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The 50 Best Jokes For Your Best Man Speech

As the best man, you’re tasked with giving the toast—maybe the most famous one of the evening. For the big speech, it’s important to have some jokes scattered throughout. The couple gets to be sentimental. Her father gets to be sad and nostalgic. You need to bring the funny like it’s showtime at the Apollo. That’s no easy task, either. Luckily, there are dozens of jokes that have already been written that you can plug your buddy’s name into and carry on. We compiled some of our favorites for you here. Good luck!

Good evening everyone. I’m so happy to preside over the only five minutes that the bride didn’t plan. Of course, I’m only kidding. We went over the speech 40 minutes ago in the hall.

It’s been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers.

We’ve reached the moment in the evening where we get to watch the groom figet and worry in anticipation. Yes, everyone, I’ve been asked by the staff to give him the bill.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Before I begin, I just want to apologize for not being an experienced public speaker. I’m probably going to spend most of the time looking at this piece of paper in my hands. Oh, it’s not my notes – it’s a picture of the triple Jameson I’m going to down as soon as this is over.

I just heard there was a lucrative pool on the length of the Best Man’s speech. I put my money on 40 minutes, so settle in…

Before I begin my speech, there’s just one order of business I’ve been asked to take care of. *Hold up pair of trousers with padlock on them* These are Jack’s Chastity Pants. I know he’s given keys out to various ladies over the years, but since he is now a married man, he’d like to get those copies back, so Jill is the only one with access. *Wait for the keys you strategically handed out to wedding guests to be brought up*

My name is Peter and I am the Best Man. Many of you would beg to differ, but shut up – I know your secrets.

Just a couple of rules before we begin. If you have a mobile phone – leave it switched on, entertain yourselves. And if anyone texts you any good jokes, kindly pass them up to the front.”

I’ve been told I won’t get away with a few thank yous and a quick toast. Apparently, as Best Man, I’m supposed to sing the Groom’s praises and talk about his good qualities. Unfortunately, I can’t sing and I won’t lie.

My speech today will be like a mini-skirt.  Long enough to cover the essentials but short enough to hold your attention!

Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen – Before I came here today one of my good friends gave me some advice on giving this speech. He said think of it like walking through a nudist camp, it’s only hard for the first minute.

Now he’s getting a bit older he’s turning his attention more and more to gadgets, constantly buying stuff from ebay, amazon and I want one of those dot com. I swear he didn’t have an interest in women until he overheard someone say the secret to women was knowing what buttons to press.

I read somewhere the perfect best man speech should last as long as it takes for the groom to make love. So ladies and gentlemen, please raise a glass to the happy couple!

Sally is a bright, charming, wonderful woman, who deserves a good husband. It’s such a shame Harry swooped in before she could find one.

I think the main reason we’ve lasted as friends all these years is because you’re geographically convenient…and you had a trampoline.

Jack is the kindest friend anyone could ask for; a man whose philanthropy knows no bounds. ‘Generosity’ should be his middle name. He would do anything for me; like helping write a section of the best man speech because you forgot about it until late last night at the bar!

Jack was in a pub when he proposed. No, really, it was actually very romantic – he got up on one knee.

It’s strange to be giving a speech like this one, because my parents always told me that if I had nothing good to say about someone, I should just be quiet.

Seeing the happy couple walking down the aisle earlier today, I’m sure we all agree that the bride looked simply stunning. The groom, on the other hand, simply looked stunned.

So I’m the best man, although I think I was picked by default since the groom doesn’t really have any other friends.

I can only say in my defense that Mike and I share a common sense of humor so if this speech is in anyway unfunny please “Feel Free to Blame Mike.”

I’d also like to congratulate Keith on a truly magnificent speech, I always knew it would be hard to follow, and I was right, I could hardly follow a word of it.

John did tell me that the vicar was firmly against sex before marriage. However, Jane did assure him it would only take a couple of minutes.

Rest assured though, unlike most traditional best man speeches, which are full of sexual innuendo, I’ve promised Dan and Anne that if there is anything slightly risqué, I’ll whip it out immediately …”

Although Ria did actually tell me Paul has always brightened up her life. Well, she actually said he never turned the lights off but it amounts to the same thing pretty much.

I’ll try to keep my speech short, because every extra minute I speak is an extra minute’s delay in witnessing how the Groom’s dance lessons worked out.

I do have to say though how lucky you are Dave, you’re leaving with a beautiful wife whom you love. And you, Miranda, you get to go home with such a nice new dress and beautiful bouquet of flowers, it’s great.

Jill, you are an amazing woman who deserves a wonderful husband. And I promise you I won’t rest until I get to the bottom of what’s gone wrong here.

Being asked to be the best man is about five minutes of glowing pride, followed by an eternity of panic and misery. Linda, I expect you had a similar experience when Paul asked you to be his wife.

I spoke to both Sally and Paul before the Wedding and I asked Paul what he was looking for in Marriage – he said “Love, happiness and a long life together.” When I asked Sally the same question – she replied – A coffee percolator!

Speaking of Jane, I would like to say how beautiful she looks today in that fantastic dress …Dan likes it too, as he told me in the church it will blend in just nicely well with the rest of the kitchen.

Someone once said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership, but anyone who believes that clearly knows nothing about women or fractions!”

When I saw Linda heading up the aisle with her father, I thought “At last she’s seen sense, and got herself a man with looks and money.”

