to stay single or get married.

Posted December 30, 2016 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader

Does getting married make you happier, healthier, more integrated into society, and better off in all sorts of other physical, emotional, and interpersonal ways? I’ve spent close to two decades making the case that those kinds of claims are grossly exaggerated or just plain wrong. Plus, there are important ways in which lifelong single people do better than people who get married. But I don’t think there is a simple, one-size-fits-all answer to the question of whether it is better to stay single or get married. Let me explain.

What the Research Really Shows

The kinds of studies and comparisons used to support the claim that Marriage Wins just don’t pass scientific muster. They are biased in ways that make married people seem to be doing better than they really are, and single people worse (as explained in more detail here and here and here ). Used as the basis for claiming that getting married benefits people psychologically, the comparisons are scientifically indefensible.

What’s more, even with that big, fat advantage built right into the research, sometimes it is the lifelong single people, rather than the currently married people, who are doing the best. In some studies, including a few based on large, representative national samples, it is the single people who are healthiest. If you follow people over time as they go from being single to getting married and staying married, they end up no happier than they were when they were single . Those who get married and then divorce end up, on the average, less happy than they were when they were single. Getting married is no royal road to longevity , either.

Lifelong single people do better than married people in a variety of ways that don’t get all that much attention . For example, they do more to maintain their ties to friends, siblings, parents, neighbors, and coworkers than married people do. They do more than their share of volunteering and helping people, such as aging parents, who need a lot of help. They experience more autonomy and self-determination, and more personal growth and development .

But It’s Not a Contest: No One Side is the Winner

Ever since I gave an address at the American Psychological Association in August, making the points I just summarized, celebratory headlines have multiplied. Some claim that single people are happier or that they live richer, more meaningful lives. After decades of seeing nothing but Marriage Wins headlines, one would think I should take some pleasure in this whole new sensibility.

The problem, though, is that I’m not actually saying that Singles Win. Yes, it is true that there are some profoundly important ways in which single people are doing better than married people. And those ways in which we are so sure that married people are doing better—well, often they don’t really hold up to scientific scrutiny.

Even so, there are several reasons you should be skeptical, regardless of whether you are being told that marriage wins or single life wins:

• All of the findings you read about are averages. They tell you about what generally happens, but there are always exceptions. The results do not apply equally to everyone.
• The married people and the single people are different people . Suppose a study seemed to show that the people who got married were doing better in some way. Remember, the people who got married chose to do so. If you badgered single people into getting married – especially people who are “ single at heart ” and embrace their single lives – they might not experience the same benefit. To paraphrase one of my favorite cartoons: If I got married, I wouldn’t live longer – it would just seem longer.
• What is most likely to be true is that some people live their best lives by marrying, whereas others live their best, most authentic, most meaningful and fulfilling lives by living single.
• Maybe it is even more complicated than that. Maybe, for some of us, single life is best during certain times in our life, while coupled or married life is better at other times. For example, I’ve talked to widowed people who had very good marriages and have no regrets about the years they spent married, but now that they are single, they embrace that life and never want to marry again.

Something else is important, too: We have a better chance to live our best lives if we are not impoverished or disadvantaged in other significant ways. That’s true for everyone—married, single, or something in between—but I think it is especially true for single people.

In the U.S., for example, people who are officially married are more likely to be protected economically. This happens not just for the obvious reasons that they have a second person who perhaps could support them in the event of a job loss or a decrease in income; and that, when couples are sharing a place and singles are not, the couples benefit from “economies of scale” because they split the rent or mortgage, the utilities, and all the other household expenses. Married people are also gifted with more than 1,000 federal benefits and protections , many of them financial.

Marriage, in contemporary American society, also bestows couples with a whole array of unearned privileges , social, psychological, emotional, political, and cultural. In countless ways that we sometimes don’t even notice, married people’s lives are valued and celebrated while single people’s lives are marginalized or even mocked.

That means that when single people achieve the same level of health or well-being as married people, they do so against greater odds. I think that suggests that single people have an impressive level of resilience —an admirable quality that is rarely recognized or acknowledged.

