she doesn't her homework

Homework doesn't align with our family values. Here's how I explain that to teachers and my kids.

I think there are more meaningful ways to spend the after school hours.
I typically tell teachers that our family won't be completing homework.
Sometimes, my fourth grader still wants to do the assignments.

Despite my best efforts to avoid over-scheduling my family, our weekday calendars are full. My daughters, in kindergarten and fourth grade, do horse riding , swim lessons , and soccer. I have powerlifting two evenings a week. As we run out the door to those activities, our dog looks at us longingly with his leash in his mouth, so we try to squeeze in walks with him.

All of that leaves very little time for homework . This is why I've decided that in our family, homework is strictly optional and sometimes downright discouraged.

The hours between after school and bedtime are so limited. My girls get home at about 3:45 p.m. and are off to bed by 6:30 p.m. Factor in dinner time, I have only two hours to offer them the after-school enrichment that most aligns with our family values.

Homework simply doesn't make the cut.

My daughter is supposed to do about 40 minutes of homework each night

It's important to acknowledge that my district doesn't give much homework in elementary school. My fourth grader is expected to do 20 minutes of reading and 10 minutes each for math facts and penmanship. Gone are the endless worksheets that I remember from school.

And yet, 40 minutes is a huge chunk of our afternoons together. Reading, math, and penmanship are important, but practicing them happens organically throughout our day — when we talk about money skills together or pen a letter to their grandparents.

Rather than sitting down at a desk for 40 minutes, I'd prefer my girls gain confidence and safety skills in the water, contribute to their community by doing barn chores, or just be silly outside in the fresh air.

I sent teachers an email saying we wouldn't be doing homework

I spoke to my daughter's teachers about homework in second grade when I first felt the pressure to choose between homework, after-school activities, and getting the kids to get on time.

I kept it straightforward and sent the teacher an email: "Our schedules make homework challenging, so my daughter will not be completing the weekly assignments. We'll continue to practice math and reading at home. Please let me know if you have any concerns about this now or in the future."

Neither that teacher nor the one after had any worries. I got the impression that their beliefs aligned with mine: there were many ways to learn in the afternoons, and not all of them were academic. As long as the lack of homework wasn't impacting my daughter in the classroom, skipping it was ok.

This year, we're doing more homework than ever before

This year, my approach to homework has been challenged, and I've been reminded that nothing is black and white. My kindergartener is in speech therapy and regularly has "homework" assignments from her therapist. Those go to the top of our priority list — not only does she love doing the exercises, but there's a clear benefit that we can hear with our own ears.

More surprisingly, my fourth grader has decided she's devoted to homework. Just like I was, she's a bit of a teacher's pet and gets genuine satisfaction from the check mark she receives on each assignment. I have no problem with her doing her homework for fun, as long as it's not coming at the expense of more important things, like sleep, outdoor time, and hobbies.

Recently she explained she was going to wake up extra early to complete her reading assignment for the day. I just raised an eyebrow and said, "You know you really don't have to do that, right?"

I'm not sure how we'll handle homework as she moves into middle, then high school. For now, we're taking a laid-back approach.

Homework doesn't align with our family values. Here's how I explain that to teachers and my kids.

What to Do When Teens Refuse to Do Homework or Fail a Class

Some teens are naturally motivated and others are not. Some teens are able to succeed at school with ease, and others struggle. But, what is a parent to do when their teen simply refuses to do homework or is suddenly failing a class? Experts recommend parents work to discover the root cause and creatively problem solve with their teen.

Most of the time, parents feel a little shocked when they are confronted with a school problem. Maybe your teen has outright refused to do any work, or maybe you received a notice from the teacher, or maybe you got a disappointing surprise on their interim report. Whatever has brought the problem to your attention, it’s important to take a deep breath and work to understand the issue. The first step is to ask your teen what is going on. Notice the word ask. That means you don’t start the conversation with accusations, yelling, blame, or threats. Instead, enter into the conversation with a sense of curiosity to see if you can help uncover the possible reasons why he or she isn’t getting their homework done or passing the class.

Determine the Root Cause

If your teen refuses to do homework or is failing a class, don’t jump to the conclusion that he is simply acting out of defiance. More than likely, there is some underlying problem(s) contributing to the issue. For example, stress, bullying issues at school, classes that are too advanced, test-taking anxiety, too many absences, learning disabilities, and depression are all possible problems that can contribute to behavior changes. Remember that when high school students fall behind in their classes for any reason (absence, material too difficult, bad test-taking day), catching up can be quite difficult. When grades begin to plummet, many teens give up. Talk to them about their struggles. Ask them: “How is your current situation different from how you would like it to be?”

Separately, parents should talk to the teen’s teacher to obtain their thoughts and perspectives. Again, parents should enter such a conversation with an open mind and a willingness to listen to the teacher’s opinion.

Develop Solutions with Your Teen

Once parents feel like they understand the problem, they should sit down with their teenager and brainstorm a list of possible solutions to the given situation. They can ask their son or daughter what they have already tried before (whether it’s in this situation or in similar situations in the past), and what outcomes they experienced. Ask them to predict likely consequences, both positive and negative, for each possibility. Teens should be encouraged to not limit themselves, but to come up with as many options as possible, even if they seem unrealistic, because this creative process may help generate even better solutions. Once you have made a list of options together, help your teen narrow them down. For each option, consider how realistic it is, how likely the teen would be to implement it, and the potential obstacles.

Sometimes, homework or grade battles simply need a creative solution. For example, some teens are willing to stay after school to complete their homework, so long as they don’t have to do work at home. Other teens need some control over when they are going to do their work, so they may need to unwind for an hour after school and then do their work. Teens who are failing due to a learning disability or missed schoolwork, might be willing to work with a tutor. Parents should offer their own ideas, but MUST be willing to try their teen’s suggestions and ideas. The process of identifying the problem and developing the solution will empower your child, give them a sense of ownership in fixing the problem, and will ultimately give them confidence when they overcome the issue.

Additionally, parents should help their teen establish healthy study habits that will allow him/her to be successful. Some good study habits include: creating a designated homework time and space, removing distractions including electronics, being available to help your teen when they have a problem or get frustrated, teaching them time management skills, and helping them to get organized. You can learn more from our previous blog, Good Study Habits in Teens .

Establish Expectations and Rules

In general, parents should establish rules and expectations about homework based on their individual child. For example, if you have a teen who is fairly responsible with his homework most of the time, it may be appropriate to allow him/her to face the natural consequences of a bad grade or detention when he/she doesn’t do their work.

However, if you have a child who is refusing to do homework or is failing, and you’ve done the previous steps to try to find the problem and have discovered there is no underlying problem, then rules are warranted. Establish appropriate expectations, and more importantly, develop rewards for following them and consequences for not. Then you must follow through on your plan. For example, create small measurable goals. If your teen puts in a lot of effort for 30 minutes, then he gets a 10-minute break. Or consequently, confiscate his electronics each day until he completes his homework. Phones, tablets and other electronics are a privilege, and he cannot earn them if he chooses to not do his work.

Final Thoughts…

Experts say that the best thing parents can do when faced with school problem is stay calm and open-minded. Nagging and lecturing – although tempting parenting techniques – are never effective and usually harm your relationship. Bribing your teen to get work done can sometimes work in the short run, but quickly loses its appeal to your child and can actually instill a “what’s in it for me” attitude. Additionally, threatening a consequence that you will never follow-through on will only reinforce the negative behavior. Instead, follow the tips above to discover the problem and creatively solve it with your teen. Not only will it truly address the problem, it will also teach your teen how to address future challenges.

“My Child Refuses to Do Homework” — How to Stop the Nightly Struggle Over Schoolwork

By janet lehman, msw.

For many parents, getting their kids to do their homework is a nightly struggle. Some kids refuse to do their homework. Others claim that they don’t have homework, but then the report card comes out, and you realize that their work was not being done.

So why is homework time so difficult? In my opinion, one of the major reasons is that it’s hard for kids to focus at home. Look at it this way: when your child is in school, they’re in a classroom where there aren’t a lot of distractions. The learning is structured and organized, and all the students are focusing on the same thing.

But when your child comes home, their brain clicks over to “free time” mode. In their mind, home is a place to relax, have a snack, listen to music, and play video games. Kids simply don’t view the home as the place to do schoolwork.

If the homework struggles you experience are part of a larger pattern of acting out behavior, then the child is resisting to get power over you. They intend to do what they want to do when they want to do it, and homework just becomes another battlefield. And, as on any other battlefield, parents can use tactics that succeed or tactics that fail.

Regardless of why your child won’t do their homework, know that fighting over it is a losing proposition for both of you. You will end up frustrated, angry, and exhausted, and your child will have found yet another way to push your buttons. And, even worse, they will wind up hating school and hating learning.

A major part of getting your child to do their homework lies in establishing a system so that your child comes to see that homework is just a regular part of home life. Once they accept that, you’ve already won half the battle. Accordingly, my first few tips are around setting up this system. If you get the system right, things tend to fall into place.

Put this system in place with your child at a time when things are calm and going well rather than during the heat of an argument. Tell your child that you’re going to try something different starting next week with homework that will make it go better for everyone. Then explain the system.

You’ll find that this system will make your life easier as a parent, will make you more effective as a parent, and will help your child to get the work done. And when your child gets their work done, they’re more likely to succeed, and nothing drives motivation more than success.

Structure the Evening for Homework

When your kids come home, there should be a structure and a schedule set up each night. I recommend that you write this up and post it on the refrigerator or in some central location in the house. Kids need to know that there is a time to eat, a time to do homework, and also that there is free time. And remember, free time starts after homework is done.

Homework time should be a quiet time in your whole house. Siblings shouldn’t be in the next room watching TV or playing video games. The whole idea is to eliminate distractions. The message to your child is, “You’re not going to do anything anyway, so you might as well do your homework.”

Even if your child doesn’t have homework some nights, homework time should still mean no phone and no electronics. Instead, your child can read a book or a magazine in their room or work on longer-term assignments. Consistently adhering to the homework time structure is important to instill the homework habit.

Start the Evening Homework Habit When Your Kids are Young

If your children are younger and they don’t get homework yet, set aside quiet time each evening where your child can read or do some type of learning. Doing so will help children understand that evening quiet and study time is a part of everyday home life, just like chores. This habit will pay off when the real homework begins.

Use a Public Place for Homework

For a lot of kids, sending them to their rooms to do their homework is a mistake. Many children need your presence to stay focused and disciplined. And they need to be away from the stuff in their rooms that can distract them.

You know your child best. If you think they’re not being productive in their room, then insist they work at the kitchen table or in some other room where you can monitor them and where there will be fewer distractions.

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If they do homework in their room, the door to the room should be open, and you should check in from time to time. No text messaging, no fooling around. Take the phone and laptop away and eliminate electronics from the room during study time. In short, you want to get rid of all the temptations and distractions.

Give Breaks During Homework Time

Many kids get tired halfway through homework time, and that’s when they start acting up. If your child is doing an hour of homework, have them take a 5-minute break every half-hour so that they can get up, have a snack, and stretch their legs. But don’t allow electronics during the break—electronics are just too distracting.

Monitor the break and ensure that your child gets back to work promptly.

Be sure to encourage your child when they’re discouraged. It’s okay to say things like:

“I know it’s a drag, but think of this—when you get your work done, the rest of the night is yours.”

“Look, if you do your work all week, you’ll have the whole weekend to do what you want.”

Show your child empathy—how many of us truly enjoyed homework every night? It’s work, pure and simple. But your child will be encouraged when they begin to have success with their work.

Help Your Child Get Started With Their Homework

Some kids have a hard time getting assignments started. They may be overwhelmed or unsure where to begin. Or the work may seem too difficult.

There’s a concept I explain in The Total Transformation® child behavior program called hurdle help . If you have a child who has a hard time getting started, spend the first five minutes with them to get them over the first couple of hurdles. Perhaps help them with the first math problem or make sure they understand the assignment.

For many kids who are slow starters, hurdle help is very effective. This doesn’t mean you are doing their homework for them—this is simply extra help designed to get them going on their own.

Help Your Child Manage Long-Term Assignments

If your child has a big, long-term project, then you want to work with them to estimate how much time it’s going to take. Then your child has to work within that time frame. So if your child has a science project, help them manage and structure their time. For instance, if the project is due in 30 days, ask them:

“How much time are you going to spend on it each night?”

They might say, “15 minutes a night,” and you hold them to that.

Don’t assume that your child knows how to manage their time effectively. As adults, we sometimes take for granted the habits we have spent a lifetime developing and forget that our kids are not there yet.

Make Sunday Night a School Night

The way that I structure the weekend is that Sunday night is a school night, not Friday. So if your child has homework for the weekend, and as long as they’re done all their work for the past week, they get Friday and Saturday night off and can do their homework on Sunday night.

If there’s a project or something big to do over the weekend, then work with your child to budget their time. They may have to put some time in on Saturday or Sunday during the day. But other than that, your child should have the weekend off too, just like adults do.

The Weekend Doesn’t Begin Until Overdue Work Is Done

If your child has overdue homework, their weekend shouldn’t begin until those assignments are done. In other words, Friday night is a homework night if their week’s work is not complete.

Believe me, this is a highly effective consequence for kids because it creates a great incentive to get their work done. Indeed, each minute they’re doing homework is a minute they could be hanging out with friends or playing video games.

If you can hold to this rule once and deal with the complaining, then next week the homework will be done.

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By the way, if they say they can’t do their homework because they didn’t bring their school books home, they should be grounded for the weekend. You can say:

“I don’t want to hear that you can’t do it because you don’t have your books. You’d better call around and find a friend who you can borrow them from. Otherwise, you’ll be staying in this weekend.”

Make Homework a Higher Priority Than Activities

Kids are involved in a lot of after school activities these days. I understand that. But my priority has always been “homework comes first.”

In my opinion, if the homework isn’t done on Monday, then your child shouldn’t go to football on Tuesday. It’s fine if he misses a practice or two. You can say:

“Here’s the deal. We’re not going to football today. You need to get your work done first.”

If your child says, “Well, if I miss a practice, I’m going to get thrown off the team,” You can say:

“Well, then make sure your work is complete. Otherwise, you’re not going to practice. That’s all there is to it.”

I personally don’t put football, soccer, or any other extracurricular activities above homework and home responsibilities. I don’t believe parents should be going from soccer to karate to basketball with their kids while homework and school responsibilities are being neglected.

Use Rewards for Schoolwork, Not Bribes

Most kids get personal satisfaction out of getting good grades and completing their work, and that’s what we’re aiming for. Nevertheless, it’s important to reinforce positive behavior, and that may mean offering an incentive for getting good grades. For instance, my son knew that he would get a certain reward for his performance if he got all B’s or above. The reward was an incentive to do well.

One of the shortcuts we take as parents is to bribe our kids rather than rewarding them for performance. It can be a subtle difference. A reward is something that is given after an achievement. A bribe is something you give your child after negotiating with them over something that is already a responsibility.

If you bribe your child to do their homework or to do anything else that is an expected responsibility, then your child will come to expect something extra just for behaving appropriately. Bribes undermine your parental authority as kids learn that they can get things from you by threatening bad behavior. Bribes put your child in charge of you.