Before proposing, Paul went to ask Linda’s father for her hand in marriage. He said that it was fine by him, providing Paul took the hand that had spent 20 years fishing into his wallet!

I recognize my place here; being best man at a wedding is like being the dead body at a funeral. You’re expected to be there, but if you say too much people start freaking out.

If you can’t hear me in the back, let the silence in the front assure you that you’re not really missing out on anything.

A Best Man is like a dog. You love him, care about him, and he’s only thrown up and ruined your upholstery twice.

I would like to start by saying what a pleasure it is to be Best Man at Jack and Jill’s wedding. Jack made me compete for this honor today, but I was able to beat Mark the Bartender over there in rock-paper-scissors, so here I am!

I found the speech length really difficult to settle on. At one point, it ran to almost 70 minutes, so I cut it down to a five-minute speech but I just felt like too many important things were being left out. So I came to a compromise – I’m going to read the five-minute speech. Then straight afterwards, I’ll do 70-minute one and you guys can tell me which speech I should use.

What can you say about a man who came from humble beginnings and is now rising to the top of his industry based solely on his intelligence, grit and willpower? A man whose charisma knows no bounds and who has already distinguished himself amongst his peers? Because I’m trying to write my Tinder profile and I’m having trouble summarizing myself.

When I sat down to write this speech I Googled “perfect best man speech”, but you had to pay to read the examples and I didn’t think it was worth it, so I’m gonna wing it.

I admit, I’m extremely nervous right now. As the people sitting near to me at the table can testify, it really is possible to smell fear.”

I must admit, I’m not used to speaking in public. Until now I thought a toastmaster was a kitchen appliance.

The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

You know, it’s been said that being asked to be best man is like being asked to make love to Camilla Parker Bowles.. It’s a great honor but you don’t really want to do it!

I’ve been anxious about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately last night I slept like a baby. Waking up every two hours and bawling my eyes out. Ten minutes ago, I had to ask a complete stranger to burp me.

Dave was telling me that the amazing meal this evening was charged on a cost-per-head basis, so, on the bride and groom’s behalf, I’d like to thank the following people for not coming…

What’s the difference between in-laws and out-laws? Outlaws are wanted.”

Leading up to today John and Jane were having an issue with the seating plan. Who would sit comfortably in here & who would have to get up and stand during the speeches so we decided to use wedding present list, biggest presents at front and work it back from there. So hopefully you can hear me at the back when I say on behalf of Jane and John thank‐you very much for the teaspoons.

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30 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches

Handy one-liners to make the guests lol.

If you've read our post on how to make a great best man speech , you'll know that we recommend starting with a joke, and here, we're sharing 30 foolproof examples! The beauty of this list is that it works for any wedding speech, whether you're a groom, bride, best man, bridesmaid, groomsman, bridesman, groomsmaid, father of the bride, father of the groom, mother of the bride, mother of the groom, granny or grandad, or just a close pal with a knack for public speaking! Boasting everything from eye roll-worthy classics to offbeat gags, our round-up of funny opening lines for wedding speeches is sure to have something to suit your personal style, and many of them can be customised to pack an even bigger punch on the day. Kick off with one of these gems, and you'll not only put the audience at ease, you'll set yourself up for a terrific wedding speech!

25 Funny Opening Lines for Wedding Speeches

Note: [Name] can indicate yourself, the bride/groom, the couple as a whole, or another member of the bridal party!

1. “Gosh, what an emotional day it’s been. Even the cake is in tiers!”

2. “Hi everyone! I’m [Name] and it’s time for me to give the speech I frantically scribbled down 15 minutes ago!”

3. "The couple have requested that I don't share any embarrassing stories... so that's it from me! Thanks for listening!"

4. "[Name], I love you so much, and I really hope you'll feel the same about me after you hear my speech."

5. "I just want to start by congratulating [previous speaker's Name] on their wonderful speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow and I was right, I couldn't follow a word of it."

6. "The couple actually had a bit of trouble finding someone to make a speech today. They started by asking their funniest friend, and they said no. Then they asked their most charming friend, and they said no. After that, they asked their best-looking friend and, again, they said no. Then they asked me, and, after already turning them down three times, I couldn't refuse again."

7. "Ladies and gentlemen, today we witnessed a unique event in history - it's the first and presumably last time anyone has trusted me to give a speech!"

8. "[Name] and I share the same sense of humour, so if you don't like my jokes, you can blame them!"

9. "Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to celebrate something truly magical. Something so rare and fortuitous and wonderful that it simply must be celebrated. I am, of course, talking about the open bar/donut wall/photo booth/[Name] wearing a tie ."

10. "Where do I start with [Name]? They're kind, intelligent, gorgeous, charming... [directed at them] sorry, I'm having trouble reading your writing, you'll have to tell me the rest later."

11. "I think we can all agree that it's been a fantastic day. But unfortunately that ends right here with my speech."

12. "Loyal. Kind. Honest. Generous... That's enough about me, I'm here to talk about [Name]!"

13. "I'd like to begin my speech by giving the happy couple some relationship advice, but unfortunately I'm single and spend most of my time trying to coax my cat into little outfits/browsing Doctor Who fan sites/playing Rock Paper Scissors with Alexa."

14. "A few months ago, [Name] called me up and asked, 'What are your feelings on marriage?' I had to tell them that, while I was very flattered, I wasn't ready to settle down just yet."