DePaulo, B. (2006). Singled out: How singles are stereotyped, stigmatized, and ignored, and still live happily ever after . New York: St. Martin’s Press.

DePaulo, B. (2015b). Marriage vs. single life: How science and the media got it so wrong .

Laditka, James N., & Laditka, Sarah B. (2001). Adult children helping older parents: Variations in likelihood and hours by gender, race, and family role. Research on Aging, 23 , 429-256.

Sarkisian, N., & Gerstel, N. (2016). Does singlehood isolate or integrate? Examining the link between marital status and ties to kin, friends, and neighbors. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships , 33 , 361-384.

Bella DePaulo, Ph.D. , an expert on single people, is the author of Single at Heart and other books. She is an Academic Affiliate in Psychological & Brain Sciences, UCSB.

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Of Marriage and Single Life by Francis Bacon

HE that hath wife and children hath given hostages to fortune; for they are impediments to great enterprises, either of virtue or mischief. Certainly the best works, and of greatest merit for the public, have proceeded from the unmarried or childless men; which both in affection and means have married and endowed the public. Yet it were great reason that those that have children should have greatest care of future times; unto which they know they must transmit their dearest pledges. Some there are, who though they lead a single life, yet their thoughts do end with themselves, and account future times impertinences. 1 Nay, there are some other that account wife and children but as bills of charges. Nay more, there are some foolish rich covetous men, that take a pride in having no children, because they may be thought so much the richer. For perhaps they have heard some talk, Such an one is a great rich man, and another except to it, Yea, but he hath a great charge of children; as if it were an abatement to his riches. But the most ordinary cause of a single life is liberty, especially in certain self-pleasing and humorous 2 minds, which are so sensible of every restraint, as they will go near to think their girdles and garters to be bonds and shackles. Unmarried men are best friends, best masters, best servants; but not always best subjects; for they are light to run away; and almost all fugitives are of that condition. A single life doth well with churchmen; for charity will hardly water the ground where it must first fill a pool. It is indifferent for judges and magistrates; for if they be facile and corrupt, you shall have a servant five times worse than a wife. For soldiers, I find the generals commonly in their hortatives put men in mind of their wives and children; and I think the despising of marriage amongst the Turks maketh the vulgar soldier more base. Certainly wife and children are a kind of discipline of humanity; and single men, though they may be many times more charitable, because their means are less exhaust, yet, on the other side, they are more cruel and hardhearted (good to make severe inquisitors), because their tenderness is not so oft called upon. Grave natures, led by custom, and therefore constant, are commonly loving husbands, as was said of Ulysses, vetulam suam prætulit immortalitati [he preferred his old wife to immortality]. Chaste women are often proud and froward, as presuming upon the merit of their chastity. It is one of the best bonds both of chastity and obedience in the wife, if she think her husband wise; which she will never do if she find him jealous. Wives are young men’s mistresses; companions for middle age; and old men’s nurses. So as a man may have a quarrel 3 to marry when he will. But yet he 4 was reputed one of the wise men, that made answer to the question, when a man should marry,—A young man not yet, an elder man not at all. It is often seen that bad husbands have very good wives; whether it be that it raiseth the price of their husband’s kindness when it comes; or that the wives take a pride in their patience. But this never fails, if the bad husbands were of their own choosing, against their friends’ consent; for then they will be sure to make good their own folly.

More from Francis Bacon :

• Of Vicissitude of Things
• Of Judicature
• Of Honor and Reputation
• Of Vain-glory

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I planned an international trip without my husband. I couldn’t believe how people reacted

For nearly a decade, I racked my brain on what a solo trip would look like for me: Perhaps I’d visit the palaces in Rajasthan, India, or climb Mount Kilimanjaro in Tanzania.

I dreamed of dining at a table alone in Europe and sipping on a glass of wine while people watching, a la Carrie Bradshaw in “Sex and the City.” I imagined myself, an extrovert , having no social safety net in a foreign country. I wondered what it would feel like to board a plane and know that when I landed, no one dictated my time.