The appropriate parental response to not meeting a responsibility is a consequence, not a bribe. A bribe says, “If you do your homework, I will extend your curfew by an hour.” In contrast, a consequence says, “If you don’t do your homework, you’re grounded until it’s finished.” Never bribe your kids to do what they’re expected to do.

Use Effective Consequences

When giving consequences, be sure they’re effective consequences. What makes an effective consequence? An effective consequence motivates your child to good behavior. They put you back in control and teach your child how to problem-solve, giving your child the skills needed to be successful.

An effective consequence looks like this:

“If you fall below a B average, then you can no longer study in your room and must study at the kitchen table until you get your average back to a B.”

For the child who prefers to study in their room, this is an effective consequence.

Another effective consequence would be the following:

“If you choose not to study during the scheduled time, you will lose your electronics for the night. Tomorrow, you’ll get another chance to use them.”

And the next day, your child gets to try again to earn the privilege of electronics. Short-term consequences like this are very effective. Just don’t take away this privilege for more than a day as your child will have no incentive to do better the next time.

For more on consequences, read the article on how to give effective consequences to your child .

Be Prepared to Let Your Child Fail

Failure should be an option, and sometimes you just have to let your child fail . Parents often do their kids a disservice when they shield them from the consequences of their actions. If your child chooses not to study enough and they get a failing grade, that’s the natural consequence for their behavior. And they should experience the discomfort that results from their behavior.

Let me be clear. If you interfere and try to get your child’s teacher to change their grade, your child will learn the wrong lesson. Your child will learn that if they screw up enough, Mom and Dad will take care of them. And they don’t learn their math or science or whatever it is they failed.

To be sure, failing is a hard lesson, but it’s the right lesson when your child fails. And it’s not the end of the world. In fact, for many kids, it’s what turns them around.

Don’t Fight with Your Child Over Homework

Don’t get sucked into arguments with your child about homework. Make it very clear that if they don’t do their homework, then the next part of their night does not begin. Keep discussions simple. Say to your child:

“Right now is homework time. The sooner you get it done, the sooner you can have free time.”

Say this in a supportive way with a smile on your face. Again, it’s important not to get sucked into fights with your child. Remember, you don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to. If your child refuses to do his or her work, then calmly give the consequence that you established for not doing homework.

Also, trying to convince your child that grades are important is a losing battle. You can’t make your child take school as seriously as you do. The truth is, they don’t typically think that way. To get your child to do homework, focus on their behavior, not their motivation. Rather than giving a lecture, just maintain the system that enables them to get their work done. Often, the motivation comes after the child has had a taste of success, and this system sets them up for that success.

Stay Calm When Helping Your Child With Their Homework

It’s important to be calm when helping your child with their homework. Don’t argue about the right answer for the math problem or the right way to do the geography quiz. If you get frustrated and start yelling and screaming at your child, this sets a negative tone and won’t help them get the work done. It’s better to walk away than it is to engage in an argument, even when you’re just trying to be helpful.

For couples, it may be that one of you is more patient and acceptable to your child. Let that person take on the homework monitoring responsibilities. And don’t take it personally if it isn’t you.

Remember, if you can’t stay calm when helping your child, or if you find that your help is making the situation worse, then it’s better not to help at all. Find someone else or talk to the teacher about how your child can get the help they need. And try not to blame your child for the frustration that you feel.

It’s Your Child’s Homework, Not Yours

Remember that your child is doing the homework as a school assignment. The teacher will ultimately be the judge of how good or bad, correct or incorrect the work is. You’re not responsible for the work itself; your job is to guide your child. You can always make suggestions, but ultimately it’s your child’s job to do their assignments. And it’s the teacher’s job to grade them.

Know the Teachers and the Assignments

Build good relationships with your child’s teachers. Meet with the teachers at the beginning of the school year and stay in touch as the year progresses. Your relationships with your child’s teachers will pay off if your child begins to have problems.

And if your child does have problems, then communicate with their teachers weekly. If they’re not handing in their work on time, ask the teachers to send you any assignments that they didn’t get done each week. Many schools have assignments available online, which is a big help for parents. Just don’t rely on your child to give you accurate information. Find out for yourself.

The bottom line is that you want to hold your child accountable for doing their work, and you can only do that if you know what the work is. If you keep yourself informed, then you won’t be surprised when report cards come out.

Work with your child on a system to keep track of assignments. I recommend an old-fashioned paper calendar simply because we already have too many distracting electronics in our lives—experiment and use what works best for your child.

Finally, try to see your child’s teachers as your allies. In my experience, most teachers are dedicated and caring, but I realize that this isn’t always the case. So, for your child’s sake, do your best to find a way to work with their teachers.

If You Think Your Child Might Have a Learning Disability

Kids are expected to do some difficult work, and your child may struggle. If your child is having an especially hard time, talk with their teacher. Ask if it’s typical for your child to be struggling in this area.

In some cases, the teacher may recommend testing to see if your child has a learning disability. While this can be hard to hear as a parent, it’s important to find out so that you can make the necessary adjustments.

If it turns out that your child does have a learning disability, then you want to get an Individualized Educational Plan (IEP) set up with the school.

Most kids don’t enjoy homework, and for some, it will always be a struggle. Our children all have different strengths and abilities, and while some may never be excellent students, they might be great workers, talented artists, or thoughtful builders.

I have to admit that dealing with my son’s homework was one of my least favorite experiences as a parent. It was overwhelming at times. Often, I just wasn’t equipped to offer the help he needed.

Our son struggled with a learning disability, which made the work feel unending at times. My husband James was much better at helping him, so he took on this responsibility. But even with this division of labor, we had to make adjustments to our schedules, our lives, and our expectations to make sure our son did his homework as expected.

Life would be easier if all children were self-motivated students who came home, sat down, and dug into their homework without being asked. This is hardly the case, though. Therefore, you need to set up a system that is right for your child, and it’s going to be easier for some kids than for others.

We’re trying to raise our kids to be responsible and accountable for their homework. And we’re trying to avoid fighting with them over it every night. When I had parents in my office, I would take these concepts and show them how they could make it work for their families in their own homes. The families I worked with were able to turn the nightly homework struggle around successfully time and time again.

Related content: The Homework Battle: How to Get Children to Do Homework

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About Janet Lehman, MSW

Janet Lehman, MSW, has worked with troubled children and teens for over 30 years. A veteran social worker, she specializes in child behavior issues — ranging from anger management and oppositional defiance to more serious criminal behavior in teens. She is co-creator of The Total Transformation® Program , The Complete Guide To Consequences™ , Getting Through To Your Child™ , and Two Parents One Plan™ .

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Hello, my grandson recently moved with me from another state. He is currently in 8th grade (but should be in 9th). He basically failed the last 2 years and was promoted. I would say he is at a 6th grade level. It's a daily fight with him to do his homework. He won't even try. I know a lot of this is because no one has ever made him do his homework before. I thought he would just have to get in a routine of doing it. He's been in school for a month now and its a fight every single day after school. I have lost all the patience I had. I am tired of being a broken record and being the "bad guy". I don't want to give up on him and send him back to his mom, where I know he will never graduate. I have made so many sacrifices to get him here, but I am literally at my wits end with this. I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I didn't think it was going to be this hard.

My rule is homework after school. If he comes home and does his homework after school, it was easier for him to complete. That lasted a week and a half. Now, he just sits there and does nothing. Does anyone have any suggestions? I couldn't live with myself if I sent him back and he became nothing but a drop out. I know I am not one to have patience, and I am trying but at the same time, I am almost over it. I don't like going to bed crying and knowing that he is crying too. I am open to all suggestions. Please and thank you.

I'm so sorry you are facing these struggles with your grandson. We here from many caregivers in similar situations, so you're not alone in your frustration. We have several articles that offer helpful tips for managing these homework struggles, which can be found here: https://www.empoweringparents.com/article-categories/child-behavior-problems/school-homework/

We appreciate you reaching out and wish you all the best moving forward. Be sure to check back and let us know how things are going.

Jessicar Thank you for this article and strategies. I echo many of the frustrations expressed by other parents here, including my opinion (as an educator) that homework should not exist. I agree that teachers and parents are in a struggle about which adult is responsible for supporting the child in getting More homework done. The best thing for my son was a free "homework club" in fourth and fifth grade where a teacher monitored completion of homework. He has nothing like this in middle school so far. Where I really disagree with the article is about extracurricular activities. Kids need physical activity through sports! They need enrichment beyond academics through the arts, theater, music. Many families send their children to religious, language, and/or cultural programs after school. If I sat in school all day, I'd want to move my body and interact with others too. The solution is not removing extracurricular activities that are healthy or motivating or valued. The solution is for schools to limit homework. Given that there is still homework as a reality--I'd like advice on when to have child do homework AFTER sports or extracurricular activity. When is the best time for homework if the goal is to go to bed on time (in my house in bed around 9 pm)? Between extracurricular and dinner--when the kid is tired? After dinner? My child is in 7th grade and I still can't figure it out. What do others do/think?

I found school to be extremely boring, as a teen. Looking back I realize that I hadn't found the work challenging enough. Personally, I struggled with this all through high school. I was completely disinterested in school, as a result.

I noticed that there wasn't a section addressing situations where children, who are motivated by challenges, do poorly as a result of boredom.

I enjoy reading many of the articles; even those which don't necessarily apply to my current situations with my child. One never knows what obstacles or challenges one may come across. Thank you

Here's what I know. Correcting our children when their behavior is displeasing is what most parents focus on. Without a lot of explanation I'm going to try to get you to change your focus. All children have 4 emotional needs:

1. A sense of belonging

2. A sense of personal power

3. To be heard and understood

4. Limits and boundaries

Rather than focus on your child's behavior, focus on meeting these needs. Meet the needs, change the behavior. There a 25 ways to meet these needs. One of the most effective is to spend regular one-on-one time with your child doing what your child wants to do. How do you spell love? T-I-M-E. It seems counter-intuitive, but just try it for a week. Do this for 1/2 hour every day for a week. See what happens.

Frustrated Confused Parent, I went through similar challenges with my son when he was in high school. As a grade school student his grades were always B and higher. The changes began when his mother and I separated; my son was 12yo. Prior to our separation I was the one who maintained, and enforced the habit of completing his assignments before extracurricular activities could be enjoyed. His mother never felt she had the patience or intelligence to assist him with his homework assignments and upon our separation she completely ignored his school work. Although he continued to follow the structure I had established through grade school, he soon began to realize that no one was showing interest any longer and, thus, began shirking school related responsibilities. My son and I were, and still are, close. I am certain that the separation likely had some affect on him, but it was more than that. He was reaching his teens and becoming more self-aware. Friends began to play a more integral and influential part in his life. Unfortunately my son's grades began slipping as he reached his early teens. For me, this was extremely frustrating since I was aware of how intelligent he was and of what he was capable. After many aggravating, lengthy, heated, and unyielding conversations with his mother about maintaining the structure established through grade school, it became clear she was incapable or simply unwilling. Essentially, he was on his own. Of course I would do whatever I could to help. For starters, I facilitated a transfer to a Charter School, realizing that he needed more individualized attention than that which a public school could provide. It seemed as though he was getting 'lost in the shuffle'.

Unfortunately the damage had already been done. After two years under his mother's lack of tutelage my son had developed some poor habits.

He struggled with maintaining good grades throughout his high school career. By 'maintaining good grades' I mean that he would take a grading of 45 in math and bring it to a 70 within three weeks of the end of a marking period. He ALWAYS passed, though. He would somehow get his grades to or even above passing by the end of the period. As I began to see this, I began to have more faith knowing that when the going got tough he would step up and take charge. It also indicated that he did well with what might perceive as an impossible goal. So, I started to have faith that he'd find his way.

He has since graduated, he has a good-paying job, and he is beginning school to become an electrician within the next month or so. In two weeks he moves into his own apartment, also. He's never done drugs, never drank alcohol, and never started smoking cigarettes. All of which I have done as a teen and well into my adult years. I am in recovery. My son is aware of my own struggles. Most importantly, I believe, is that he has a complete understanding that we all struggle in our own ways. Working through the difficulties, challenges, and obstacles are what makes us stronger and it's our compassion for others, and ourselves, which help us grow into decent adults.

I came to realize that the 'grades' he received in school had nothing to do with the amazing adult he's become; it was literally everything else.

NanaRound2 My 6 year old grandson has just taken 2 hours to write a list and write 3 sentences. He thinks if the words were shorter it wouldn't take so long. Already went through this with his dad. I celebrated more than he did when he graduated. Can't drag More another kid through school. Losing my mind and like the previous comment have tried EVERYTHING.

Yeah -been there, done that. Doesn't work. At least not for my child. I've read every *actual* parenting book out there ( You know, the books publishes by Harvard & Stanford professors who've been studying parenting and child psychology for the past 30 years?) ... and you're all missing something - because I've tried it all.

My kid DGAF. This was almost painful to read. "oh, yup - tried that one. That one too. Oh, hey - I've tried that as well."

This is so frustrating; tell me something I haven't already tried 50 times.

Psych Fan I'm with you my sophomore son DGAF . I tried so much stuff even set time stuff and he just doesn't go get his work out. He's 5'9 so I am 5'1 and I can't move him to do stuff . All he does is debate with me that More Grades really don't matter that he's like I'm just going to get D's because I'm not going to care to do better because I do not like school. He doesn't understand why I don't approve of D grades because I know he has better potential but he's like D grades I will pass and get my diploma .

The first thing on the list is to try and stay calm. While doing homework with my children I'm usually very calm. When I do get frustrated I'll leave the room for a moment, wash my face, and take a few deep breaths until I calm down. Or I'll make hot chocolate to help calm my nerves. It's not a perfect system, but what is?

Number two is to set clear expectations around homework time and responsibilities. We have a standard homework time at our house, with a timer and everything. If our kids meet the homework time goal they'll be rewarded later in the evening with family time. Each of our kids know their roles and responsibilities in the house whether the work gets done before dinner or not.

Number three is a relationship with the teachers, each of whom e-mail us, some two or three times a day. Contact with them has never been better. They're teachers are all pretty awesome too.

Number Four, play the parental role most useful to your child...I have three kids. One needs no help at all, one needs minor help and advisement, while the third requires constant supervision or their e-mail might 'accidentally' open up. This we've provided through double teaming. One parent works with them until the other gets home, then they switch while the other goes to make dinner.

Five, keep activities similar with all your kids. We all live on the same schedule, if one of them finishes homework early they get the reward of extra quiet reading time-my kids are ALL book worms.

Six, Set up a structured time and place for homework. Done. Homework table with a supplies basket right in the middle of the room. Big enough for all of them to work at and then some, it's an octagonal table which my husband built. I also always have their 'homework snacks' waiting for them when they get home, and I usually try to make it healthy-even if they don't realize it.

Seven, start early. My kids have been doing 'homework' with me since they were babies, and (as I pointed out to them yesterday) they loved it. We'd learn about cooking, dinosaurs, amphibians, insects, math, English, chemistry, even the periodic table came up. We'd do work pages every day and they'd love it.

Eight, hurdle help, works in area's like math, but not so much with history or English when the problems aren't as straight forward. But we do use this method where it applies.