15. "Can everyone hear me OK? If you can't hear me in the back, the silence from the people at the front should reassure you that you're not missing anything."

16. "Hello everyone! I'm [Name]. I'm sure you all know me as (Name's best friend/sister/mum/dad), but if you don't, well done on sneaking into the wedding unnoticed!"

17. "Before I begin, I must explain that, this morning, [Name] asked me to remove anything resembling innuendo from my speech. Unfortunately, I didn't have time to go through it again, but if I come across anything risqué, I'll whip it out immediately."

18. "[Name] knows that I'm a bit nervous about this speech, and they gave me some great advice. They said 'Don't try to be too charming, witty or intellectual... just be yourself!'"

19. "All of us gathered together in this room, we've got something really important in common - none of us have got a clue what I'm going to say next!"

20. "I was told that the secret to a good speech is to start with something that's relevant to everyone in the audience. So here it goes - all of your cars have been stolen."

21. "I want to start by saying that, of all the weddings I've attended over the years, this one is, by far, the most recent."

22. "I'd like to start by congratulating [Name] on their excellent taste... in speakers."

23. "Before we start, can everybody do me a favour and get up off their seats? Now can everyone take one step backward, please? Now can everyone move one step to the right? And now can everyone move one step left? Thank you. Someone told me that the key to giving a good speech was to move people, but I think they must have been having me on, because this is going terribly!"

24. "I'm so happy to be overseeing the only five minutes of today that [bride or groom's Name] didn't plan. Only joking, they went over my speech with me at the bar half an hour ago. [Pulls extra page out of pocket] But I did manage to hide one page!"

25. Guys, before I start, just some housekeeping notes, the venue has asked that you don't stand on any of the chairs and tables for my standing ovation."

26 . I sincerely hope that each day of [Insert names] marriage is better than the the one before, the only thing is that also means they'll look back on today, their wedding day, and say that it was the worst day of their lives.

27. I’ve been worried about giving this speech for a while now. You'll be glad to hear, that last night I slept like a baby. I woke up every two hours, bawling my eyes out.

28. Please keep clapping and cheering to a minimum. I’m terribly hungover. I know, you shouldn’t drink the night before a wedding, but I couldn’t very well let the groom/bride drink alone, could I?

29. Just some last messages here to read out: one from [NAME’S] football team for [PARTNER] " Apologies we couldn’t all be there today, good luck with [NAME], we found him/her to be useless in most positions, but wishing you all the best for tonight ."

30. Before I start ladies and gentlemen, let us observe a few moments of silence in memory of the 3,000 prawns, 250 chickens, and the many, many carnations, roses and wedding coordinators who selflessly gave their lives to make this wedding celebration possible.

Found your opening line for your wedding speech? We also have a handy checklist of people you need to remember to thank !

Image credits

Marc lawson photography, via one fab day, see more in:.

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20 Unique Best Man Speech One Liners

• 20th Nov, 2021

Jump to the good bits

Introduction.

The Best Man is known for a few cheeky one liners. It’s almost tradition. A good Best Man speech one liner or two adds a nice bit of flavour to your speech. I have listed out a few good ones that you can use. Feel free to tweak them to suit you best. 

Unique Best Man speech one liners

• ‘An unmarried man is incomplete, a married man is… finished. No, that came out wrong.’ 
• ‘Don’t worry my speech won’t take too long today, because of my throat. Sarah has threatened to cut it if I go on for too long. And Tom has threatened to cut it if I mention anything about the stag weekend in Liverpool.’ 
• ‘Sarah deserves a wonderful successful loving husband. Thank goodness Tom married her before she found one.’ 
• ‘The marriage ceremony, asks that couples take each other for better or for worse. Tom, in marrying Sarah you really couldn’t have done any better. Sarah in marrying Tom… it could be worse.’ 
• ‘When Tom met Sarah it was love at first sight. Pure and Simple. Sarah was pure and Tom was simple.’ 
• ‘A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.’ 
• ‘Marrying Tom is like winning the lottery but never having any money for the rest of your life.’ 
• ‘Love is blind, only marriage opens your eyes.’ 
• ‘I love marriage. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.’ 
• ‘Marriage after kids is basically a ‘who’s more tired? competition.’ 
• ‘Marriage is easy. It’s basically just deciding what to watch on Netflix.’ 
• ‘Marriage is basically peeing with the door open and not caring.’ 
• ‘Marriage is essentially being able to watch another person eat chicken wings without feeling sick.’ 
• ‘Marriage is spending the rest of your life trying to get out of debt with someone.’  

Interactive one liners

• During your speech, ask the Groom to put his hand over the Bride’s; then joke that it’s the last time the Groom will have the ‘upper hand’. 
• When the guest are applauding as you stand up just gesture for them to quieten down and say, ‘What a reception!’ 
• Stand up. Remove a peach from your pocket and hold it up for everyone to see. Say ‘I’m sorry, there’s been a misunderstanding on my part. I have nothing else prepared.’ Sit back down.  

Brave one liners 

• ‘I am actually a little nervous doing this, luckily I already tested it in front of a tough crowd, down the local old-folks home, and I think it went down quite well. They all pissed themselves anyway.’ 
• ‘Rest assured though, unlike most traditional best man speeches, which are full of sexual innuendo, I’ve promised Tom and Sarah that if there is anything slightly risqué, I’ll whip it out immediately.’ 
• ‘Tom is a great guy and he will no doubt be a great husband. Any girl is safe with him. He never lets his hands wander, they’re far too busy holding on to his money.’  