But cost, limited PTO and other responsibilities always resulted in: “Maybe I'll find out next year.” 

Fast forward to November 2023, and the obstacles that had been in my way now seemed like mere speed bumps: I had saved up money, mapped out my PTO and had no big events for the next few months. Plus, it became as clear as the Aegean Sea (hint, hint) where I should go: Athens, Greece. 

I’m Greek on my mother’s side, a cultural identity that has played a key role in my adult life. For years, I'd yearned to connect with any distant relatives we had in Greece, but asking my mom, aunt, cousins — practically anyone I could think of — led to dead ends. At one point, it seemed more likely that I was going to meet Zeus himself. 

Then, I got lucky: One day my mom remembered a letter a Greek cousin had sent her back in the 1990s. Decades later, she found it for me, and I was able to track down her cousin's two sons on LinkedIn. This was a couple years before my solo journey to Greece, but my newfound family members and I made hypothetical plans to meet up one day. Now, the time had come.

I finally took my wheels off the ground and booked my first-ever solo trip to Athens for March 2024, just four months ahead. 

My husband of almost three years, partner of nearly 14, knows my adventurous spirit well (he even promised to fuel it in our vows!) and was elated to see me elated. I extended an invitation for him to join after — yes, after — I booked my flight, but with work, our dog and my plans to see family I’ve never met before all taken into consideration, he politely declined. All he requested was for me to get him a Greek evil eye bracelet, called a mati, in exchange for extra pet-parent duty. 

I kept my solo trip hush-hush from mostly everyone until a few weeks out from my departure. (Ironically enough, when you talk about wanting to do a solo trip, others ask if they can come with you, and I wanted to avoid the awkwardness of telling them no.) Eventually I started telling others — and reminding myself — of the longtime wish I was about to fulfill. 

Then, unexpected turbulence hit. The most common response I got from people wasn’t in the form of excitement or curiosity, as I expected, but rather: “Your husband isn’t coming with you?” 

At first, I was surprised. I was traveling to a city I had visited a few years before, and I was familiar with the area I was staying in. Plus, even though they spoke English there, I knew a bit of Greek to get by, if need be.

I got this exact reaction not once, but several times. Over and over again, people were stunned to learn I was taking an international trip without my husband by my side. When I told some of my family and friends about my plans, they responded with wide eyes, screaming, “Why?” 

Not everyone responded that way, to be clear. And also: I don’t fully blame those who did. Solo travel has only started to gain popularity in the last decade or so , and just recently, there’s been a notable surge in coupled-up folks traveling without their partner . This isn’t specific to those early on in their relationships, either: The Wall Street Journal reported in January that the largest increase in solo travelers is among retired couples, which gives me hope that the stigma around women traveling alone is changing for future generations to come. 

Social media has undoubtedly helped break stereotypes around solo traveling as a woman. On TikTok, the hashtag #solotravel has accumulated over 900,000 posts to date, filled with tips for first-time solo travelers, where to travel and places that are best to avoid (especially helpful for people of color), and vlogs that gives users a glimpse at what their trip could look like. 

When I first booked my flight and accommodations, I used TikTok to crowdsource what other solo travelers did in Athens. But over time, I started cataloging my own feelings ahead of taking my flight of faith — including my candid feedback to responses I received as a married woman traveling alone to Greece. 

I truly believe that some reactions to my solo trip come from a place of genuine concern, but others felt judgmental. I respect couples who share every experience with each other, but that’s just not how my marriage functions.

My husband and I have both our own and shared interests; we enjoy spending time together and on our own; and, speaking on behalf of both of us, we are two individuals who choose to be together not out of need, but out of want. 

I respect couples who share every experience with each other, but that’s just not how my marriage functions.

As I say in my TikTok video, "We have an amazing marriage, we trust each other, we do our own thing, we do a lot together, and I just find those comments funny because I would be going on my own if I wasn't married. Why does being married always make a difference?"