Nine, choose the best person for the job. I'm best at English and my husband at math. When I get stuck on math I know who to go to, and I'll even study in my spare time to get better at it so I can be more useful in case he has to work late. That being said, we both devote a lot of our time to helping our kids with their homework.

Ten, show empathy and support. Done, not only can I relate to my kids, but I've pointed out that not getting their work done will make them feel bad bad enough, and that that's why we should work on getting it done together, so they have something to be proud of.

Use positive reinforcement and incentives. :) There was this one time I sat my son down at a table with a work book about 400 pages long. He was young, not even in school yet. Next to the book I placed a giant bag of M&Ms. I told him for every page he got done, he could have one m&m. About ten minutes later he finished the workbook and grinned up at me. When I found out he'd finished the book, I quickly checked it to see if it was done well, and then pushed the bag of M&M's towards him and told him he could just have it...Now they get rewarded in video games and computer time...

It seems that according to this article I'm doing everything right...So why is my child still struggling with homework/classwork? They've literally just refused to do it. Have seriously just sat in their chair without saying a word and stared at the table, or desk, or screen- as the majority of work is now done on computers...I'll sit with them, ask them if they need help, try to help them with problems. They will tell me the right answer to the questions being asked and then refuse to write it down. I feel like I've done everything I can as a parent to help them, but despite all my efforts, it isn't working. So...when all of these things fail, when a parent has done everything right, and there is nothing more they can do short of taking the pen or pencil into their own hands and doing it themselves, (but that would be cheating their child out of an education) what then should the parents do?

When our kids don't get their homework done before dinner, they're sent down the hall where it's quiet so they can finish it at the desk there, while the other kids have family time. They are told to come and get us if they really need help after that. But at this point it's like ostracizing our child for not doing homework.

I agree with most of what's on this page, and our family lifestyle reflects that, but I will disagree with one thing it said. It is our job to help our kids and be supportive of them yes, to nurture them and help them get the skills they need to take care of themselves and their home when they're older...but it is not our job to do the teachers work for them, they get paid for that. Some days it seems like that's what's expected of parents. Some even send home classwork if the kids don't finish it in class. Which means the child now has even more work to do on top of their homework. Though I understand that the teachers want the child to finish the lesson, and were the homework not a factor I probably wouldn't mind it as much. I don't even mind them sending home study guides to help kids before tests (Which is what homework was originally) but to send home overwhelming piles of work each night for parents to help kids with, (Each child with different homework so that parents need to bounce from history, to math to English) it's unreasonable. When teachers send home homework, they're dictating what the parents can do with the little time they have with their child. Which is wrong. We once had to cancel a trip to a science museum because our child had too much homework to finish and there was no way to make it in time and get their homework done. They could have had an amazing educational experience which would overall help them get excited about learning with new and fun tactile experiences, but their schedule (and therefore our schedule) was being dictated by the teacher while they weren't even in class. Of course I try not to talk bad about homework in front of my children, because that would make it even more difficult to get them to do it. But children NEED family time, they NEED to be kids. To be allowed to get away from their work and be themselves, to go outside and play with their friends, or even go out to dinner once in a while with their parents. Homework has made it difficult to grow a relationship with our children beyond the confines of what the teachers are dictating. It's violating in some ways and frustrating in others. It's grown into this monstrous thing which it was never meant to become, and the funny part about it is that most studies done on it show that schools who don't have homework have higher test scores and graduation rates. Not to mention better mental health rates. Studies also show, that after a child is taught something, they'll only really learn it after a good nights sleep, and that no amount of homework will change that. Sleep is what our bodies need to absorb important information we learn throughout the day, so staying up late with homework might even be harmful to a child's education...

Sorry I guess that turned into a bit of a rant...In the end I was hoping to find something useful in this article, something I hadn't tried that might work, but I've done it all, and will probably continue to do all of it in hopes that consistency might be the key...It's just that even after years of already doing All of this consistently, it's still not working. It's as if my child has made a conscious decision Not to work. He's not unintelligent, he understands it, he's even been tested and found to have an above average ability to learn. He just not doing it..So what now? What more can I do to actually inspire him to do the work?

AshumSmashum Out of all of this, most of which I've read and tried a billion times, your comment hit deeper. My son scores in the 99% on tests but cannot sit down and do the simplest homework. He does have autism and adhd so when he freezes up on homework, despite More knowing it, I'm lost at how to help him get it done. He knows the work so why does he need to show it with 20 math problems after school that take forever to complete one? (whatever honors algebra stuff he's in, I was lucky to learn division lol) He has a high IQ and excels in all subjects and yet is being tutored, so far, in English just to get the work done. I'm so done with the emotional toll it takes on me and him at home. Nobody wants to go to work for 8 hours and come home and do the same for another 5 so why do we think our kids want to come home and do more classwork? I'm so appreciative of your comment!

JC Hi Barb, thank you for bringing this up! My son sounds a lot like you...and he really wants to get good grades and go to an Ivy League school. What could someone do to help an 8th grader in the moment of struggle, while making sure they don't get more More anxious from falling behind for the rest of the year?

Tb Hi Barb, I'm the parent of an 8th grader and I want to thank you for the comment you left here. You helped me look at the deeper issues and I really appreciate that. I'm going to approach the conversation with my son differently, thanks to you. Thank More you!

My 11 year old daughter, Alice, has always helped her 7 year old sister, Chole, with homework. But just recently Alice has been giving Chole the wrong answers. We have been trying to get her to give Chole the correct answers

but she always yells at us. She has a baby sister 2 months named Ray and ever since Ray was born she has been giving Chole wrong answers. I once overheard her and Kevin, my husband, talking about how she felt left out. She came and talked to me and said exactly what she had told Kevin. She also told me she has been getting bad grades and doesn't get her homework. Me and Alice talked and she said "All the cool New York girls get straight A's and ever since I started getting D's and F's they said I wasn't cool anymore." We started having her grandparents come over and she would yell, hit, scream, and talk back to them. She is a great student but she spends all of her time on her phone. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and even at school she is on her phone. All I'm asking is that 1. How do I make her stop screaming, yelling, hitting, and back talking? 2. How do I make her feel cool and get A's again?and 3. How do I get her off her phone?

sounds like you have a number of concerns around your daughter’s behavior, and

it certainly can feel overwhelming. We would suggest https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/its-never-too-late-7-ways-to-start-parenting-more-effectively/ and focusing on just one or two of the most serious, to get

started. Behaviors like verbal or physical abuse would be of top priority,

while behaviors like https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/how-to-walk-away-from-a-fight-with-your-child-why-its-harder-than-you-think/ we would recommend ignoring, and not giving it any power or control.

Empowering Parents author Sara Bean offers some great insight into the reason

for poor child behavior in her article, https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/the-surprising-reason-for-bad-child-behavior-i-cant-solve-problems/.It sounds like your daughter is struggling to

find more effective ways to solve the problems she is facing, and the result is

the acting out behavior. Keep in mind, you can’t make your daughter do anything, but what you can do is help her to

learn better tools to solve whatever problems may come her way. Best of luck to

you and your family as you continue to work on this.

Emma Reed Alice also swears at school and she swears to teachers. Please we have tried everything, even her sister at age 18. What have we done wrong?

Being away from loved ones when they are struggling can be

distressing. It may help to know that it’s not unusual to see changes in

behavior as kids move from the tweens into adolescence, as Janet Lehman

explains in the article https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/adolescent-behavior-changes-is-your-child-embarrassed-by-you/. Normally responsible

kids can start to push back against meeting expectations and disrespect towards

parents and other authority figures can become quite common. The behavior you

describe isn’t OK; it is normal though. I can hear how much you want to help

your daughter and granddaughter

work through these challenges. If your daughter is open to it, you could share

some Empowering Parents articles with her, such as the one above and this one, https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/my-childs-behavior-is-so-bad-where-do-i-begin-how-to-coach-your-child-forward/.

We appreciate you writing in. Best of luck to you and your family moving

forward. Take care.

mphyvr Thanks for all these "strategies", they might work for some parents, but quite simplistic and just plain old common sense for more defiant kids... Thanks anyways and hope this article helps many.

Psych Fan I'm a mom of a sophomore he's also a swearing boy and will have quite a tantrum even with consequences of take away all he does is sleep. He doesn't like school says school is a waste of time and that grades won't matter in his adulthood . He says More it over n over about how schooling won't help him in the future as I go it will help you do good on a ACT and SAT he is like getting good scores on those are only good if your going to college. He also is like jobs won't look at my grades . I tell him homework teaches him responsibility once a job sees your amount of effort in school your going to have a heck of time getting hired. I even ask him how is he going to succeed to work real well at a job when he doesn't work hard at school he goes I don't need to work hard at school but I will need to work hard at a job.

dcastillo68 If it was only this simple, but, in reality it is not. Middle school syndrome is the worst. Kids don't want to be labeled as nerds so they do everything to try to fail. I went through that with my first born, and now again with my youngest. It is More very frustrating when I was the total opposite when I was growing up. I cared about my grades an I took it for granted thinking they will feel the same way. Now seeing how they are happy with just getting by is really frustrating to me because I am such an over achiever. They didn't even get an ounce of this. Very very frustrating. And I wish I have never invited video games to this household. That is all they want to do. I keep using this an incentive to bring them back on track, but as soon as I give them their games back, they are back to their old habits. Sorry, but I can't wait until they are finished with school and hopefully moving out of state to hopefully a college career. I may change my mind later, but at the moment, this is just how I feel. It is very hard too when you don't get any help. I find today's teacher to be lazy and pushing on more responsibility to the parents. Who has time to do a full day's of work, only to do additional work at home? okay, enough venting.

@frustrated single dad Diane Lewis Hi there - I have a son adopted out of foster care. He is 6 1/2 and has been in 5 homes. He is totally the same! They learn this behavior and are incredibly manipulative. They are so insanely smart. I worry about exactly the same thing. They turn on and off the behavior depending on who they are with and what they want.

We did Parent Child Interactive Therapy (PCIT) at the Mailman Center (Jackson Hospital Miami). It made a huge difference in the short-term. They basically taught us to be full-time behavioral therapists with my son. The effects wore off after a few months as my son adapted and found ways to circumvent the consequences techniques taught to us. He is like the Borg! I am going back to get more ideas on how to adapt and change and stay one step ahead of my son. The gals there are really smart!

So, that being said - we have to be Jean Luc Picard and constantly change and adapt and outsmart them - just like changing the phasers on a laser gun! It is bloody hard work. And, harder the older they get -

eg. He drops like a dead weight - throws his book bag and will not get in the car to go to school - response - next morning I headed it off by calling out to the kids "LAST ONE IN THE CAR IS A ROTTEN EGG!" This has worked for 2 days now.

Wont do homework 2 nights ago - response - "ooh I like doing word puzzles - Im going to do them and win" - this worked one night but not the next - he just then just left me to do his work - so I have told his teacher that there will be no school party for Alex next week unless he gets his homework finished - we will see if this works.....

It is totally exhausting and you have to be on your A game all the time. Im telling you this but - I have to tell myself this too. We have to stay really fit (like cross fit) and work out like a marine. We have to be very disciplined with ourselves - a healthy body is a healthy mind - we cannot let up at all. We have to stay calm at all times (again self discipline).

Im always looking for concrete reactions to situations with my son. Like I said - the entire day goes on like this with everything except what he wants to do. Wont get dressed in the morning - put out his clothes in dining room where there are no distractions or toys - tell him that if he gets dressed and ready for school quickly - he can spend the left over time on the trampoline. That worked this morning.

STAY STRONG MY BROTHER IN ARMS!!! If you can get into a PCIT program - do it.

Love to you - R

My child comes home and says he doesn't have homework, does something easy to make it look like he's doing his homework, or says he did it during free time in class. How do you combat this without going to the school everyday? Neither my husband nor I can do More this because of work, and the we asked the teacher's if it was possible to send us the assignments via email or let us come pick them up once a week with no cooperation. He is a very smart kid and gets "A's' on the work he does, but he is failing all of his core classes because he won't do homework.

@atmywitsend , my child is the same way. I'm at my wits end. I feel like I'm a failure as a parent because I thought I taught my smart kid to succeed - and instead she's lying to me.

Psych Fan NinaMays I'm with the same feelings as my son can be above a C student but he choose to go oh I rather just get F's on this work than to actually get at least a B or A on these many assignments.. I ask him why he chooses F's More in many assignments when he could get a grade to bring his grades up and me telling me he's not being his full potential as by making him not do his work how can I truly believe he's going to be successful and he's like I have big brains . Then I'm like why not show me by doing your school work he goes I don't need do that and I show you of my big brains by telling you school isn't important. Telling me I am brainwashed. He is a sophomore in high school.

FRUSTRATED PARENT NinaMays This is my reality too - "relationship" with teachers is difficult when they won't co-operate with homework expectations, or follow up email - the schools complain that kids are on the internet - yet its them providing wifi passwords - so kids are playing in class - lying about More homework - and since I'm not in the class, I have no idea until report cards surface.

Responses to questions posted on EmpoweringParents.com are not intended to replace qualified medical or mental health assessments. We cannot diagnose disorders or offer recommendations on which treatment plan is best for your family. Please seek the support of local resources as needed. If you need immediate assistance, or if you and your family are in crisis, please contact a qualified mental health provider in your area, or contact your statewide crisis hotline.

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A young boy wearing a yellow shirt and blue shorts sits on grass with his back against the wall of a home with his head down as a blue backpack sits nearby.

‘There’s only so far I can take them’ – why teachers give up on struggling students who don’t do their homework

Assistant Professor of Sociology, Indiana University

Professor of Mathematics Education, Vanderbilt University

Disclosure statement

Jessica Calarco has received funding from the Institute of Education Sciences, U.S. Department of Education, through Grant R305C050041-05 to the University of Pennsylvania and from the Networks, Complex Systems & Health Project Development Team within the ICTSI NIH/NCRR Grant Number UL1TR001108. She is a member of the Board of Directors of the Council on Contemporary Families.

Ilana Horn currently receives funding from the National Science Foundation. In the past, her work has been funded by the Spencer Foundation, the Carnegie Foundation, the Washington State Office of the Superintendent of Public Instruction, the Mindset Scholars Network, and the American Educational Research Association.

Vanderbilt University provides funding as a founding partner of The Conversation US.

Indiana University provides funding as a member of The Conversation US.

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Whenever “Gina,” a fifth grader at a suburban public school on the East Coast, did her math homework, she never had to worry about whether she could get help from her mom.

“I help her a lot with homework,” Gina’s mother, a married, mid-level manager for a health care company, explained to us during an interview for a study we did about how teachers view students who complete their homework versus those who do not.

“I try to maybe re-explain things, like, things she might not understand,” Gina’s mom continued. “Like, if she’s struggling, I try to teach her a different way. I understand that Gina is a very visual child but also needs to hear things, too. I know that when I’m reading it, and I’m writing it, and I’m saying it to her, she comprehends it better.”

One of us is a sociologist who looks at how schools favor middle-class families . The other is a math education professor who examines how math teachers perceive their students based on their work.

We were curious about how teachers reward students who complete their homework and penalize and criticize those who don’t – and whether there was any link between those things and family income.