We hope you find the perfect fit from this list of Best Man speech one liners. Let us know how it goes and reach out if you have a one liner that you think should be added to the list!

Get the Best Man Speech Guidebook

If you are thinking about your upcoming Best Man duties or need to draft your speech in a hurry you can check out the book the Best Man Speech Guidebook for even more tips and a full list of Best Man speech hacks. It contains the important do’s and don’ts in wedding speech etiquette, some great one-liners, visual gag options, but most importantly a clear speech structure and tried and tested speech templates.

The Best Man guide

For more advice and ideas for all of your Best Man duties, check out our Ultimate Best Man Guide page.

More Best Man speech advice

• 12 Clever Best Man Speech Hacks
• Best Man Speech: 13 Must Do’s
• Best Man Speech: 10 Absolute Don’ts
• 3 Ideas For Best Man Speech Visual Gags
• How To Write A Best Man Speech: Part 1
• How To Write A Best Man Speech: Part 2
• Short Best Man Speech Template
• Funny Best Man Speech Template

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Related articles, 15 classic stag do costumes and fancy dress ideas, 21 top ideas for best man gifts to the groom, packing list: groom emergency kit bag, the ultimate best man duties list, recent posts.

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Rock Your Best Man Speech Using Our Expert-Approved Advice

• Chapelle writes articles for The Knot Worldwide. She covers all things wedding-related and has a personal interest in covering celebrity engagements and fashion.
• Before joining The Knot Worldwide, Chapelle was an editorial intern for Subvrt Magazine.
• Chapelle has a degree in English writing from Loyola University New Orleans.

Pat yourself on the back—you're the best man. It's a good feeling when one of your loved ones asks you to be their right hand for the wedding. Beyond the fun best man duties , like planning an epic bach party , you'll have to give a rousing best man speech. We believe it's arguably the most meaningful duty, but don't let that get you nervous. Whether you're a public speaking pro or have only delivered speeches while on the eighth-grade debate team, boost your chances of making your best man speech a hit by using our helpful tips, ideas and examples for inspiration.

In this article:

Printable Template | How to Write | Examples | Tips | FAQs

Printable Best Man Speech Template

Delivering a best man wedding speech doesn't have to feel like a chore. Use the template below as a checklist while you're writing your best man speech.

How to Write a Best Man Speech Outline

We're guessing the thought of crafting a flawless best man speech from scratch feels pretty overwhelming right about now. Start by drafting a bare-bones outline (trust us, drawing up a rough outline is way more palatable than writing a fully fleshed-out speech). You don't need to include every element in your wedding speech . Instead, customize it to fit the couple, the event and your relationship with the groom.

1. Have a killer opening line.

Successful best man speeches always start with a good opener. Introduce yourself and explain your connection to the happy couple. Have fun with this part by sharing a quick joke or quoting a poem so your speech doesn't start off stale. For example, "Hello everyone! For those of you who don't know me, thank you so much for coming to my wedding. [pause for laughter] Sorry about that...I'm a little nervous."

2. Thank the other speakers.

Once you address the audience, give props to the previous speaker to help lead into your speech. If you know your speech has a sillier sentiment, now's your chance to warn your audience in the change of direction. Here's an example: "Let's give it up to the amazing speech given by the wonderful maid of honor . If you enjoyed how thoughtful and sweet her speech was, you better get the tissues ready for this one!"

Next, express your gratitude to the couple's parents. Thank the couples' parents for not only raising incredible adults and, if they helped pay for the wedding, for hosting such a great party. Here's an example: "I'd like to begin by expressing my deepest gratitude to the couples' parents for raising such amazing people, who I'm fortunate to call my best friends. I would also like to thank their parents for hosting such an awesome celebration for all of us to enjoy this evening."

3. Say a few words about your friend's new spouse.

Another writing a best man speech tip is always to give a special shoutout to the new spouse so they feel welcomed and included. Yes, we know you most likely have a closer relationship with the groom, but don't let that stop you from showering them with kind words––it's their big day too. Talk about the qualities you like about them and why you love them in the groom's life. Try this, "I'm so happy [Spouse's Name] fell in love with [Groom's Name]. Firsthand I've seen the grace, intelligence and confidence [Spouse's Name] has, which explains why [Groom's Name] knew he wanted to marry [Spouse's Name] after their first date."

4. Share personal stories.

What's going to make your best man speech stand out are personal stories. We suggest adding one or two anecdotes, like your favorite memories with the groom (and their partner, if you want). Avoid choosing a story that rambles on and has no sentimental or funny ending—keep it lighthearted and short. Here's a silly example, "I remember when we first met in first grade. [Groom's Name] had just glued his hand to his face but still used his free one to shake my hand and ask if I wanted to be his friend."

5. Talk about the couple's relationship.

This is the time to speak about why the groom and their new spouse are a great couple. Share how they first met and how their relationship has grown so other guests can get a better insight into the newlyweds. If you helped the love birds meet, say something like this in your best man speech: "I know I said earlier I'm the best man, but I lied. I'm actually Cupid because I'm the one who introduced these two eight years ago."