And so, I went on my five-day solo excursion to Athens, without a care of what others thought. I chose where I went, when I napped, when I ate. I got tipsy while I dined by myself and gazed at the Parthenon. I met other women, many married, who were veteran solo travelers. I got to know my distant relatives over a three-hour dinner of pastitsio, octopus and lamb. And of course, I thoughtfully picked out a mati to bring home to my husband. 

When I got home, I gifted him the bright blue evil eye attached to a black rope, which intentionally matched my own. He cracked a smile as he pulled it over his hand, and we tightened the ends to fit his wrist. Sometimes, I hold mine out near his, imagining the bracelets have some superpower when joined together. And then I remind myself that they do.

Nicoletta Richardson is the trending editor for TODAY Digital and is based around the New York City area.

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Married Men Are Revealing The "Hardest Parts" Of Marriage That No One Talks About

"Marriage is flat-out determined work every day; you must keep at it and not give up. I loved my wife; some days, I'm sure she wanted to kill me, but she still loved me. But to make it work for us for the 38 years we were together, it was truly day-by-day solid effort every day."

BuzzFeed Staff

We recently asked married men of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the hardest parts of marriage that no one talks about. Here's what they had to say:

1. "twenty-five years married here. the person you marry is going to change in each season of life, and you have to abandon your own selfishness and put in an effort to fall in love with them anew each time...and to help them find new ways to fall in love with you as you change, too. it's super hard because you're going to miss the person they used to be (before kids, before menopause, etc.), but if you put in the work and keep an open mind, you'll probably like the new them a lot, too.".

2. "Remember the wonderful times because they're precious if you lose your spouse. But truth? Marriage is flat-out determined work every day; you must keep at it and not give up, only thinking about yourself. I loved my wife; some days, I'm sure she wanted to kill me, but she still loved me — only married people will understand that. But to make it work for us for the 38 years we were together, it was truly day-by-day solid effort every day."

— quizzycat72

3. "The hardest thing for me has been lack of time for myself. I'm an introvert and need time to regroup and reenergize after spending the work day around people. As we've had kids, that free time has become less and less, as we have to run to sports practices, deal with school, go to things for my wife's job, etc."

"Every once in a while, I'll get to travel for work, which turns into a much-needed time of decompression. I find moments for myself when I'm home, but they aren't much. As a dad and husband, I try to be as present as possible around my family, even if it further drains me. "

— robert_dunder

4. "Twenty-one years married. The cornerstones of our marriage are communication and honesty. Communication is tough because sometimes it's hard to articulate what you mean or to be patient with trying to express yourself and to understand what your partner is trying to tell you."

" Honesty is more than not lying to your partner. It's being honest with yourself, to accept when it's your fault, or when that little thing you said doesn't bother you is going to grow into a major issue."

— moncynnes

5. "I got married at 18 to my 26-year-old wife (we're now 21 and 29). Don't get me wrong, getting married was my best decision, but there are always setbacks. We've already settled into the 'old couple' phase, where we bicker, complain, and swear at each other about little stuff, like where my wife put her shoes. Spouses will ALWAYS find a way to get on your nerves; you'll find plenty of moments where you want to take a vacation from your spouse just to have time to yourself. You'll have plenty of arguments and disagreements, but the most important thing to know is that there's a difference between PERFECT and HEALTHY in any relationship."

"There are times when I'm seething with her, but there are even more times I look at her in awe that I was ever lucky enough to find a woman who loves me unconditionally, forever and always. We tied the knot merely seven months after we met because we knew from the start that we belonged together — it's sure not a walk in the park, but that's love. "

— jasonalcon23

6. "The hardest part by far is in-laws. I have been married twice, and both times my in-laws were insufferable. For the first time, the mom-in-law thought her daughters were the most talented and beautiful women on earth and could have done better than me. Unfortunately, the daughter (my wife) thought she would get by on her looks and, therefore, couldn't hold a job. She cheated on me and her second husband. With my second wife, it was the father-in-law."