By analyzing student report cards and interviewing teachers, students and parents, we found that teachers gave good grades for homework effort and other rewards to students from middle-class families like Gina, who happen to have college-educated parents who take an active role in helping their children complete their homework.

But when it comes to students such as “Jesse,” who attends the same school as Gina and is the child of a poor, single mother of two, we found that teachers had a more bleak outlook.

The names “Jesse” and “Gina” are pseudonyms to protect the children’s identities. Jesse can’t count on his mom to help with his homework because she struggled in school herself.

“I had many difficulties in school,” Jesse’s mom told us for the same study. “I had behavior issues, attention-deficit. And so after seventh grade, they sent me to an alternative high school, which I thought was the worst thing in the world. We literally did, like, first and second grade work. So my education was horrible.”

Jesse’s mother admitted she still can’t figure out division to this day.

“[My son will] ask me a question, and I’ll go look at it and it’s like algebra, in fifth grade. And I’m like: ‘What’s this?’” Jesse’s mom said. “So it’s really hard. Sometimes you just feel stupid. Because he’s in fifth grade. And I’m like, I should be able to help my son with his homework in fifth grade.”

Unlike Gina’s parents, who are married and own their own home in a middle-class neighborhood, Jesse’s mom isn’t married and rents a place in a mobile home community. She had Jesse when she was a teenager and was raising Jesse and his brother mostly on her own, though with some help from her parents. Her son is eligible for free lunch.

An issue of equity

As a matter of fairness, we think teachers should take these kinds of economic and social disparities into account in how they teach and grade students. But what we found in the schools we observed is that they usually don’t, and instead they seemed to accept inequality as destiny. Consider, for instance, what a fourth grade teacher – one of 22 teachers we interviewed and observed during the study – told us about students and homework.

“I feel like there’s a pocket here – a lower income pocket,” one teacher said. “And that trickles down to less support at home, homework not being done, stuff not being returned and signed. It should be almost 50-50 between home and school. If they don’t have the support at home, there’s only so far I can take them. If they’re not going to go home and do their homework, there’s just not much I can do.”

While educators recognize the different levels of resources that students have at home, they continue to assign homework that is too difficult for students to complete independently, and reward students who complete the homework anyway.

A mother helps her daughter do work as they sit on the couch and work on a notepad that lies on a nearby table.

Consider, for example, how one seventh grade teacher described his approach to homework: “I post the answers to the homework for every course online. The kids do the homework, and they’re supposed to check it and figure out if they need extra help. The kids who do that, there is an amazing correlation between that and positive grades. The kids who don’t do that are bombing.

"I need to drill that to parents that they need to check homework with their student, get it checked to see if it’s right or wrong and then ask me questions. I don’t want to use class time to go over homework.”

The problem is that the benefits of homework are not uniformly distributed. Rather, research shows that students from high-income families make bigger achievement gains through homework than students from low-income families.

This relationship has been found in both U.S. and Dutch schools , and it suggests that homework may contribute to disparities in students’ performance in school.

Tougher struggles

On top of uneven academic benefits, research also reveals that making sense of the math homework assigned in U.S schools is often more difficult for parents who have limited educational attainment , parents who feel anxious over mathematical content . It is also difficult for parents who learned math using different approaches than those currently taught in the U.S. .

Meanwhile, students from more-privileged families are disproportionately more likely to have a parent or a tutor available after school to help with homework, as well as parents who encourage them to seek help from their teachers if they have questions . And they are also more likely to have parents who feel entitled to intervene at school on their behalf.

False ideas about merit

In the schools we observed, teachers interpreted homework inequalities through what social scientists call the myth of meritocracy . The myth suggests that all students in the U.S. have the same opportunities to succeed in school and that any differences in students’ outcomes are the result of different levels of effort. Teachers in our study said things that are in line with this belief.

For instance, one third grade teacher told us: “We’re dealing with some really struggling kids. There are parents that I’ve never even met. They don’t come to conferences. There’s been no communication whatsoever. … I’ll write notes home or emails; they never respond. There are kids who never do their homework, and clearly the parents are OK with that.

"When you don’t have that support from home, what can you do? They can’t study by themselves. So if they don’t have parents that are going to help them out with that, then that’s tough on them, and it shows.”

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Homework Struggles May Not Be a Behavior Problem

Exploring some options to understand and help..

Posted August 2, 2022 | Reviewed by Abigail Fagan

Mental health challenges and neurodevelopmental differences directly affect children's ability to do homework.
Understanding what difficulties are getting in the way—beyond the usual explanation of a behavior problem—is key.
Sleep and mental health needs can take priority over homework completion.

Chelsea was in 10th grade the first time I told her directly to stop doing her homework and get some sleep. I had been working with her since she was in middle school, treating her anxiety disorder. She deeply feared disappointing anyone—especially her teachers—and spent hours trying to finish homework perfectly. The more tired and anxious she got, the harder it got for her to finish the assignments.

One night Chelsea called me in despair, feeling hopeless. She was exhausted and couldn’t think straight. She felt like a failure and that she was a burden to everyone because she couldn’t finish her homework.

She was shocked when I told her that my prescription for her was to go to sleep now—not to figure out how to finish her work. I told her to leave her homework incomplete and go to sleep. We briefly discussed how we would figure it out the next day, with her mom and her teachers. At that moment, it clicked for her that it was futile to keep working—because nothing was getting done.

This was an inflection point for her awareness of when she was emotionally over-cooked and when she needed to stop and take a break or get some sleep. We repeated versions of this phone call several times over the course of her high school and college years, but she got much better at being able to do this for herself most of the time.

When Mental Health Symptoms Interfere with Homework

Kids with mental health or neurodevelopmental challenges often struggle mightily with homework. Challenges can come up in every step of the homework process, including, but not limited to:

Remembering and tracking assignments and materials
Getting the mental energy/organization to start homework
Filtering distractions enough to persist with assignments
Understanding unspoken or implied parts of the homework
Remembering to bring finished homework to class
Being in class long enough to know the material
Tolerating the fear of not knowing or failing
Not giving up the assignment because of a panic attack
Tolerating frustration—such as not understanding—without emotional dysregulation
Being able to ask for help—from a peer or a teacher and not being afraid to reach out

This list is hardly comprehensive. ADHD , autism spectrum disorder, social anxiety , generalized anxiety, panic disorder, depression , dysregulation, and a range of other neurodevelopmental and mental health challenges cause numerous learning differences and symptoms that can specifically and frequently interfere with getting homework done.

The Usual Diagnosis for Homework Problems is "Not Trying Hard Enough"

Unfortunately, when kids frequently struggle to meet homework demands, teachers and parents typically default to one explanation of the problem: The child is making a choice not to do their homework. That is the default “diagnosis” in classrooms and living rooms. And once this framework is drawn, the student is often seen as not trying hard enough, disrespectful, manipulative, or just plain lazy.

The fundamental disconnect here is that the diagnosis of homework struggles as a behavioral choice is, in fact, only one explanation, while there are so many other diagnoses and differences that impair children's ability to consistently do their homework. If we are trying to create solutions based on only one understanding of the problem, the solutions will not work. More devastatingly, the wrong solutions can worsen the child’s mental health and their long-term engagement with school and learning.

To be clear, we aren’t talking about children who sometimes struggle with or skip homework—kids who can change and adapt their behaviors and patterns in response to the outcomes of that struggle. For this discussion, we are talking about children with mental health and/or neurodevelopmental symptoms and challenges that create chronic difficulties with meeting homework demands.

How Can You Help a Child Who Struggles with Homework?

How can you help your child who is struggling to meet homework demands because of their ADHD, depression, anxiety, OCD , school avoidance, or any other neurodevelopmental or mental health differences? Let’s break this down into two broad areas—things you can do at home, and things you can do in communication with the school.

Helping at Home

The following suggestions for managing school demands at home can feel counterintuitive to parents—because we usually focus on helping our kids to complete their tasks. But mental health needs jump the line ahead of task completion. And starting at home will be key to developing an idea of what needs to change at school.

Set an end time in the evening after which no more homework will be attempted. Kids need time to decompress and they need sleep—and pushing homework too close to or past bedtime doesn’t serve their educational needs. Even if your child hasn’t been able to approach the homework at all, even if they have avoided and argued the whole evening, it is still important for everyone to have a predictable time to shut down the whole process.
If there are arguments almost every night about homework, if your child isn’t starting homework or finishing it, reframe it from failure into information. It’s data to put into problem-solving. We need to consider other possible explanations besides “behavioral choice” when trying to understand the problem and create effective solutions. What problems are getting in the way of our child’s meeting homework demands that their peers are meeting most of the time?
Try not to argue about homework. If you can check your own anxiety and frustration, it can be more productive to ally with your child and be curious with them. Kids usually can’t tell you a clear “why” but maybe they can tell you how they are feeling and what they are thinking. And if your child can’t talk about it or just keeps saying “I don't know,” try not to push. Come back another time. Rushing, forcing, yelling, and threatening will predictably not help kids do homework.

Helping at School

The second area to explore when your neurodiverse child struggles frequently with homework is building communication and connections with school and teachers. Some places to focus on include the following.

Label your child’s diagnoses and break down specific symptoms for the teachers and school team. Nonjudgmental, but specific language is essential for teachers to understand your child’s struggles. Breaking their challenges down into the problems specific to homework can help with building solutions. As your child gets older, help them identify their difficulties and communicate them to teachers.
Let teachers and the school team know that your child’s mental health needs—including sleep—take priority over finishing homework. If your child is always struggling to complete homework and get enough sleep, or if completing homework is leading to emotional meltdowns every night, adjusting their homework demands will be more successful than continuing to push them into sleep deprivation or meltdowns.
Request a child study team evaluation to determine if your child qualifies for services under special education law such as an IEP, or accommodations through section 504—and be sure that homework adjustments are included in any plan. Or if such a plan is already in place, be clear that modification of homework expectations needs to be part of it.

The Long-Term Story

I still work with Chelsea and she recently mentioned how those conversations so many years ago are still part of how she approaches work tasks or other demands that are spiking her anxiety when she finds herself in a vortex of distress. She stops what she is doing and prioritizes reducing her anxiety—whether it’s a break during her day or an ending to the task for the evening. She sees that this is crucial to managing her anxiety in her life and still succeeding at what she is doing.

Task completion at all costs is not a solution for kids with emotional needs. Her story (and the story of many of my patients) make this crystal clear.

Candida Fink, M.D. , is board certified in child/adolescent and general psychiatry. She practices in New York and has co-authored two books— The Ups and Downs of Raising a Bipolar Child and Bipolar Disorder for Dummies.

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How To Handle A Student Who Doesn’t Do Homework?

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If you’ve been teaching for any length of time, you know that there are students who don’t do their homework.

This is not always a sign of laziness, apathy, or lack of interest in the subject matter. It may just be that they didn’t understand the assignment and/or were too busy to complete it.

Regardless of the reason, these students will need some extra attention and guidance if you want them to succeed academically.

A personal touch is usually the best approach. In other words, don’t hesitate to talk to your students face-to-face about their homework problems. They will appreciate your interest and show a willingness to improve because you care enough about them as an individual to find a solution.

If these students want to improve their grades, your guidance will simplify the learning process and help them experience the satisfaction of doing well in school.

I hope this article helps you manage your students who don’t do homework!

Why Some Students Don’t Do Their Homework?

This is a question often asked by young and veteran teachers alike. The following list contains common reasons why students don’t complete their homework, as well as ideas on how to make sure that such situations never occur in your classroom.

1) What’s the Point?

Sometimes, students simply don’t see a point in doing their homework. This may be because the subject is boring, or monotonous – or it could be because it’s impossible to comprehend. Ensuring that students have a solid understanding of the material before moving on to the next topic will help eliminate this issue. In addition, if you find yourself instructing something that lacks value, it may be time to rethink your approach.

2) Too Many Homework Assignments

This is often the most common issue students face. Teachers who fail to recognize that their students are carrying too much of a workload can create unbearable conditions that lead to laziness and failure. If you’re finding yourself sending home a large amount of work every night, you should strongly consider revising your approach. It’s much better to focus on a small number of assignments and ensure they’re completed correctly, rather than overwhelming students with too many tasks.

3) Lack of Self-Motivation

Many students don’t do their homework because they lack motivation and self-discipline. In situations such as these, it’s important to remember that you can’t force a student to complete their work – but there are ways for you to motivate them. The key is making the endeavor rewarding and worth their time – this could be through rewards or points systems.

4) Intellectual Disability

Sometimes students don’t do their homework because they’re struggling to keep up. This can be due to a variety of reasons (e.g., medical conditions, learning disabilities, etc.) If you suspect that your students are facing issues like these, you must take immediate action at the appropriate time.

5) Lack of Parental Involvement

Sometimes, parents fail to support their child’s education. This lack of involvement can significantly affect the student, who may then find it difficult to complete homework tasks without parental guidance. You should give students enough space to do their work, but you should also be supportive in helping them when they need help.

6) Poor Planning

Students can underestimate the amount of time it will take to complete their homework. When this happens, they might put off starting work until the last minute – or simply give up altogether. You should always keep an eye on how much time has passed since your students were given their task, so you can notify them if it’s becoming overdue. In addition, you should encourage your students to start work early, so they have sufficient time to complete it.

7) Illness

When students become ill, they may struggle to control their behavior and focus on homework. If your class falls victim to a bug, you should allow individuals to take the necessary time off without anxiety or pressure. The same goes for injuries – any situations where students are bedridden should be handled with appropriate care.

8) Bad Timing

Sometimes, students don’t do their homework due to bad timing. This could be because they’ve only just returned home from school and haven’t had enough time to rest. It’s important that you give your students ample time to unwind before starting any work, so they can retain their focus.

9) Distractions at Home

Modern homes contain a multitude of distractions that can affect the way students work. In addition to these, students may also have distracted siblings or relatives – making it hard for them to concentrate on tasks given by the teacher. You should always provide plenty of space and seclusion when working on academic tasks.

10) The Task is Too Challenging

It’s possible that students are attempting to complete assignments that are just too difficult for them. If this happens, you should consider revising the difficulty of your work until all of your students feel comfortable completing it.

11) Poorly Organized

Similar to planning issues, poorly organized students can struggle when it comes to completing their homework. You should work closely with your students to ensure they have the best tools for completing assignments.

12) Disinterest

There are some students who just aren’t interested in what you’re teaching them. This could mean that they refuse to complete their work or it may prevent them from retaining information. You should try and engage all of your students in your lessons so they remain interested and invested.

In conclusion, there are several reasons why some students don’t do their homework. The main causes include a lack of planning, ill health, and excessive or poorly organized tasks. You should always monitor your classes to make sure they’re completing work effectively and without difficulty.

How Should Handle Students Who Don’t Do Their Homework?

For a new teacher, handling a student who doesn’t do their homework can be a difficult task. It could throw off the rest of your lesson plans that you have been working on all day or week. You have to find a way to deal with it without showing favoritism and giving out punishments for those who don’t complete their work.

This can be a very delicate situation especially if several children don’t complete their homework.

1. Let them know the importance of doing their work

One of the first steps to take when a student does not complete their work is letting them know the importance of doing so. You can tell students that it is important to do their work, so they will be prepared for the next school day.