6. Propose a toast.

Finally, close out your best man speech with a heartfelt toast. Ask everyone to raise a glass and provide well wishes to the newly married couple. Steal this wedding toast : "Everyone, please join me in raising a glass to such a wonderful couple. I wish you a lifetime of peace, love and happiness. Love you guys!"

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Best man speech examples.

Now that you know how to write the outline, let us provide you with some inspiration. Here are four best man speech ideas for every type of delivery.

Short Best Man Speech Example

Short best man speeches can make the grade just as much as long ones. Try this short but sweet example.

As the poet, Dante once said, 'A great flame follows a little spark.' When [Groom's Name] met [Spouse's Name], there was a little spark. I know because I talked to him the next day.

From the way he talked about [Spouse's Name], this stranger he chatted up at a Halloween party, I could tell this spark was something special.

You two are fantastic together. May the flame burn long, and may sparks continue to fly. Cheers to the newlyweds!

Funny Best Man Speech Example

Funny best man speeches are our favorite. You get to show off your comedic skills while giving loving well-wishes to the happy couple.

Hello! For those who don't know me, I'm [Your Name], the best man. I've known [Groom's Name] since middle school, which means that it was before we learned mullets weren't a good look for either of us.

[Groom's Name] and [Spouse's Name] told me there are some topics I should avoid in this speech so…[Look through cue cards, then shake head and dramatically drop them all to the floor but one.]

[Reading from the remaining cue card] [Groom's Name] is really the best friend I've ever had. He's done so many wonderful things it would be difficult to name them all. Hey, [a Groomsman's Name], I can't read your handwriting here!

But seriously, it's all true. This guy is a great friend, the best I've got, and I'm very proud to stand by his side today.

[Spouse's Name], I was hoping to be the best-looking person in the room today but obviously, I failed miserably. You look beautiful and radiant. I'm beyond happy for the two of you.

May you always find joy in the little things, like your Xbox and 'Star Wars.' Oh wait, that's my personal goal. You should actually find joy in each other, and do everything you can to have a lifetime of happiness together. Let's toast the newlyweds!

Best Man Speech for Brother Example

Need best man speech examples for your brother? Use our speech below as a guide to delivering a sweet message to your older or younger brother.

On my fourth birthday, my parents got me a brother…I wanted a puppy.

But seriously, as a kid [Groom's Name] wanted to do everything I did. He used to follow me around. He used to sneak into my room and play with my Matchbox cars. Our parents could get him to eat his broccoli by making me eat my broccoli.

It wasn't until after I went to college that he started going down his own path. He started doing volunteer work. He found a job he loves, a pretty killer apartment and, of course, he found [Spouse's Name].

[Spouse's Name], you're the nicest person I've ever met, and my brother is so blessed to have someone like you in his life. Thank you for being there for him.

I'm so happy you two found each other especially because I'm gaining a sister today. Oh, and I want to set the record straight. I'm glad I didn't get a puppy that day. I love you, little bro.

Congratulations to both of you. I wish you lots of laughter, love and joy as a married couple. Cheers to the newlyweds!

Best Man Speech for Best Friend Example

For those who need a best man speech sample for their best friend, we got you covered. Here's how to tell your BFF you're happy for them on their special day.

Good evening, everyone! I'm [Your Name], and I'm extremely honored to call myself [Groom's Name]'s best man. Also, please excuse the puffiness under my eyes, I've been happy crying since before the ceremony.

I first met [Groom's Name] while working at a pizza joint called Domenica's while in college. I hated being a server with all my heart, but whenever [Groom's Name] and I were scheduled together, it made it so much more bearable.

We laughed until we cried, ate hundreds of garlic knots and I can't tell you the amount of times we accidentally got pizza dough stuck to the ceiling during our pizza toss competitions. But even after we both quit and moved on to bigger and better things, we still kept in touch and I'm eternally grateful.

One of those bigger and better things was [Spouse's Name]. [Groom's Name] really discovered the perfect piece to his puzzle. [Spouse's Name] laughs at his bad jokes, listens to his long monologues about Batman vs. Superman and most importantly, loves him no matter what. [Spouse's Name] is a phenomenal and caring person who deserves the world, and I know [Groom's Name] will do everything he can to give it to them.

Thank you both for allowing me to be a part of your beautiful wedding, and I can't wait to see what else is in store for you in the future. Love you guys, and cheers to the handsome couple!

Best Man Speech Tips

Good news! We got how to give a best man speech tips from Dominic Bliss, wedding writer and author of Being the Best Man for Dummies. Study up on these helpful pointers below to minimize pre-speech jitters and ensure a smooth delivery.

Plan ahead.

The first tip in our guide on how to write a best man speech is to get started in advance. (As in, do not procrastinate.) "Start writing a best man speech at least two months before the wedding," Bliss says. "As the wedding nears, there are lots of events—suit fittings and a coed shower, perhaps—that could distract you from getting your writing done." Brainstorm and write down any stories, jokes or best man speech quotes you want to include. The more time you have to prepare your best man speech, the better. This way, you'll be able to be fully present at upcoming wedding festivities.

Be genuine.

Whether the wedding guests are strangers or family, it can feel nerve-racking to deliver your best man speech with all eyes on you. To ease the awkwardness, provide anecdotes and stories about your relationship with the couple. Everyone loves a bit of nostalgia, and the guests get to know you better.