"He told his daughter she was the smartest woman alive. She was smart in some ways but dumb as a box of rocks with common sense. We divorced because my job required that I travel, and she realized marriage wasn't all it was cracked up to be, and she liked being on her own better. She didn't want a divorce; she just wanted me to move out and keep paying all the bills. Needless to say, that was NO from me."

7. "Honestly, it's the absence of a definitive model of what constitutes a 'good husband.' Instead, those of us who desire to be good spouses, parents, and partners are on this endless treadmill, chasing a moving and invisible target because our society values wealth, fame, and athletics, and not character. I'm exhausted."

—43, Minnesota

8. "When after 25 years of marriage, you look at your life and realize you should have taken more time to pick the right person."

"My wife focuses on our adult children, I'm always last and doing mostly everything alone. This is not what I had expected."

—50, Canada

9. "A major challenge I've faced is navigating the complexities of intimacy and vulnerability in a long-term relationship. This isn't the typical story of a stoic man who holds his emotions until he is numb; instead, it is deeply wanting a connection with my wife but finding real challenges in having it reciprocated fully. First, there is the common challenge of a lack of physical intimacy in a long-term relationship. In the first few years, everything was great, but then my wife's libido faded, and that created real emotional pain in me. Physical intimacy, not just intercourse but all of its many forms, is really about making an emotional connection. It's about sharing something special with the love of your life that is unique between us and no one else. It's a way to express love, and it's a way to know that I am loved. Without it, life is anemic — a grind that funnels me to the classic stoic archetype that I never wanted to embody."

"Second, there is the issue of vulnerability. In previous long-term relationships and in my marriage, the idea of masculinity was always this balancing act to navigate with my partners. My wife wanted me to be vulnerable, but not too vulnerable. To be confident, but not too confident. Not falling into this undefined and narrow Goldilocks zone of desirable masculinity was, at times, frustrating and exhausting. It also played into the first point above about intimacy. Finding one outside of that desired zone would make intimacy even more remote. The end result is that marriage feels like an endeavor — one that can be frustratingly opaque in terms of how to live in happiness with your partner. That tension creates a painful and tragic longing for being able to just be. To be vulnerable, to express love, to be loved, and to feel like I stand on solid ground in who I am as a man and husband."

—52, Vermont

10. "Not being their child's father. Supporting my spouse's friends and families — including other parent's families — and not being appreciated for anything and feeling like the elephant in the room at every family event."

—62, New Jersey

11. "The hardest thing about being married and a father is the weight of always having to be 'strong' and 'steady.' You don't realize how everyone in your family will always look to you to be the rock for them and always to be dependable. My wife gets tired of her job; she quits because she knows I will keep mine. The kids need someone to fix a thing; you fix it. It doesn't matter if you worked all day and are sick and hungry. Their needs always come first. If your wife needs to vent about her day, friends, or kids or just needs to have a good cry, you listen. They expect you to carry on for them always."

"You don't get sick, you don't get tired, you never need to vent or be vulnerable, you don't have hobbies, and you don't take risks related to your job. I love my family, and they are my greatest pride and joy, but the weight can be a lot. I was about five years into my marriage when I realized my family would rather see me die on my white horse than dismount willingly. "

—Anonymous, Florida

12. "The hardest part of marriage has been learning when to listen. It's easy to say you are listening just because you hear an audible noise and let your spouse say their piece, maybe even without interruption. The hard part is knowing when to lay your position down and actually listening to what they are saying without circling it back to you, especially when you think you have a point to prove."

"This can be very challenging. Success can be found when you learn how to take turns talking and listening."

—36, Indiana

13. "It took getting married for me to realize that marriage was not the answer to all of my relational needs. I think people also need a strong sense of community and deep, lasting friendships to thrive. My wife is a homebody, and I like to go out and be active. I'm not sure that building our entire lives around one relationship is the best way to happiness and fulfillment. We have been married 15 years, and we make it work, but sometimes it's hard when we want different things."

—42, California

14. "I married young and didn't fully understand the commitment I was making. I've been married for 17 years now, and I still continue to learn new things daily."

—38, Nebraska

15. "Feeling like once your kids get to their teens, you're always making a parenting mistake, and your kids make you feel unloved when you try to parent."