2. Give them a warning

Giving out a simple warning would be an ideal approach when handling students who have not completed their work. This means letting them know of any consequences or possible punishments that can be given if they do not complete their homework.

3. Let them know what your role is as a teacher

Another very effective way to deal with students who don’t do their work is by informing them of what the teacher’s role is in the classroom. By explaining this, you are letting them know that you are not responsible for their education. You are there to help them when needed and direct them in the right direction.

4. Give students who don’t do their work another opportunity

After letting students know what consequences they will face if they don’t complete their work, you can give them an opportunity to turn it in the next day or the following class period. This is a very effective way of dealing with students who did not complete their homework because it lets them have another chance to do so.

5. Give consequences for students who don’t complete their work

The most common consequence that you can give out when a student does not do their schoolwork is giving them detention or some other form of punishment. This can be a difficult thing to do because you have to find a way of disciplining students without jeopardizing your relationship with students or other teachers.

6. Have the parent call the student’s teacher

If a student does not turn in homework more than two times and they continue to not complete their work for several weeks, you can give the student’s parent a call. This can be an effective way of notifying parents about their child’s lack of schoolwork and lack of studying at home.

7. Talk to the student after class or during lunch

If you feel as if it is appropriate, you can talk to the student outside of the classroom setting, during lunch, or after school. This is an approach you can take when dealing with students who continuously do not complete their homework. By talking to them outside of the classroom, it makes it easier to handle situations that may arise during class periods.

8. Give student work to another classmate

Another successful way of handling students who don’t do their work is to give them school work that is given to other students. For example, you can give out extra credit questions or assignments that are completed by other students if they do not complete their work.

9. Make an announcement about the homework policy

Announcing what your classroom’s policy for homework is can be helpful because it lets everyone know what to expect for the upcoming weeks or months. You can also use this chance to remind students of your classroom rules and procedures.

10. Make sure homework is not repeatedly an issue

Make sure that you are aware of how often homework becomes an issue in your classroom. If it happens all the time, then there may be something wrong with how you are handing out homework. It may be a good idea to have students complete homework during the first week of school so you can see if there becomes an issue or not.

Final Thought

It can be frustrating when students don’t do their homework. There are a variety of approaches for handling this issue, but the most important thing is to identify what will work best with your personality and teaching style. In this blog post, we’ve provided ten different ways you can address students who consistently turn in incomplete schoolwork or neglect it altogether. Don’t forget that it may take some time before you find out which approach works best for both you and your students! Check out more articles here.

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Does Homework Really Help Students Learn?

A conversation with a Wheelock researcher, a BU student, and a fourth-grade teacher

“Quality homework is engaging and relevant to kids’ lives,” says Wheelock’s Janine Bempechat. “It gives them autonomy and engages them in the community and with their families. In some subjects, like math, worksheets can be very helpful. It has to do with the value of practicing over and over.” Photo by iStock/Glenn Cook Photography

Do your homework.

If only it were that simple.

Educators have debated the merits of homework since the late 19th century. In recent years, amid concerns of some parents and teachers that children are being stressed out by too much homework, things have only gotten more fraught.

“Homework is complicated,” says developmental psychologist Janine Bempechat, a Wheelock College of Education & Human Development clinical professor. The author of the essay “ The Case for (Quality) Homework—Why It Improves Learning and How Parents Can Help ” in the winter 2019 issue of Education Next , Bempechat has studied how the debate about homework is influencing teacher preparation, parent and student beliefs about learning, and school policies.

She worries especially about socioeconomically disadvantaged students from low-performing schools who, according to research by Bempechat and others, get little or no homework.

BU Today sat down with Bempechat and Erin Bruce (Wheelock’17,’18), a new fourth-grade teacher at a suburban Boston school, and future teacher freshman Emma Ardizzone (Wheelock) to talk about what quality homework looks like, how it can help children learn, and how schools can equip teachers to design it, evaluate it, and facilitate parents’ role in it.

BU Today: Parents and educators who are against homework in elementary school say there is no research definitively linking it to academic performance for kids in the early grades. You’ve said that they’re missing the point.

Bempechat : I think teachers assign homework in elementary school as a way to help kids develop skills they’ll need when they’re older—to begin to instill a sense of responsibility and to learn planning and organizational skills. That’s what I think is the greatest value of homework—in cultivating beliefs about learning and skills associated with academic success. If we greatly reduce or eliminate homework in elementary school, we deprive kids and parents of opportunities to instill these important learning habits and skills.

We do know that beginning in late middle school, and continuing through high school, there is a strong and positive correlation between homework completion and academic success.

That’s what I think is the greatest value of homework—in cultivating beliefs about learning and skills associated with academic success.

You talk about the importance of quality homework. What is that?

Quality homework is engaging and relevant to kids’ lives. It gives them autonomy and engages them in the community and with their families. In some subjects, like math, worksheets can be very helpful. It has to do with the value of practicing over and over.

What are your concerns about homework and low-income children?

The argument that some people make—that homework “punishes the poor” because lower-income parents may not be as well-equipped as affluent parents to help their children with homework—is very troubling to me. There are no parents who don’t care about their children’s learning. Parents don’t actually have to help with homework completion in order for kids to do well. They can help in other ways—by helping children organize a study space, providing snacks, being there as a support, helping children work in groups with siblings or friends.

Isn’t the discussion about getting rid of homework happening mostly in affluent communities?

Yes, and the stories we hear of kids being stressed out from too much homework—four or five hours of homework a night—are real. That’s problematic for physical and mental health and overall well-being. But the research shows that higher-income students get a lot more homework than lower-income kids.

Teachers may not have as high expectations for lower-income children. Schools should bear responsibility for providing supports for kids to be able to get their homework done—after-school clubs, community support, peer group support. It does kids a disservice when our expectations are lower for them.

The conversation around homework is to some extent a social class and social justice issue. If we eliminate homework for all children because affluent children have too much, we’re really doing a disservice to low-income children. They need the challenge, and every student can rise to the challenge with enough supports in place.

What did you learn by studying how education schools are preparing future teachers to handle homework?

My colleague, Margarita Jimenez-Silva, at the University of California, Davis, School of Education, and I interviewed faculty members at education schools, as well as supervising teachers, to find out how students are being prepared. And it seemed that they weren’t. There didn’t seem to be any readings on the research, or conversations on what high-quality homework is and how to design it.

Erin, what kind of training did you get in handling homework?

Bruce : I had phenomenal professors at Wheelock, but homework just didn’t come up. I did lots of student teaching. I’ve been in classrooms where the teachers didn’t assign any homework, and I’ve been in rooms where they assigned hours of homework a night. But I never even considered homework as something that was my decision. I just thought it was something I’d pull out of a book and it’d be done.

I started giving homework on the first night of school this year. My first assignment was to go home and draw a picture of the room where you do your homework. I want to know if it’s at a table and if there are chairs around it and if mom’s cooking dinner while you’re doing homework.

The second night I asked them to talk to a grown-up about how are you going to be able to get your homework done during the week. The kids really enjoyed it. There’s a running joke that I’m teaching life skills.

Friday nights, I read all my kids’ responses to me on their homework from the week and it’s wonderful. They pour their hearts out. It’s like we’re having a conversation on my couch Friday night.

It matters to know that the teacher cares about you and that what you think matters to the teacher. Homework is a vehicle to connect home and school…for parents to know teachers are welcoming to them and their families.

Bempechat : I can’t imagine that most new teachers would have the intuition Erin had in designing homework the way she did.

Ardizzone : Conversations with kids about homework, feeling you’re being listened to—that’s such a big part of wanting to do homework….I grew up in Westchester County. It was a pretty demanding school district. My junior year English teacher—I loved her—she would give us feedback, have meetings with all of us. She’d say, “If you have any questions, if you have anything you want to talk about, you can talk to me, here are my office hours.” It felt like she actually cared.

Bempechat : It matters to know that the teacher cares about you and that what you think matters to the teacher. Homework is a vehicle to connect home and school…for parents to know teachers are welcoming to them and their families.

Ardizzone : But can’t it lead to parents being overbearing and too involved in their children’s lives as students?

Bempechat : There’s good help and there’s bad help. The bad help is what you’re describing—when parents hover inappropriately, when they micromanage, when they see their children confused and struggling and tell them what to do.

Good help is when parents recognize there’s a struggle going on and instead ask informative questions: “Where do you think you went wrong?” They give hints, or pointers, rather than saying, “You missed this,” or “You didn’t read that.”

Bruce : I hope something comes of this. I hope BU or Wheelock can think of some way to make this a more pressing issue. As a first-year teacher, it was not something I even thought about on the first day of school—until a kid raised his hand and said, “Do we have homework?” It would have been wonderful if I’d had a plan from day one.

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Sara Rimer A journalist for more than three decades, Sara Rimer worked at the Miami Herald , Washington Post and, for 26 years, the New York Times , where she was the New England bureau chief, and a national reporter covering education, aging, immigration, and other social justice issues. Her stories on the death penalty’s inequities were nominated for a Pulitzer Prize and cited in the U.S. Supreme Court’s decision outlawing the execution of people with intellectual disabilities. Her journalism honors include Columbia University’s Meyer Berger award for in-depth human interest reporting. She holds a BA degree in American Studies from the University of Michigan. Profile

She can be reached at [email protected] .

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There are 81 comments on Does Homework Really Help Students Learn?

Insightful! The values about homework in elementary schools are well aligned with my intuition as a parent.

when i finish my work i do my homework and i sometimes forget what to do because i did not get enough sleep

same omg it does not help me it is stressful and if I have it in more than one class I hate it.

Same I think my parent wants to help me but, she doesn’t care if I get bad grades so I just try my best and my grades are great.

I think that last question about Good help from parents is not know to all parents, we do as our parents did or how we best think it can be done, so maybe coaching parents or giving them resources on how to help with homework would be very beneficial for the parent on how to help and for the teacher to have consistency and improve homework results, and of course for the child. I do see how homework helps reaffirm the knowledge obtained in the classroom, I also have the ability to see progress and it is a time I share with my kids

The answer to the headline question is a no-brainer – a more pressing problem is why there is a difference in how students from different cultures succeed. Perfect example is the student population at BU – why is there a majority population of Asian students and only about 3% black students at BU? In fact at some universities there are law suits by Asians to stop discrimination and quotas against admitting Asian students because the real truth is that as a group they are demonstrating better qualifications for admittance, while at the same time there are quotas and reduced requirements for black students to boost their portion of the student population because as a group they do more poorly in meeting admissions standards – and it is not about the Benjamins. The real problem is that in our PC society no one has the gazuntas to explore this issue as it may reveal that all people are not created equal after all. Or is it just environmental cultural differences??????

I get you have a concern about the issue but that is not even what the point of this article is about. If you have an issue please take this to the site we have and only post your opinion about the actual topic

This is not at all what the article is talking about.

This literally has nothing to do with the article brought up. You should really take your opinions somewhere else before you speak about something that doesn’t make sense.

we have the same name

so they have the same name what of it?

lol you tell her

totally agree

What does that have to do with homework, that is not what the article talks about AT ALL.

Yes, I think homework plays an important role in the development of student life. Through homework, students have to face challenges on a daily basis and they try to solve them quickly.I am an intense online tutor at 24x7homeworkhelp and I give homework to my students at that level in which they handle it easily.

More than two-thirds of students said they used alcohol and drugs, primarily marijuana, to cope with stress.

You know what’s funny? I got this assignment to write an argument for homework about homework and this article was really helpful and understandable, and I also agree with this article’s point of view.

I also got the same task as you! I was looking for some good resources and I found this! I really found this article useful and easy to understand, just like you! ^^

i think that homework is the best thing that a child can have on the school because it help them with their thinking and memory.

I am a child myself and i think homework is a terrific pass time because i can’t play video games during the week. It also helps me set goals.

Homework is not harmful ,but it will if there is too much

I feel like, from a minors point of view that we shouldn’t get homework. Not only is the homework stressful, but it takes us away from relaxing and being social. For example, me and my friends was supposed to hang at the mall last week but we had to postpone it since we all had some sort of work to do. Our minds shouldn’t be focused on finishing an assignment that in realty, doesn’t matter. I completely understand that we should have homework. I have to write a paper on the unimportance of homework so thanks.

homework isn’t that bad

Are you a student? if not then i don’t really think you know how much and how severe todays homework really is

i am a student and i do not enjoy homework because i practice my sport 4 out of the five days we have school for 4 hours and that’s not even counting the commute time or the fact i still have to shower and eat dinner when i get home. its draining!

i totally agree with you. these people are such boomers

why just why

they do make a really good point, i think that there should be a limit though. hours and hours of homework can be really stressful, and the extra work isn’t making a difference to our learning, but i do believe homework should be optional and extra credit. that would make it for students to not have the leaning stress of a assignment and if you have a low grade you you can catch up.

Studies show that homework improves student achievement in terms of improved grades, test results, and the likelihood to attend college. Research published in the High School Journal indicates that students who spent between 31 and 90 minutes each day on homework “scored about 40 points higher on the SAT-Mathematics subtest than their peers, who reported spending no time on homework each day, on average.” On both standardized tests and grades, students in classes that were assigned homework outperformed 69% of students who didn’t have homework. A majority of studies on homework’s impact – 64% in one meta-study and 72% in another – showed that take home assignments were effective at improving academic achievement. Research by the Institute for the Study of Labor (IZA) concluded that increased homework led to better GPAs and higher probability of college attendance for high school boys. In fact, boys who attended college did more than three hours of additional homework per week in high school.

So how are your measuring student achievement? That’s the real question. The argument that doing homework is simply a tool for teaching responsibility isn’t enough for me. We can teach responsibility in a number of ways. Also the poor argument that parents don’t need to help with homework, and that students can do it on their own, is wishful thinking at best. It completely ignores neurodiverse students. Students in poverty aren’t magically going to find a space to do homework, a friend’s or siblings to help them do it, and snacks to eat. I feel like the author of this piece has never set foot in a classroom of students.

THIS. This article is pathetic coming from a university. So intellectually dishonest, refusing to address the havoc of capitalism and poverty plays on academic success in life. How can they in one sentence use poor kids in an argument and never once address that poor children have access to damn near 0 of the resources affluent kids have? Draw me a picture and let’s talk about feelings lmao what a joke is that gonna put food in their belly so they can have the calories to burn in order to use their brain to study? What about quiet their 7 other siblings that they share a single bedroom with for hours? Is it gonna force the single mom to magically be at home and at work at the same time to cook food while you study and be there to throw an encouraging word?

Also the “parents don’t need to be a parent and be able to guide their kid at all academically they just need to exist in the next room” is wild. Its one thing if a parent straight up is not equipped but to say kids can just figured it out is…. wow coming from an educator What’s next the teacher doesn’t need to teach cause the kid can just follow the packet and figure it out?

Well then get a tutor right? Oh wait you are poor only affluent kids can afford a tutor for their hours of homework a day were they on average have none of the worries a poor child does. Does this address that poor children are more likely to also suffer abuse and mental illness? Like mentioned what about kids that can’t learn or comprehend the forced standardized way? Just let em fail? These children regularly are not in “special education”(some of those are a joke in their own and full of neglect and abuse) programs cause most aren’t even acknowledged as having disabilities or disorders.