With that said, stay true to how you normally act while making your speech. There's no need for you to change who you are for some made-up public speaking persona. If you feel more comfortable cracking jokes throughout your speech, do it. If you are better at being sentimental and don't mind leaving everyone misty-eyed, take that approach. Remember, the couple chose you to speak at their wedding because they felt you could add something special to their big day. As long as you deliver a heartfelt speech, the newlyweds and guests will love it.

Know what topics to avoid.

There are a few topics to omit from the best man speech. No matter how funny you (and even the groom) might think they are, someone is bound to be offended or put off if you mention:

• Negativity about marriage in general.
• Past relationships.
• Previous marriages/divorces.
• Drinking, drugs, gambling.
• "Adult" humor or any other mention of sex.

After all, your best man speech should celebrate the newlywed couple and their love rather than causing future friction. Keep it PG.

Consider adding jokes.

If you want to deliver a funny best man speech, consider poking some fun at the groom. "Every groom will have some funny characteristic or quirk you can ridicule," Bliss notes. "As long as it's something everyone can appreciate, it's sure to get a laugh. Avoid obscure references or inside jokes. You want older guests and those who don't know him well to see the funny side too." Be strategic about your jokes too. You can make jokes about the groom but leave their new spouse alone.

Write it down.

Even those with a great memory will feel more confident with a written speech or at least a few bullet points to keep them on track. Nerves can mess with your memory, so don't think you're a failure if you have to bring notes with you. (Even CEOs do this at corporate events.) Bliss suggests using small note cards instead of a sheet of paper since they "won't flap around."

And yes we know many groomsmen will want to read off their cell phones out of convenience, but wedding planners recommend against it. The lighting from your phone screen can ruin the wedding photographer's photos and can be distracting to guests. Practice writing down your speech instead—it's quite soothing.

Practice with an audience.

This tip is a must when it comes to writing a best man speech. Even if you think you have this whole thing in the bag, practice delivering your wedding speech aloud at least three times. When you're by yourself, take a video and watch the playback to get a feel for how your speech is going. (Do you say "um" between every sentence? Are your gestures a little robotic?) If your friends can't offer critiques in person, "send [the video] to a close friend who won't be going to the wedding and who can give you honest feedback," Bliss recommends.

Finally: don't mumble. A great best man speech becomes boring if it's monotonous or guests are straining to hear you. Speak confidently and slowly.

Best Man Frequently Asked Questions

If this is your first time giving a best man speech, you might have a lot of questions. Here are answers to the top wedding speech inquiries.

How Long Should a Best Man Speech Be?

In general, the best man speech length should be at least three minutes, but no more than five minutes. This is enough time to say something meaningful before guests get too antsy. Of course, you should adjust your speech length to the event. If you're speaking at a last-minute wedding, it might require a brief speech, while a formal affair could call for a longer toast. But you might also be wondering, "how many words should a best man speech be?" We suggest between 700 to 1000 words.

How to Start a Best Man Speech

Begin your speech by addressing the audience and thanking them for attending the wedding. Here's an example, "Hello, everyone. On behalf of the newlyweds, I want to thank everyone for attending this amazing celebration." You can even butter up the crowd by saying how lovely everyone looks this evening. Then, introduce yourself and how you know the groom or couple. This is a great opportunity to add a funny story or memory you have with them that can lead you into the rest of your speech.

How to End a Best Man Speech

Raise your glass and offer a toast wishing the couple a lifetime of happiness, excellent health and success. Your toast can include one final joke or be a marriage quote from your and the groom's favorite movie. Either way, take this chance to sincerely express the newlyweds well. Remember, concluding the speech is the easiest part.

Does the Best Man Have to Give a Speech?

It's not required, but it's expected that the best man gives a speech—especially if the other honor attendants are giving one. If speaking in public makes your stomach turn, consider showing your appreciation for the couple in a different way. We've seen best men do upbeat choreography, sing the couple's favorite song or even present a wedding video they made.

When Does the Best Man Give His Speech?

Following the traditional wedding speech order , the best man speaks after the maid of honor and is the last speech during the reception. There's no need to use this itinerary since the speech order depends on your reception timeline and wedding party size. The to-be-weds might even ask you to deliver your speech during the rehearsal dinner, which most likely will be in front of a smaller audience (score!). Before the wedding and during, double-check with the couple to ensure you know when to give your best man speech so no one has to hunt you down when it's your turn.

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6 Best Man Speech Ideas, Examples, and Tips

By wedding spot.

Need some help writing your best man speech? Thousands and thousands of distressed forum threads, alarmed Quora posts, and social media cries for help are dedicated to this very request every year. Whether you’ve got a few weeks or a few hours, we’ve got you covered with this guide on how to come up with a best man speech you and the happy couple will love. Keep reading to discover some important best man speech ideas, examples, and tips that will make the process simple and virtually painless. 

Do’s and don’ts every best man should know before drafting their speech:

Length: The most important thing to keep in mind is the length. Shorter is better, so shoot for less than five minutes. The most ideal time would be three minutes: 30-second introduction, two minutes on the main story, and 30 seconds to wrap up and give well wishes. 

Tone: Keep it classy for the older relatives and leave out expletives, raunchy jokes, and stories that you can’t un-tell. Professional storytellers for the Moth , a famous storytelling podcast and prestigious competition, say that a mix of funny and sentimental usually packs a punch as long as you do it in that order. Also, be sincere. Corny jokes get boring really quickly. 