—53, South Dakota

16. "Seeing the one you love the most go through some repercussions of the actions made by others. My wife is constantly having negative self-talk because her parents raised her to believe that she would be worthless if she didn't acquiesce to their standards. What makes it hard is knowing that there isn't an exact number of compliments, gifts, acts of service, or affirmations that will ever convince her that they were wrong."

And finally..., 17. "1) i've been married for 32 years. one thing i've passed on to my now-adult children (in their early 20s) is that when you marry someone, you're not just marrying them but their family. make sure it's a family you'll be ok with having as a part of your life.".

"2) The times when your partner will need your love (or you will need theirs) are often when you least want to give it because you are mad or upset with one another. Long-term relationships are a lot like tuning a radio: when your frequencies match, it's clear and wonderful, but when they are out of sync, there's a lot of static. You have to work at getting back in tune."

—Anonymous, USA

Men, what are some other "hard parts" of marriage that no one talks about? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.

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My wife and I decided to get married in 1995, but we couldn't reap all the financial benefits of marriage for 20 more years

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• When my California marriage to my wife became legal federally in 2015, we could finally file taxes jointly.
• Marriage has allowed us to share health insurance benefits.
• The legal right to marry guarantees our spousal property rights and makes me feel financially secure.

It's been almost 10 years since the federal government legally recognized my marriage, and it's easy to become complacent and forget what life was like before.

Still, it's important to remember all I've gained. In 2022, the conservative majority on the Supreme Court signaled its willingness to take away the right for same-sex couples to marry . Here are just a few of the many financial advantages of being married that are still at stake.

Filing a joint tax return

From when my partner and I decided to get "married" in 1995 — we jumped over a broom because we had no way to legally marry at that time — checking the box for "single" on tax returns felt like a demeaning lie, but we had no choice because the government didn't recognize our marriage.

Then, in 2008, the California Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage, and we were legally married in our home state. But we still had a long way to go.

Prop 8 passed in November 2008, making same-sex marriage once again illegal in California. Our tax returns got really complicated. We could file jointly in California, but the federal government still considered us single, so our tax preparer had to reconcile the numbers between our two returns, costing us extra money in tax prep.

In 2015, the U.S. Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage nationally, and that's when my wife and I started to truly reap the benefits of marriage.

Most married couples save money filing taxes jointly , and that's certainly been true for my wife and me. We saved on taxes when she returned to school while I was working. We saved when I made a career change, and my earnings dipped for a while.

Best of all, we can check the "married" box on our tax returns and every other form.

Pre-tax insurance

I currently get my health insurance through my wife's work, and the amount is taken out before tax. That means she doesn't pay income tax on the cost of my health insurance, saving us the taxes on about $12,000 a year.

Before we were legally married, my wife had health insurance through her job, but she wasn't able to add me to the policy. The insurer could choose whether to recognize same-sex spouses, and it chose not to. I couldn't afford insurance at that time, so I was uninsured. By the time she quit her job to go to grad school, I could put her on my work insurance, but I had to pay income tax on the cost, because the federal government didn't yet recognize our marriage.

Being able to share coverage benefits our physical and financial health.

Owning property together

When we bought our condo in 2004, we weren't legally married, so we couldn't just let the title company take care of the deed. We had to consult an attorney to make sure our ownership interests were described in a way that gave us rights as close to spouses as possible, an extra expense married couples don't incur. Now, our deed reflects our status as a married couple.

California is a community property state, so property acquired during marriage is assumed to belong equally to both spouses. That includes more than real estate. I worked for an attorney who helped gay couples with estate planning and probate before marriage equality, and we occasionally had homophobic families sweep in and take all the belongings from an apartment after one member of the couple died. Without a will , which many people don't have, the surviving partner had no rights to the possessions in his own home. Now, marriage protects our rights to our joint property.

Freedom from financial fear

After the decision to legalize same-sex marriage in 2015, I felt like a full citizen for the first time. I didn't recognize the base level of financial insecurity I had lived with until it was gone.