But yes all and all those pesky poor kids just aren’t being worked hard enough lol pretty sure poor children’s existence just in childhood is more work, stress, and responsibility alone than an affluent child’s entire life cycle. Love they never once talked about the quality of education in the classroom being so bad between the poor and affluent it can qualify as segregation, just basically blamed poor people for being lazy, good job capitalism for failing us once again!

why the hell?

you should feel bad for saying this, this article can be helpful for people who has to write a essay about it

This is more of a political rant than it is about homework

I know a teacher who has told his students their homework is to find something they are interested in, pursue it and then come share what they learn. The student responses are quite compelling. One girl taught herself German so she could talk to her grandfather. One boy did a research project on Nelson Mandela because the teacher had mentioned him in class. Another boy, a both on the autism spectrum, fixed his family’s computer. The list goes on. This is fourth grade. I think students are highly motivated to learn, when we step aside and encourage them.

The whole point of homework is to give the students a chance to use the material that they have been presented with in class. If they never have the opportunity to use that information, and discover that it is actually useful, it will be in one ear and out the other. As a science teacher, it is critical that the students are challenged to use the material they have been presented with, which gives them the opportunity to actually think about it rather than regurgitate “facts”. Well designed homework forces the student to think conceptually, as opposed to regurgitation, which is never a pretty sight

Wonderful discussion. and yes, homework helps in learning and building skills in students.

not true it just causes kids to stress

Homework can be both beneficial and unuseful, if you will. There are students who are gifted in all subjects in school and ones with disabilities. Why should the students who are gifted get the lucky break, whereas the people who have disabilities suffer? The people who were born with this “gift” go through school with ease whereas people with disabilities struggle with the work given to them. I speak from experience because I am one of those students: the ones with disabilities. Homework doesn’t benefit “us”, it only tears us down and put us in an abyss of confusion and stress and hopelessness because we can’t learn as fast as others. Or we can’t handle the amount of work given whereas the gifted students go through it with ease. It just brings us down and makes us feel lost; because no mater what, it feels like we are destined to fail. It feels like we weren’t “cut out” for success.

homework does help

here is the thing though, if a child is shoved in the face with a whole ton of homework that isn’t really even considered homework it is assignments, it’s not helpful. the teacher should make homework more of a fun learning experience rather than something that is dreaded

This article was wonderful, I am going to ask my teachers about extra, or at all giving homework.

I agree. Especially when you have homework before an exam. Which is distasteful as you’ll need that time to study. It doesn’t make any sense, nor does us doing homework really matters as It’s just facts thrown at us.

Homework is too severe and is just too much for students, schools need to decrease the amount of homework. When teachers assign homework they forget that the students have other classes that give them the same amount of homework each day. Students need to work on social skills and life skills.

I disagree.

Beyond achievement, proponents of homework argue that it can have many other beneficial effects. They claim it can help students develop good study habits so they are ready to grow as their cognitive capacities mature. It can help students recognize that learning can occur at home as well as at school. Homework can foster independent learning and responsible character traits. And it can give parents an opportunity to see what’s going on at school and let them express positive attitudes toward achievement.

Homework is helpful because homework helps us by teaching us how to learn a specific topic.

As a student myself, I can say that I have almost never gotten the full 9 hours of recommended sleep time, because of homework. (Now I’m writing an essay on it in the middle of the night D=)

I am a 10 year old kid doing a report about “Is homework good or bad” for homework before i was going to do homework is bad but the sources from this site changed my mind!

Homeowkr is god for stusenrs

I agree with hunter because homework can be so stressful especially with this whole covid thing no one has time for homework and every one just wants to get back to there normal lives it is especially stressful when you go on a 2 week vaca 3 weeks into the new school year and and then less then a week after you come back from the vaca you are out for over a month because of covid and you have no way to get the assignment done and turned in

As great as homework is said to be in the is article, I feel like the viewpoint of the students was left out. Every where I go on the internet researching about this topic it almost always has interviews from teachers, professors, and the like. However isn’t that a little biased? Of course teachers are going to be for homework, they’re not the ones that have to stay up past midnight completing the homework from not just one class, but all of them. I just feel like this site is one-sided and you should include what the students of today think of spending four hours every night completing 6-8 classes worth of work.

Are we talking about homework or practice? Those are two very different things and can result in different outcomes.

Homework is a graded assignment. I do not know of research showing the benefits of graded assignments going home.

Practice; however, can be extremely beneficial, especially if there is some sort of feedback (not a grade but feedback). That feedback can come from the teacher, another student or even an automated grading program.

As a former band director, I assigned daily practice. I never once thought it would be appropriate for me to require the students to turn in a recording of their practice for me to grade. Instead, I had in-class assignments/assessments that were graded and directly related to the practice assigned.

I would really like to read articles on “homework” that truly distinguish between the two.

oof i feel bad good luck!

thank you guys for the artical because I have to finish an assingment. yes i did cite it but just thanks

thx for the article guys.

Homework is good

I think homework is helpful AND harmful. Sometimes u can’t get sleep bc of homework but it helps u practice for school too so idk.

I agree with this Article. And does anyone know when this was published. I would like to know.

It was published FEb 19, 2019.

Studies have shown that homework improved student achievement in terms of improved grades, test results, and the likelihood to attend college.

i think homework can help kids but at the same time not help kids

This article is so out of touch with majority of homes it would be laughable if it wasn’t so incredibly sad.

There is no value to homework all it does is add stress to already stressed homes. Parents or adults magically having the time or energy to shepherd kids through homework is dome sort of 1950’s fantasy.

What lala land do these teachers live in?

Homework gives noting to the kid

Homework is Bad

homework is bad.

why do kids even have homework?

Comments are closed.

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ONLINE PARENTING COACH

Help for parents with strong-willed, out-of-control teens and preteens.

Defiant Children Who Refuse To Do Homework: 30 Tips For Parents

Your child doesn’t understand the work and needs some extra help. It’s possible that your youngster doesn’t want to do his homework because he really needs help. Also, it can be challenging for moms and dads to accept that their youngster might need help with homework, because there is often a stigma attached to kids who need tutoring.
Your child is addicted to TV and video games. Moms and dads often find it very difficult to limit these activities. But, understand that playing video games and watching TV doesn’t relax a youngster’s brain. In fact, it actually over-stimulates the brain and makes it harder for him to learn and retain information. Too much of watching TV and playing video games contributes to your youngster struggling with school and homework in more ways than one.
Your child is exhausted from a long day at school. In the last 10 to 20 years, the needs of kids have not changed, however the pace of life has. Most moms and dads are busy and have very little down time, which inevitably means that the youngster ends up with less down time too. He is going to be less likely to be motivated to work when there is chaos all around him.
Your child is not sleeping enough. Sleep is one of the most under-appreciated needs in our society today. When a child doesn’t get enough sleep, it can cause him to be sick more often, lose focus, and have more emotional issues. Kids often need a great deal more sleep than they usually get.
Your child is over-booked with other activities. Moms and dads want their youngster to develop skills other than academics. Because of this, they often sign-up their youngster for extracurricular activities (e.g., sports or arts).
Your child is overwhelmed by your expectations. Moms and dads want their youngster to be well-rounded and to get ahead in life. Along with this comes getting good grades. All these expectations can put a lot of pressure on your youngster and may cause him to become burned-out and want to find an escape.
instructions are unclear
neither you nor your youngster can understand the purpose of assignments
the assignments are often too hard or too easy
the homework is assigned in uneven amounts
you can't provide needed supplies or materials
you can't seem to help your youngster get organized to finish the assignments
your youngster has missed school and needs to make up assignments
your youngster refuses to do her assignments, even though you've tried hard to get her to do them
Do you understand what you're supposed to do?
What do you need to do to finish the assignment?
Do you need help in understanding how to do your work?
Have you ever done any problems like the ones you're supposed to do right now?
Do you have everything you need to do the assignment?
Does your answer make sense to you?
Are you still having problems? Maybe it would help to take a break or have a snack.
Do you need to review your notes (or reread a chapter in your textbook) before you do the assignment?
How far have you gotten on the assignment? Let's try to figure out where you're having a problem.

How do I get my over-achieving daughter to slow down?

"I have taken the quiz and surprisingly found that I was a severely over indulgent parent. This angers me because I didn't think...

Negations in the Simple Present, don't or doesn't – Exercise 2

Task no. 4025.

Choose the correct phrases and form negative sentences

Do you need help?

Form of the Simple Present

I don't stay doesn't stay at home.
We don't wash doesn't wash the family car.
Doris don't do doesn't do her homework.
They don't go doesn't go to bed at 8.30 pm.
Kevin don't open doesn't open his workbook.
Our hamster don't eat doesn't eat apples.
You don't chat doesn't chat with your friends.
She don't use doesn't use a ruler.
Max, Frank and Steve don't skate doesn't skate in the yard.
The boy don't throw doesn't throw stones.
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Sarah Paulson Doesn’t Live with Girlfriend Holland Taylor After Nearly 10 Years as a Couple

The ‘American Horror Story’ star opened up about her relationship during an appearance on the ‘SmartLess’ podcast on May 13

Natalia Senanayake is an Editorial Assistant, Lifestyle at PEOPLE. She covers all things travel and home, from celebrities' luxury mansions to breaking travel news.

Bruce Glikas/WireImage

Sarah Paulson is getting candid about her living situation with girlfriend Holland Taylor .

While appearing on the May 13 episode of the SmartLess podcast hosted by Jason Bateman , Sean Hayes and Will Arnett , the American Horror Story star, 49, revealed she still doesn’t live with her girlfriend of nearly ten years

“Yeah, we don’t live together. That’s the secret to it,” Paulson says of her long-lasting romance. “We spend plenty of time together, but we don’t live in the same house.”

She explains that she and the Two and a Half Men alum, who first met in 2005 and went public with their relationship in 2015 , have "been together for a long time now. And part of it has to do with, we’re together when we want to be and we’re not when we don’t.”

After the hosts suggested that maybe Paulson and Taylor, 81, could try living in the same house but have separate bedrooms, the Ratched alum still stands her ground.

“No, because my favorite thing to do — we fall asleep holding hands. I like to sleep near her," she says, before joking, "I don’t want to be around her the rest of the time. Just kidding.”

Paulson explains that her partner's romantic history may be part of the reason their arrangement works best for them.

“Holland, before me, hasn’t been in a ton of long-term relationships, whereas Holland is my third. I tend to do that and have more experience doing that, Holland hasn’t. So to get to be her age and sort of not having really cohabited with someone for a long time — I think it was a lot to sort of have me and all my me-ness in her space.”

The couple first met at a dinner party nearly twenty years ago while Paulson was dating actress Cherry Jones. Taylor was also in a relationship at the time.

Almost ten years later, they reconnected in 2015 after Taylor slid into Paulson’s DMs on Twitter. Paulson explained the scene during a January 2019 appearance with Billy Eichner on Watch What Happens Live With Andy Cohen .

"It's a long story. We met a very, very long time ago. I was with someone else; she was, too," she recalled. "We sort of breezed by one another, and then started following each other on Twitter, and then …"

Eichner then asked, "Holland Taylor slid into your DMs?" and Paulson replied, "She actually did. Yeah, it's pretty great."

During a Nov. 2023 appearance on The View , the actress couldn’t help but gush over her relationship with Taylor.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.

"I am thrilled and I feel very lucky to be with a person who is smarter, wiser, wittier than I, and that just makes my life better in every possible way" she said. "It makes me want to be a better person and a fully realized person."

Paulson added, "She just also makes me feel seen, which I think is the most important gift you can give to any person."

Daniel cormier on ronda rousey's concussion history revelation: 'all she's doing is telling her truth', share this article.

So what if Ronda Rousey waited until years later to open up about her history with concussions? That’s essentially Daniel Cormier ’s take on the situation surrounding his fellow UFC Hall of Famer.

Rousey raised eyebrows in March when she admitted that too many concussions was the primary reason for her abrupt MMA retirement . A few weeks later, Rousey followed up to specify that she was concussed before her 2015 fight with Holly Holm in which she was stunningly knocked out to lose the bantamweight title at UFC 193.

Rousey’s remarks rubbed some people the wrong way, including Jimmy Smith . But that’s not the case with Cormier.

“Only Ronda knows about the concussions,” Cormier told MMA Junkie Radio . “If she (was) having these types of concussions, the only mistake she made, to me, is by saying it later. Because nobody knows if she had concussions, but I will also say this in defending Ronda: She’s always been one that people want to critique, even if it was unjust. So when she lost to Holly, it was almost like the world celebrated. They felt like everything got given to her when, in reality, she was winning those fights. She was beating people. And then for her to come back and lose to Amanda (Nunes at UFC 207)) the way she did, everybody celebrated and said ‘to hell with Ronda, go and be gone.’ So now when she comes back and says, ‘Well, I’ve had these issues over my life,’ I don’t know how she couldn’t.

“I understand how difficult it is to do this sport as she did Olympic level – the throwing, everything in the room. It’s hard, man. I couldn’t even count how many concussions I’ve probably had in my life. Ultimately only she knows. I don’t disagree with her as much as most might because all she’s doing is telling her truth.”

Photos: Ronda Rousey through the years

Jimmy smith slams ronda rousey for saying joe rogan, media turned on her: 'don't give me this victim sh*t', ronda rousey thinks joe rogan, media turned on her after knockout losses: 'they're a bunch of assh*les', holly holm dismisses ronda rousey's concussion claim prior to ufc 193 fight: 'i was the better fighter that night', video: does ronda rousey's concussion admission change our view of her ufc exit.

For those critical of Rousey, the issue is a perceived case of making excuses for her demise, but Cormier doesn’t see it that way and said he wouldn’t if one of his former foes suddenly came out in a similar fashion.

“I would be thinking to myself on that night I was better – unless that person walked in there with a concussion,” Cormier said. “I don’t think it changes what happens in those fights unless she specifically goes, ‘The only reason I lost was because I had those concussions.’ And I don’t think that’s the case. I don’t think she said that. … If she flat-out said, ‘The only reason I lost is because I had concussions,’ now that’s a problem. That’s taking something from Holly. But if she’s just telling her story and concussions became part of it then it is what it is.”

Be sure to visit the MMA Junkie Instagram page and YouTube channel to discuss this and more content with fans of mixed martial arts.

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A Fox News Liberal Even Sean Hannity Can Love

Jessica tarlov is effective partly because of what she doesn’t do..

This is part of Sly as Fox , a short series about the perils of underestimating Fox News in 2024.

If you are familiar with Jessica Tarlov, you’re probably a regular Fox News viewer. That’s a sign that she’s doing what was hired to do pretty well—namely, be a Democrat on television who can bounce off the network’s right-wing stars without stealing the show. If she approached the job differently, she could probably be more famous. But her approach also, more subtly, allows her undermine one of the network’s central delusions in a way that her co-workers may not even be aware of.

Tarlov is, at the moment, the Fox network’s most prominent liberal commentator. She began appearing on the network in 2017, having come to bookers’ attention through a job working for Douglas Schoen, a Democratic pollster and longtime cable-news pontificator himself. After initially developing a rapport with Fox prime-time host Sean Hannity, she is now most frequently seen on The Five , the network’s 5 p.m. chat show, which attempts to re-create the cacophonous energy of The View with a lineup that is much, much more slanted toward the conservative perspective. (Its other primary co-hosts are Greg Gutfeld, Jesse Watters, Jeanine Pirro, and Dana Perino, all of whom are right-wing.)