Content: Stories will always be more entertaining than random jokes. Include a one-liner at the beginning of the speech, then bring it back to something that actually happened. The focus should be on the couple or your relationship with them, but not just you and your accomplishments. 

Explore 6 foolproof best man speech ideas, examples, and tips:

1. take inspiration from those who have gone before you..

Copy or get inspired by these real-world examples of best man speeches you can use to make people laugh, cry, or both.

Long best man speech example: Here’s a best man speech example from an older brother to his younger brother, which we edited for clarity and brevity.

“Good afternoon everyone, I’m the best man.

Before I start, I’d just like to say there is no flash photography during this event. The bride and groom are a very shy pair and we don’t want to startle them. If you look really closely at them, you’ll see they’re already starting to feel quite uncomfortable. Maybe they’d like me to just get on with my speech, but I really think it’s all the phones pointed at them right now. 

Oh, it’s the speech? Okay, I’ll continue. 

Ever since (he was born, he started at Boston University, etc.), (groom) and I have been (brothers, friends, etc.). Now, he’s not the best-looking guy, so it does make sense that he’d ask the older, fatter, and balder (friend, version of himself, etc.) to be his best man. And we’ve genuinely been told throughout our lives that we (look incredibly alike, are attached at the hip, etc.). I honestly don’t see it, but as I know, some people here still can’t tell the difference: (Groom’s mom or bride), I’m (best man), and that one’s (groom).

The bride and groom have asked that I don’t talk about any of (groom)’s mishaps, mistakes, or embarrassing moments, and instead do talk about the positive things in his life. I mean, you’ve made this incredibly difficult for me, but I’ll do my best.

*Get out a scrap of paper* (Groom)’s an amazing person. He’s funny, he’s kind, he’s incredibly clever. He’s even (studying to be an engineer, learning how to rollerblade, etc.)! Not only that, but he’s … wait … (groom), I can’t say that, man!

(Bride), you look lovely today; and (groom), you look sharper than ever in that suit! Cheers to a long, happy marriage for you both! But more so for (bride), because she’s really got her hands full now. Cheers!”

Key takeaway: Making fun of yourself more than you make fun of the groom will always be a hit. Also, don’t shy away from the roast-style “set ‘em up to punch ‘em down” jokes like the ones featured here. 

Make it your own: This speech runs less than two minutes. Make it longer and personalize it by adding a story about you and the groom growing up that you think says something about who he is today, either by contrast or extreme similarity. 

Short best man speech example: Get some quick laughs and an “aww” with a little something like this. 

“I really should have given my speech first since (maid of honor)’s speech was way better than mine, but this is all your fault (groom), so enjoy! Thank you all for coming and for those who helped make this wedding so beautiful. (Bride), you look absolutely stunning tonight. (Groom), well, you’re here tonight. All jokes aside, I’m really happy for you both. I always wanted (a sister, someone to help me wrangle the groom, etc.), and now I finally have one. So here’s a toast to the bride and groom!”

Key takeaway: A quick icebreaker, thank you, and joke followed by a sentimental thought is really all you need. 

Make it your own: Personalize the items in brackets to fit your sense of humor and situation. Reference real stories and moments at the wedding. 

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2. Use a template.

If memorizing a script feels like too much pressure, outline your main points, and improvise from there. Here’s a foolproof structure for any best man speech.

Introduce yourself and how you know the happy couple.

Thank the hosts or parents if they paid for the wedding.

Say something nice about their partner and something funny about them.

Tell a short, funny story about your relationship to the groom that ties into what makes the newlyweds’ relationship special too.

End on a sentimental note with your well wishes.

Pro tip: Brainstorm 3-5 anecdotes you like, sleep on it, then narrow down your options to your Top 2. 

3. Nail the opening line.

The most memorable opening line for a best man speech is funny, grabs the audience’s attention, and offers a twist at the end. For example: 

“(Groom) didn't have an easy decision in choosing his best man. First, he called his most successful friend, who said no. Then, he called his smartest friend, who said no. Then, he asked his most attractive friend, and he also said no. Then, he called me, and I said, ‘(groom), I can't say no to you four times.’” 

4. Tell great jokes.

Keep the slander to a minimum. Instead, focus on making fun of yourself or telling a story of which you’re both equally embarrassed. You can also take this opportunity to be comedically competitive, regardless of who comes out on top in your speech. 

For example, acknowledging how you’ve done better at something can be funny just as long as you then mention how they ended up being the winner anyway because they found their partner. 

You can also take this opportunity to let others know about an inside joke or a story of something you two did together that no one has heard before (as long as it won’t get you in trouble with their partner, of course). 

5. Sprinkle in one-liners.

Funny one-liners are a great way to get the audience’s energy up and keep them engaged before you end with a sentimental punch. Here are some examples that even grandma will appreciate.

(Bride), you look stunning. (Groom), you look stunned.

(Bride), you're so beautiful you make (groom) look ... (successful, famous, rich)?

(Bride), you’re the luckiest person in the world to lock down someone like my (friend, brother, etc.). (Groom) is so good looking, so considerate, so humble, so… (groom), I’m sorry, I can't read your handwriting here.

6. Consider your relationship.

The most impactful best man speeches take the relationship you have with the groom into account. Here are some tips for each major type.

Older brother getting married:

Limit yourself to one or two icebreaker insults. Any more and your speech turns into a roast. 