I relish the opportunity to lead an average and slightly boring life regardless of whom I married. And I will continue to reap the financial rewards of being married in the future, including spousal retirement benefits from Social Security and my wife's pension.

But if our rights and recognition of our marriage are threatened, I will be on the frontlines again, fighting back.

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Hillary Clinton to release essay collection about personal and public life

This cover image released by Simon & Schuster shows “Something Lost, Something Gained: Reflections on Life, Love and Liberty” by Hillary Rodham Clinton. The book will be released Sept. 17. (Simon & Schuster via AP)

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Hillary Clinton’s next book is a collection of essays, touching upon everything from marriage to politics to faith, that her publisher is calling her most personal yet.

Simon and Schuster announced Tuesday that Clinton’s “Something Lost, Something Gained: Reflections on Life, Love and Liberty” will be released Sept. 17.

Among the topics she will cover: Her marriage to former President Bill Clinton, her Methodist faith, adjusting to private life after her failed presidential runs, her friendships with other first ladies and her takes on climate change, democracy and Vladimir Putin.

“The book reads like you’re sitting down with your smartest, funniest, most passionate friend over a long meal,” Clinton’s editor, Priscilla Painton, said in a statement.

“This is the Hillary Americans have come to know and love: candid, engaged, humorous, self-deprecating — and always learning.”

Clinton, the former first lady, U.S. senator and secretary and presidential candidate, will promote her book with a cross country tour. “Something Lost, Something Gained” comes out two months before Bill Clinton’s memoir about post-presidential life, “Citizen.”

Financial terms were not disclosed. Clinton was represented by Washington attorney Robert Barnett, whose other clients have included former President George W. Bush and former President Barack Obama.

Clinton’s previous books include such bestsellers as “It Takes a Village,” “Living History” and “What Happened.”

The Future of Marriage Essay

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Marriage is an important stage in the personal life which is discussed in many cultures as a kind of the rite of passage. From this point, persons become ready to create a family when they are mature enough to take responsibility for their family and build strong relations with their partner.

Several decades ago, the family was discussed as the main social institution because society traditionally consisted of many families. Thus, marriage can be presented as the most traditional way to create a family and take a definite position within society. Nevertheless, the future of marriage and its significance for modern people is a debatable issue.

Although today marriage is still a significant stage in the personal life and family is discussed as the fundamental factor for the social development, the role of marriage declines, the rate of divorces increases, and the marriage is often perceived as an insignificant factor to live a vivid and full life.

To understand the future of marriage, it is important to refer to the main reasons for getting married. Americans are inclined to concentrate on the role of tradition, love, definite social and material benefits, and satisfaction of psychological and sexual needs as the major reasons to marry. However, to achieve the mentioned goals and satisfy needs, it is unnecessary to be married.

The position is actively discussed in modern society where the popularity of marriages decreases because of the people’s concentration on their own life and personal and professional development. Today, the family cannot be discussed as the persons’ primary goal.

Emphasizing the fact that marriage is not important for people today and that the tendency can develop, researchers, refer to statistics and divorce rates. Thus, the percentage of adults who are currently divorced, “which was only 1.8 percent for males and 2.6 percent for females in 1960, quadrupled by the year 2000”, moreover, “the percentage of divorce is higher for females than for males primarily because divorced men are more likely to remarry than divorced women.”

From this point, it is possible to speak about the tendency to choose the independent life without the responsibilities of a husband or wife. Moreover, “the national divorce rate is close to 50% of all marriages.” However, it is important to focus on the problem and discuss it from the other perspective. Thus, “for many people, the actual chances of divorce are far below 50/50.”

In spite of the fact the general rate of marriages declines, it is still high in comparison with the rate of divorces. That is why it is impossible to state that the low rate of marriages and the high rate of divorces can affect the Americans and their visions of marriage’s role significantly. Modern people can reject the importance of marriage, but it is rather problematic to change the public’s vision of the traditional family based on marriage in some years because it is a long and challenging process.