Historically, there have been three types of liberal or Democratic Fox guests. There are active politicians who attest to believing in the importance of interacting with the network’s audience of Republicans and nominally persuadable independents. (Some may truly believe this—Bernie Sanders, no fan of interactions he doesn’t consider essential, has gone on Fox . Others may simply enjoy hearing themselves talk. Picture us furtively gesturing toward Gavin Newsom while we say that.) There are “Democrats” who only ever seem to disagree with what the Democratic Party is doing; their purpose on the network seems to be to reassure Fox’s audience that liberals are, in fact, radical and unreasonable. And then there was the late Alan Colmes, Hannity’s original sidekick on the show that was initially called Hannity and Liberal to Be Determined . The mild-mannered Colmes seemed to exist to get steamrolled, serving the same purpose as food dropped into an animal cage in the “large cats” wing of the zoo.

Tarlov does not actually fit in any of these categories—nor, as much as it might be suggested by her chipper social media profile, upscale Manhattan biography , and on-trend glasses, does she seem to be an aspiring influencer or cultural personality in the Meghan McCain mode. As bizarre as it may be to find such a person on Fox News or cable TV more generally, she is basically just a levelheaded liberal who, befitting her background in polling, tends to explain politics (and defend the behavior of Democratic politicians) in practical terms.

Consider, for instance, her commentary from March on The Five regarding Joe Biden’s “star-studded” Radio City Music Hall fundraiser, at which he was joined by figures ranging from Lizzo to former presidents Bill Clinton and Barack Obama. Tarlov’s co-workers attacked the event as an embodiment of vapid celebrity liberalism and said it showed that there is so little enthusiasm for Biden’s reelection that he can only attract excitement by association. A lesser pundit performing the role of Democrat to Be Determined might have made dubious claims about Biden’s vitality and appeal; there was also the possibility of being sucked into a culture-war argument about the racial overtones of Lizzo discourse. Instead, Tarlov explained that leveraging celebrity support is essentially a financial necessity for candidates on every part of the political spectrum, pointing out that the $26 million Biden netted at Radio City translates into having, for example, 10 field offices in North Carolina. The answer moved the conversation away from less defensible (or at least more hostile) ground and toward territory on which she could point out Trump’s longtime association with Vanilla Ice, which made for good banter.

Tarlov doesn’t catastrophize the decisions of Democratic politicians—which is a great way to make hay as a center- or left-of-center pundit, historically!—or, on the other hand, let herself get wound up and defensive about her co-workers’ attacks thereon. This puts a ceiling on her Q rating, probably. She rarely shows up in viral clips because she doesn’t tend to eviscerate anyone or lose it on air. Panic and gloating go viral; reality-based exposition doesn’t. But it makes for viewing that is entertaining and, of all things to be saying about Fox News programming, informative. By speaking to her colleagues as if they are her social peers—like humans might actually talk to each other, instead of competitors in a contest to see who can be the most provocative—she gets them to actually listen to what she’s saying, and she gains the space to, for example, interject that crime rates have gone “way down”—not down “a little”—in New York City during Biden’s term.

Is this effort accomplishing anything? Surveys do say there are Fox viewers who identify as independent voters. Maybe Tarlov is persuading some of them, or at least lowering the temperature of political discourse by exposing them to less threatening explanations for Democratic positions than they might otherwise see.

In the bigger picture, she takes the air out of Fox’s delusion that it speaks for the average citizen—the way its stars, going back to Bill O’Reilly , have claimed to be representatives of the real America. There’s a temptation for TV Democrats on Fox and elsewhere to insist that they are actually the authentic ones, but Tarlov doesn’t try to out-blue-collar anyone—“I can’t be anything else but a tall Jewish girl from Tribeca,” she once said. By being so genial and non-confrontational, though, she gets her colleagues to let the mask slip a bit. They talk to each other casually and with affection, leaving one with the strong suspicion that they are all, in fact, cosmopolitan television performers who get along well because they have a lot in common. And there’s nothing wrong with that! We can’t all be the living embodiment of a commercial for a five-ton pickup truck. Whether or not she’s helping Joe Biden win the election, getting that message across on Fox News, however implicitly, is a public service.

Correction, May 15, 2024: This article originally misstated that Lisa Kennedy Montgomery, known as “Kennedy,” is a co-host of The Five. She has guest hosted.

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In the Corporate Joust, Don’t Choose Jealousy

Go-getting colleagues can be so annoying — but try taking notes.

Credit... Margeaux Walter for The New York Times

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By Roxane Gay

Published May 11, 2024 Updated May 14, 2024

Send questions about the office, money, careers and work-life balance to [email protected] . Include your name and location, or a request to remain anonymous. Letters may be edited.

Hating the Game

I am one of three senior managers within a “highly matrixed organization.” I am very close with Manager 1, but she and I constantly raise our eyebrows at Manager 3, who is excellent at creating opportunities for visibility. In meetings with middle management, she finds ways to keep the attention of management for longer, sometimes by interjecting when we’re speaking with unrelated but attention-grabbing points. She regularly finds time to take on projects beyond the scope of our work. For example, she started a learning series for the younger associate managers. This is great for the team, and Manager 1 and I have participated, but Manager 3 went out of her way to brand the series as HERS. Manager 1 and I frequently host trainings, too, but we never thought to brand them and tell the entire organization. Most recently, Manager 3 announced that she was starting a “Get to know our executives” series and would be interviewing them herself for the whole organization. Though I am angry she is playing the game better than I am, I don’t want my job to be a game! I prefer to come in and do a good job at my actual job description! When you look at the numbers, my brands are actually outperforming hers. But, with all the visibility she earns, I am beginning to feel like the work of my actual job isn’t what matters. If these attention-seeking endeavors were actually part of the job, I could take them on. When Manager 1 or I try something new or host a training, we loop each other in. We are in lock step and want each other to succeed. We both feel that the goal of Manager 3 is to bury us, and it’s making both of us miserable (and nervous for the next time a promotion opens up). What would you do in our shoes? — Anonymous

Manager 3 is clearly willing to take initiative. I can see why that could be grating, but instead of becoming frustrated, perhaps you should adopt some of the strategies that serve her so well. You say that she’s going beyond the “actual job description,” but that is, generally, what it takes to succeed in almost any endeavor. You want your professional life to arrange itself according to your preferences, but the only way to achieve that is to be self-employed. If you simply want to work to the job description, as is your right, that’s fine! But you can’t do that and resent people who choose to do more.

Now, the most interesting part of your letter is that you have better numbers. Find ways to highlight that! You don’t even need to bring Manager 3 into that conversation. You’re succeeding — let it be known! When you carry out interesting ideas, take credit. Your colleague is really good at self-promotion. Instead of being angry with her, consider which of her strategies you can adopt. There are ways of “playing the game” that don’t feel like you’re playing the game.

Blocking My Blessings

I was nominated to receive an industry recognition award, but I declined. This is the first year for the award, which is for “an assistant the lead has worked with who went above and beyond for a project.” There is also a list of technical, problem solving and creative skills to be included for consideration. I declined because of the wording “above and beyond.” One cannot be nominated because they did a good or even great job, or accomplished all the skills on the list. One had to have done even more than was ever expected. Who could ever live up to that expectation? The people who nominated me are upset I declined. They nominated me to show their appreciation for my work. This award is being given to a number of recipients. I wasn’t the only nominee. The group has other project-based awards decided by a jury. Should I change my answer and accept the nomination? — Anonymous

I warmly encourage you to stop overthinking a recognition you’ve clearly earned. I don’t really understand why you took yourself out of consideration based on semantics. The people who nominated you believe that you went above and beyond, and that’s all you need to know. Yes, you should let the appropriate people know that you’ve changed your mind, and are grateful for the consideration.

The Work of Politics

I was disturbed to hear my ad agency owner speak disparagingly of a potential client who told him she moved out of Florida because of the political environment. In recounting her story, the owner said multiple times that clients should not mix politics and work. He felt like she wildly overstepped for even mentioning that she moved for political reasons and would not take on her project. In this time of extreme partisan beliefs — but high stakes for democracy — what are the new rules for discussing politics (which seems to be affecting everything, including our business and our clients) in the workplace? — Anonymous

When someone becomes upset about political conversations, it’s because they have political stances that they aren’t comfortable sharing. Your company’s owner clearly values his stances over making money, which is … interesting. It’s great when people have the courage of their convictions. I find it nearly impossible to separate politics from work, education and our daily lives because everything is, in fact, connected. We cannot abandon who we are and how we are affected by politics when we clock in and then pick our identity back up at the end of the workday. Anyone who asks that of their colleagues is asking the impossible.

Now, this doesn’t mean that people should spend their work life foisting their politics on their co-workers. Common sense should dictate how and when we discuss politics in any environment. That said, I have no idea what the new rules are, but unfortunately, I am guessing that they are exactly the same as the old rules, and the old rules only ever served people who wanted to hoard power and never be challenged.

Body Horrors

I’ve had a cubicle in a small shared work space for about a year. There are several offices on either side. Most people go into their offices and close the door, but there is one older gentleman who has an office right across from my desk and never shuts his door. I hear every detail of his phone calls. Sometimes, he falls asleep and snores, but the really obnoxious part is that he burps, loudly and often. It’s disgusting. Quiet is not to be expected in a shared office space, but personal noises should either be kept to a minimum or done behind closed doors. I talked to management and they said they would speak to him, but I don’t know if they did. I talked to him myself after a few weeks and asked him, politely, if he would mind closing his door at least sometimes. He sort of mumbled and after that stopped saying hello. I don’t care, but he still doesn’t close his door. I use headphones a lot of the time, but that is uncomfortable all day. Do I have to suck it up? — Anonymous

You’ve done everything that I would suggest in your position. I can imagine how unbearable it must be to have to listen to someone burping all day. Maybe he has a medical condition. Maybe he is unaware that he is so gassy. Who knows? Other than an excellent pair of noise canceling headphones, requesting a new cubicle is going to be your best bet for finding some peace.

Roxane Gay is the author, most recently, of “Opinions: A Decade of Arguments, Criticism, and Minding Other People’s Business” and a contributing Opinion writer. Write to her at [email protected] . More about Roxane Gay

Advice From a Work Friend

Roxane gay offers tips on office interactions, money, career and work-life balance..

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Caring colleagues might mean well, but your taking on new and more projects is none of their concern . You’re simply interested in developing a more robust skill set and should communicate that.

Expressing your political views nonstop at the office can backfire. While we can and should learn from one another , our every interaction need not be so intensely didactic.

Many organizations are grappling with how to manage A.I. in the workplace. A good place to start is developing guidelines .

To get out of a dead-end job, you have to be relentless . Start by mapping out what a path to quitting looks like.

If you’re the boss and have just made a difficult decision, over-explaining that you did what was best for everyone won’t help.

Khloé Kardashian Made Tristan Thompson Do Three Paternity Tests For Their Son Tatum Because He Looks So Much Like Her Brother Rob Kardashian

Khloé said baby Tatum looks so much like her brother Rob that she had to ask him if he'd ever donated sperm because she feared a "disgusting" IVF mix-up.

BuzzFeed Staff

When Khloé Kardashian finally revealed her son Tatum’s face on his first birthday last July, fans were floored by how much he looked like her younger brother, Rob Kardashian .

View this photo on Instagram

Khloé shares Tatum with her ex Tristan Thompson , but it is undeniable that her family’s genes dominate in the little boy. In fact, Khloé and her family often comment on Tatum’s resemblance to his uncle Rob on their family's reality show The Kardashians and on social media.

But khloé perhaps went a little too far when she discussed the topic during a recent appearance on her ob-gyn dr. thaïs aliabadi’s she md podcast, where she said that her son looks so much like her brother that she feared doctors accidentally used his sperm instead of tristan’s., in case you didn’t know, tatum was born via surrogate, which means that doctors created an embryo using khloé’s egg and tristan’s sperm before implanting it into the surrogate’s uterus via ivf., discussing tatum on the podcast, khloé said: “my son looks just like my brother, and my brother is one of my favorite people.”.

“He looks more like Rob than he looks like anyone else,” Dr. Aliabadi agreed. “He could be his son!”

“And because he’s an IVF baby, or a surrogate baby, I was like: ‘Rob, did you ever donate sperm somewhere?’” Khloé said, before admitting: “Like, I made Tristan do three DNA tests for Tatum; he was so offended. And I’m like: ‘But he doesn’t look like you!’”

Khloe Kardashian in a black top with long blonde hair speaking into a microphone during an interview

When presented with the idea that she could have had a baby with her brother, Khloé replied: “With this family, it would not surprise me — but that would be so disgusting.”

“I remember, [Dr. Aliabadi] was like: ‘You’ve already done a DNA test!’ and I was like: ‘I need to do another one, I need to figure it out,’” she concluded.

Elsewhere in the same podcast, Khloé opened up about how “detached” she felt from Tatum throughout her surrogate’s pregnancy, and even during the first few months after his birth due to Tristan’s paternity scandal.

Khloé Kardashian holding her newborn in a hospital bed, both in comfy attire, with a relaxed and content expression

If you didn’t know, Khloé found out “with the rest of the world” that Tristan had secretly fathered a baby with another woman in December 2022 — just weeks after they’d gone forward with their surrogacy plans.

In addition to hiding his son from her, Tristan was also battling a related court case over his paternity and child support issues, while Khloé was none the wiser.

As a result, Khloé spent the surrogate’s pregnancy “in denial” that it was even happening, and when Dr. Aliabadi called to say that her surrogate would need to give birth slightly earlier than planned, Khloé was so upset that she “started hysterically crying.”

Because of how distressed Khloé was, her OB-GYN ended up offering to take her newborn son home with her until she was “ready to pick him up.”

Ultimately, Khloé was able to attend the birth and look after Tatum herself following his arrival, but she has been opening up about battling feelings of “guilt” because of how long it took for her to bond with him.

Topics in this article

Khloe Kardashian
Robert Kardashian
Tristan Thompson

'I'm really curious about the dog': Trump weighs in on Kristi Noem at a private fundraiser

South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem wearing MAGA hat

Donald Trump told a room of wealthy donors in Manhattan on Tuesday night that he had questions about Cricket, the 14-month-old wirehaired pointer who was shot and killed by South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem , an account that has haunted Noem as the race to be Trump’s running mate heats up.

During a private fundraiser, Trump weighed in on the firestorm that followed Noem’s admission in her new book that she had shot her young dog dead 20 years ago. Trump mused about Cricket’s fate in stem-winding remarks and described Noem as controversial, according to three sources who were in the room.

The governor was one of several “special guests” at the event, which included rumored vice presidential hopefuls Sens. Marco Rubio of Florida and Tim Scott of South Carolina, and North Dakota Gov. Doug Burgum, each of whom were introduced by Trump. The former president also shouted out some attendees, including former New York Rep. Lee Zeldin and New York state GOP Chairman Ed Cox.

“What a week!” Trump said when he got to Noem, adding, “The dog, the dog!”

“I’m really curious,” Trump said, “about the dog.”