People continue to find a kind of security in the traditional form of relations which has deep historic roots. However, it is important to note that the correlation of reasons for getting married changes with references to the development of the persons’ social needs and different global cultural tendencies. According to the latest statistical data, modern young Americans are inclined to choose the partner about his or her social and economic status.

The factor of finances is important today, especially while paying attention to the modern contracts used to regulate marriages. Thus, many people choose marriage because of definite economic benefits. People can marry to improve their social state or gain a higher social status with the help of a spouse. It is possible to consider that future marriages will be more similar to business than to romance.

Marriage lost its legal and social status because those couples who seek for the successful partnership and psychological comfort are inclined to choose relations free from any contracts and duties. From this point, to choose marriage is to choose social security and the public’s approval. However, following the progressive and popular trends, young people choose their private independence.

Modern women are often financially independent and do not discuss marriage as a way to improve their financial and social state. Men choose to marry when they seek for stability and understanding typical for the family relations. The decision-making process which is usual for business operations is performed by many young people today when they choose to marriage or not.

They assess all the possible advantages and disadvantages of marriages. Today, the idea of marriage often depends more on the economic benefits and less on the romantic aspects. Modern representatives of American society choose to get married because they assess all the psychological, emotional, sexual, and social benefits of the process. That is why the future of marriage as a significant stage in personal life is not clear.

Works Cited

Barnet, Sylvan, and Hugo Bedau. Current Issues and Enduring Questions: A Guide to Critical Thinking and Argument with Readings . USA: Bedford/St. Martin’s, 2010. Print.

Medved, Diane. Case against Divorce . USA: Random House Publishing Group, 1990. Print.

Popenoe, David and Barbara Whitehead. “The State of Our Unions”. Research and Composition in the Disciplines . Ed. Laurence Behrens and Leonard Rosen. USA: Pearson, 2011. 390-402. Print.

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IvyPanda. (2020, March 11). The Future of Marriage. https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-future-of-marriage/

"The Future of Marriage." IvyPanda , 11 Mar. 2020, ivypanda.com/essays/the-future-of-marriage/.

IvyPanda . (2020) 'The Future of Marriage'. 11 March.

IvyPanda . 2020. "The Future of Marriage." March 11, 2020. https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-future-of-marriage/.

1. IvyPanda . "The Future of Marriage." March 11, 2020. https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-future-of-marriage/.

Bibliography

IvyPanda . "The Future of Marriage." March 11, 2020. https://ivypanda.com/essays/the-future-of-marriage/.

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Abortion Debate Shifts as Election Nears: ‘Now It’s About Pregnancy’

Two years after Roe was struck down, the conversation has focused on the complications that can come with pregnancy and fertility, helping to drive more support for abortion rights.

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By Kate Zernike

In the decades that Roe v. Wade was the law of the land, abortion rights groups tried to shore up support for it by declaring “Abortion Is Health Care.”

Only now, two years after the Supreme Court eliminated the constitutional right to abortion, and just six months before the presidential election, has the slogan taken on the force of reality.

The public conversation about abortion has grown into one about the complexities of pregnancy and reproduction, as the consequences of bans have played out in the news. The question is no longer just whether you can get an abortion, but also, Can you get one if pregnancy complications put you in septic shock? Can you find an obstetrician when so many are leaving states with bans? If you miscarry, will the hospital send you home to bleed? Can you and your partner do in vitro fertilization?

That shift helps explain why a record percentage of Americans are now declaring themselves single-issue voters on abortion rights — especially among Black voters, Democrats, women and those ages 18 to 29 . Republican women are increasingly saying their party’s opposition to abortion is too extreme, and Democrats are running on the issue after years of running away from it.

“When the Dobbs case came down, I told my friends — somewhat but not entirely in jest — that America was about to be exposed to a lengthy seminar on obstetrics,” said Elaine Kamarck, a fellow at the Brookings Institution, referring to the Supreme Court decision that overturned Roe v. Wade.

Abortion opponents say that stories about women facing medical complications are overblown and that women who truly need abortions for medical reasons have been able to get them under exceptions to the bans.

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