Trump riffed on Cricket’s story — a tale that has prompted a fierce public backlash — before sounding a positive note as he returned to talk about longtime ally Noem and touted her steadfast support for him over the years.

“She’s been there for us for a long time,” Trump said. “She’s loyal, she’s great.”

One of the sources in the room said Trump was more bemused than critical about the dog controversy.

The Trump campaign did not respond to a request for comment.

In a statement Wednesday via text message, a spokesperson for Noem said the governor “appreciated President Trump’s words of support of her leadership during her time as Governor and was glad to attend the event at his request."

"Thank you for advertising Governor Noem’s NYT bestseller ‘No Going Back’ — she is very proud of its success,” Ian Fury added in his text message.

Trump has so far largely tried to avoid weighing in on the dog controversy, even as Noem has taken criticism from both Republicans and Democrats. During a radio interview Tuesday on "The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show," Trump simply said that Noem had “had a bad week. We all have bad weeks.”

“Couple of rough stories, there’s no question about it,” he said. “Until this week, she was doing incredibly well. And she got hit hard and sometimes you do books and you have some guy writing a book and you maybe don’t read it as carefully as you should, you know.”

Two sources said the evening, hosted by billionaire Howard Lutnick, raised more than $10 million. It was co-hosted by top Republican donors such as billionaire businessman John Catsimatidis, Trump’s former ambassador to the United Kingdom Woody Johnson, and billionaire Robert Mercer and his daughter Rebekah.

Scrutiny of Trump’s possible VP picks has grown as the Republican convention — set for July in Wisconsin — approaches, and as Trump spends hours each week locked in a Manhattan courtroom where he is on trial and where he has urged more support from his allies.

Burgum appeared in court with Trump on Tuesday, on the campaign trail last weekend and at a recent donor retreat , which Rubio, Scott and others also attended.

Noem has faced a particularly grueling news cycle over the story of how she shot her ill-fated dog — so much so that she appeared to cut short her promotional book tour citing “bad weather.”

Noem has defended killing Cricket, doubling and tripling down on the decision in interviews after writing how her late puppy proved “untrainable” and “less than worthless” as a hunting dog.

“We were her second chance,” Noem told Fox News host Sean Hannity in an interview shortly after the story surfaced. “The day she was put down was a day that she massacred livestock that were part of our neighbors. She attacked me. And it was a hard decision.”

Noem later went as far as suggesting that President Joe Biden’s dog Commander, who was exiled from the White House after repeatedly biting Secret Service agents, should suffer a similar fate.

Noem also recounted shooting a “disgusting, musky, rancid” family goat in her book, “No Going Back: The Truth on What’s Wrong with Politics and How We Move America Forward,” and made unverified claims about meeting North Korean dictator Kim Jong Un .

Katherine Doyle is a White House reporter for NBC News.

Matt Dixon is a senior national politics reporter for NBC News, based in Florida.

Jonathan Allen is a senior national politics reporter for NBC News, based in Washington.

A 62-year-old boomer without a college degree can't land a higher-paying job — and she doesn't see herself ever being able to fully retire

Crystal, 62, has struggled to earn more money while lacking a college degree.
She anticipates having to work part-time in retirement to supplement Social Security.
She didn't always expect to be relying on her sole income, and her savings are minimal.

Crystal doesn't see herself enjoying her "golden years" anytime soon.

At 62 years old, Crystal — who requested her last name be withheld for privacy — envisions an ideal world where she could soon set her sights on a comfortable retirement and begin collecting Social Security with enough extra money in the bank to cover all of her expenses.

But that's not the situation she's found herself in. She's worked as an administrative assistant for nearly two decades and said she's barely making more now than she did when she started the job. Her lack of a college degree and the challenges older adults face in the labor market have made it difficult for her to find work elsewhere.

With inflation driving prices up for her basic goods, along with her health expenses and mortgage payments, she sees work — whether full or part-time — in her future.

"I've had the 401(k), but I put pretty much the minimum in it because I need my paycheck to survive," Crystal told Business Insider. "It's a one-income house here, so it's up to me, and there's no extra, really, to save for retirement. And I was always counting on Social Security, knowing I can't live on it only, but I just thought it would be more than what it's going to be."

Crystal has just over $70,000 in savings, according to documents verified by BI, and she anticipates getting around $1,200 a month in Social Security. That would barely be enough to cover her health insurance, she said — and while her mortgage payments on her townhouse are low, she has a ways to go before she will own the house free and clear.

Additionally, she didn't always know she would be relying on just her sole income to get by. Before she got divorced 19 years ago, Crystal said her then-husband was making good wages at his job, and while she was still working during that time, her earnings were "secondary income," used for day-to-day expenses like groceries.

Crystal's concerns are shared widely across her age group. A recent survey from AARP found that, among Americans aged 50 and above, one in five of them reported having no retirement savings — and over half of them don't think they'll have enough money to sustain them in retirement. Separately, a report from the Alliance for Lifetime Income's Retirement Income Institute found that over half of a cohort called "peak boomers," or those born between 1959 and 1964, have $250,000 or less in assets.

It means that a lot of them will primarily rely on Social Security — and the program is projected to no longer be able to pay out full benefits by 2035 unless Congress intervenes.

'It's scary out there'

It's not for a lack of trying. Crystal said that she's done just about all she could to earn more income — she sent out her résumé and filled out dozens of online applications and almost never heard back.

"With my age, I was just not attractive on paper, and not having a college degree was always a factor, too," Crystal said. "I could send out 200 applications and résumés and maybe get two calls and then not even be invited in for an interview."

According to a Wall Street Journal analysis of US Census Bureau data from 2022, 67.2% of adults 55 and older do not have a bachelor's degree. While some jobs, like Walmart, have removed degree requirements from their job postings, the physical demands of that type of work are often unsustainable for older adults.

"I go to the grocery store and I see several of the cashiers here are seniors, quite a bit older than me, and they look so uncomfortable," Crystal said. "I know they're struggling to stand on this concrete floor and bag groceries all day. You can tell they're not happy, but they need that extra money."

Other "peak boomers" have echoed Crystal's concerns. Diane Senffner, a 63-year-old, previously told BI that her age has made it especially challenging to find full-time work after losing her job during the pandemic, and her physical constraints limit what she can do.

"I just say to my friends as a cautionary tale, if you are my age and you have a job, you better stay with it, because nobody is hiring you," Senffner said.

With uncertainty surrounding the future of Social Security — and confusion regarding how much workers actually need to be saved up for retirement — Crystal said that all she can do is hope she'll have enough money to keep her afloat as she gets older.

"It's scary out there," she said. "I want to retire, but I feel like I'm never going to be able to."

Are you concerned about retirement, or have you found a way to prepare? Share your story with this reporter at [email protected].

Watch: Nearly 50,000 tech workers have been laid off — but there's a hack to avoid layoffs

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Dear Mother Wit: "My Daughter Won't Do Her Homework On Time. I'm Losing
Презентация по английскому языку "The Present Perfect Tense" (5 класс)
Teen girl and homework stock image. Image of time, smiling
How To Deal With Homework Frustrations
Verveeld meisje doet geen huiswerk Cartoon Vector Clipart
Girl who does not finish homework

VIDEO

She Did Not 💀

COMMENTS

Homework doesn't align with our family values. Here's how I explain
The hours between after school and bedtime are so limited. My girls get home at about 3:45 p.m. and are off to bed by 6:30 p.m. Factor in dinner time, I have only two hours to offer them the after ...
Does she do her homework?
3. Does she do her homework? To ask a question, we need to use an auxiliary verb at the beginning of the sentence. In our case, the auxiliary verb is do: this is called do-support. But since "she" is a singular third-person pronoun, we turn do into does. The first do carries the third-person ending s (or es) instead of the second.
How to Get Children to Do Homework
My daughter Nina just turned 8 (Feb 11). She does not like to do homework one bit. Her teacher gives her homework every day except Friday. She loves Fridays because she doesn't like homework. She always hides her homework under her bed, refuses to do her homework, and in the More morning she tells her teacher "I lost it last night and can't ...
What to Do When Teens Refuse to Do Homework or Fail a Class
The first step is to ask your teen what is going on. Notice the word ask. That means you don't start the conversation with accusations, yelling, blame, or threats. Instead, enter into the conversation with a sense of curiosity to see if you can help uncover the possible reasons why he or she isn't getting their homework done or passing the ...
My Child Refuses To Do Homework
Don't get sucked into arguments with your child about homework. Make it very clear that if they don't do their homework, then the next part of their night does not begin. Keep discussions simple. Say to your child: "Right now is homework time. The sooner you get it done, the sooner you can have free time.".
'There's only so far I can take them'
Jesse can't count on his mom to help with his homework because she struggled in school herself. "I had many difficulties in school," Jesse's mom told us for the same study. "I had ...
Homework Struggles May Not Be a Behavior Problem
Chelsea was in 10th grade the first time I told her directly to stop doing her homework and get some sleep. I had been working with her since she was in middle school, treating her anxiety disorder.
How To Handle A Student Who Doesn't Do Homework?
2. Give them a warning. Giving out a simple warning would be an ideal approach when handling students who have not completed their work. This means letting them know of any consequences or possible punishments that can be given if they do not complete their homework. 3. Let them know what your role is as a teacher.
R3 Do And Did
She doesn't do her grocery shopping at Cub. She didn't do her grocery shopping yesterday. They do not do their homework at the library. They didn't do their homework last night. Their company doesn't do business in Minnesota. They never did business here. The past tense form of "do" is "did." Did + not = didn't. Examples: I ...
Does Homework Really Help Students Learn?
Bempechat: I can't imagine that most new teachers would have the intuition Erin had in designing homework the way she did.. Ardizzone: Conversations with kids about homework, feeling you're being listened to—that's such a big part of wanting to do homework….I grew up in Westchester County.It was a pretty demanding school district. My junior year English teacher—I loved her—she ...
Is homework really necessary?
Mention that her teachers may say, "She's smart, but she doesn't work that hard." If she doesn't like the sound of that, she should ask herself what she wants them to say about her, and ...
Defiant Children Who Refuse To Do Homework: 30 Tips For Parents
4. Communicate regularly with your youngster's educators so that you can deal with any behavior patterns before they become a major problem. 5. Consider adding in break times (e.g., your child might work on her math homework for 15 minutes, and then take a 5 minute break).
The teacher believes that homework doesn't work in her classroom
Courtney White is a high school teacher in Alvarado, Texas, who never assigns homework. She recently sparked a debate on TikTok after explaining her stance on not assigning homework. Some ...
Negations in the Simple Present, don't or doesn't
Form of the Simple Present. I. don't stay doesn't stay. at home. We. don't wash doesn't wash. the family car. Doris. don't do doesn't do.
14-yr-old daughter who doesn't do homework : r/Parenting
14-yr-old daughter who doesn't do homework. Behaviour. I apologize for the long post. My daughter is a 9th grader, and is currently only passing 2 classes with a C. She has 3 D's and 2 F's. She either doesn't do her homework/schoolwork, or if she does actually do it, it is done halfway and with little effort. She is not stupid.
She doesn't do her homework
Spanish learning for everyone. For free. Translate She doesn't do her homework. See Spanish-English translations with audio pronunciations, examples, and word-by-word explanations.
chapter 5 cognitive Flashcards
Study with Quizlet and memorize flashcards containing terms like Kohlberg classified moral responses into three levels _____, Jenny does her homework because she is afraid that if she doesn't, her parents will get angry with her and she will get in trouble. According to Kohlberg, Jenny's actions exemplify what stage of moral reasoning?, What is "moral dumbfounding"? and more.
she sometimes ............ her homework. A. doesn't do
Present / Future / Present Progressive / non Action Verbs › View. Choose the right one. A. He is having many awards. B. he haves many awards. C. he has many awards
She _________ her homework, yesterday.
C. chilly. D. lightning. E. freezing. How to use : Read the question carefully, then select one of the answers button. About grammarquiz.net. GrammarQuiz.Net - Improve your knowledge of English grammar, the best way to kill your free time. She _________ her homework, yesterday. A. do B. does C. doing D. did - Tenses Quiz.
PSY 207 Chapter 10 Quiz
Jenny does her homework because she is afraid that if she doesn't, her parents will get angry with her and she will get in trouble. According to Kohlberg, Jenny's actions exemplify what stage of moral reasoning? ... establishing routines for homework and chores. monitoring children's behavior. restricting time spent watching television. 16 of 25.
She doesn't do her homework
Traduce she doesn't do her homework. Ver traducciones en inglés y español con pronunciaciones de audio, ejemplos y traducciones palabra por palabra. ... doesn't. no. do. hacer. her. su. ella. homework. la tarea. Ejemplos. Estos ejemplos aún no se han verificado. I failed your daughter because she doesn't do her homework. Reprobé a su hija ...
Kate Hudson Doesn't 'Overthink' Strained Relationship with Dad Bill
The actress-singer has said she doesn't "really have" a relationship with her biological father Kate Hudson is at peace with where things stand with her biological father. The star was born ...
Sarah Paulson Doesn't Live with Girlfriend Holland Taylor After Nearly
Sarah Paulson is getting candid about her living situation with girlfriend Holland Taylor . While appearing on the May 13 episode of the SmartLess podcast hosted by Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes and ...
Ronda Rousey's concussion revelation doesn't bother Daniel Cormier
That's essentially Daniel Cormier 's take on the situation surrounding his fellow UFC Hall of Famer. Rousey raised eyebrows in March when she admitted that too many concussions was the primary reason for her abrupt MMA retirement. A few weeks later, Rousey followed up to specify that she was concussed before her 2015 fight with Holly Holm ...
Doocy Asks KJP Whether Kamala Harris Will Run For Governor If 2024
Fox News White House correspondent Peter Doocy asked White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre whether Vice President Kamala Harris will run for governor if the 2024 election "doesn't go her way." Harris reportedly "joked to friends" that she would run for governor of California when ...
Fox News today: the network famous for going after liberals might have
Tarlov is, at the moment, the Fox network's most prominent liberal commentator. She began appearing on the network in 2017, having come to bookers' attention through a job working for Douglas ...
The Annoying, Go-Getting Colleague: Beat Her or Emulate Her?
Other than an excellent pair of noise canceling headphones, requesting a new cubicle is going to be your best bet for finding some peace. Roxane Gay is the author, most recently, of "Opinions: A ...
Khloé Asked Her Brother Rob If He'd Ever Donated Sperm Because She
Discussing Tatum on the podcast, Khloé said: "My son looks just like my brother, and my brother is one of my favorite people.". "He looks more like Rob than he looks like anyone else," Dr. Aliabadi agreed. "He could be his son!". "And because he's an IVF baby, or a surrogate baby, I was like: 'Rob, did you ever donate sperm ...
Trump weighs in on Kristi Noem: 'I'm really curious about the dog'
The former president also shouted out some attendees, including former New York Rep. Lee Zeldin and New York state GOP Chairman Ed Cox. "What a week!". Trump said when he got to Noem, adding ...
62-Year-Old Boomer Without College Degree Can't Retire, Get Better Job
A 62-year-old boomer without a college degree can't land a higher-paying job — and she doesn't see herself ever being able to fully retire. Crystal, 62, has struggled to earn more money while ...