Highlight how much of an example the groom has set for you, for better or worse. 

Younger brother getting married:

Mention at least one meaningful way you’ve seen the groom grow over the years. 

Make a joke to their partner’s benefit about how the groom has “finally won” your sibling rivalry by finding them.

Dad getting married:

Incorporate an important life lesson your dad taught you and weave it into both your main story and your perspective on the wedding today. 

Express gratitude for all he has done for you. He’ll really appreciate it. 

Best friend getting married:

Mention a good quality you remember from the early days of your friendship such as their talent at field hockey or their love of knitting. 

Talk about what makes them special compared to the rest of your friend group in your eyes through the lens of a flattering story. 

If you don’t have a close relationship with the groom: Lean into their interests and use them as a metaphor for how you feel about their marriage. For example, a Star Wars buff might really appreciate a Luke and Leia comparison. Personalizing it like this will show how much you care by putting in more effort to get to know their interests and give you another thing to bond over long after the wedding is over. 

Hint: if it’s the groom’s second marriage, make sure you know who is in attendance before you start jokingly ripping into their ex. In fact, let them be the ones to make jokes about the situation.

Now you know how to give an amazing best man speech! 

Using the advice above, you now know everything about how to write and give a best man speech everyone will enjoy. Don’t be afraid to use borrowed examples, templates, or one-liners. As long as you personalize it and speak from the heart, your speech will be memorable. 

Up next, find other ways to leave your mark on the big day with some super fun and unique bridal party entrance ideas .

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Best Man Speech Magic: Crafting Words that Resonate and Inspire

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Hey there! Your friend’s wedding is just around the corner, and he’s chosen you to be the best man? Crafting the perfect best man speech might seem daunting, but trust us, it’s simpler than you imagine.

Below, you’ll find a wealth of tips and examples from Wedding Forward team to guide you through crafting a best man speech that will leave a lasting impression. Moreover, our editorial team interviewed two distinguished experts in the field: Mindy Weiss, the founder of Mindy Weiss Party Consultants and a best-selling author, and Steven Greitzer, a wedding tech entrepreneur and officiant, serving as CEO of Provenance . Their invaluable tips and advice also have been integrated into this article.

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Top Best Man Speech Examples

It is much easier to write a best man speech when you have some examples to draw upon for inspiration. That’s why Wedding Forward team have prepared variety collection of inspired best man speech to help you craft your own!

Best Man Speech For Friend

Best Man Speech for Brother

“Good evening, hope everyone is having a good time tonight. I feel very privileged and honored to be standing here tonight celebrating this lovely union. Two years ago, Matt gave the best man speech at my wedding and made a lot of awkward jokes. So needless to say, I’ve been waiting for this moment for a really long time! For those who don’t know, I am Matt’s brother, Mike. I first met Matt when I was two years old at our parent’s house in Boston. To be quite honest, I wasn’t thrilled because I really wanted a sister. And I think he knew because Matt would do ridiculous things like throw my toothbrush in the toilet, pour water at me when I was asleep and run across the room naked when I had any friends over. This made me less popular than I already was. Matt always excelled in school, was captain of the debate team (apologies to Cara, but he can argue his way out of anything!) and can make a mean steak. The truth is, despite him being an annoying brother at the time, I came out winning in the end. Because of him and this beautiful night, I am getting the sister I always wanted. Cara, you’re beautiful and our family loves you so much. Thank you for making my brother so happy. Let’s celebrate this amazing union and raise a glass to the newlyweds ! On behalf of the groomsmen and bridesmaids, we’d like to wish you a life full of love, happiness, and joy. To everyone who made tonight happen, thank you. You’ve made this night very special.” Source

Short Best Man Speech

“Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? As the best man, I stand here today to say a few words about the remarkable love story between my incredible friend, [groom’s name], and his beautiful bride, [bride’s name]. [Groom’s name] and I have been through thick and thin together, and I’ve had the privilege of witnessing his growth as a person. But it wasn’t until [bride’s name] came into his life that I saw a change I can only describe as transformative. Their love is like a beacon, guiding them through life’s ups and downs. So here’s to the newlyweds—a couple who have found not just love, but true companionship. May your journey be filled with happiness, passion, and an everlasting bond.”

Funny Best Man Speech Examples

Best man talk for adam and kate.

“Adam and Kate – What a great day to get married! Marriage carries new responsibilities. Kate – from now on, you should never argue or disagree with Adam, because he is now the head of the family and the king of his castle. You will be expected to keep your hair and make-up perfect at all times – to dress in a way that pleases Adam. You should cook his favorite meals every night and encourage him to go out with his friends on a regular basis. Do these simple things and your marriage will be blessed with many years of happiness. Kate – I know that Adam loves you very much… because he spent a long time writing this speech for me. Congratulations to the both of you!” Source

Best Man Presentation for Sarah & Simon

“Sarah & Simon – every great relationship starts with rings. In the beginning, the phone would ring and just the thought of speaking to one another was exciting. Your love grew and so did your commitment to each other. The engagement ring soon came after. There were no doubts… your love was true. The engagement ring has now turned into a wedding ring and we are all here today to celebrate your marriage. Now of course… the suffer-ring begins. (smile and raise your glass) Peace and happiness to the new bride and groom!” Source

Speech for Neil and Claire

“Hi my name is Paul and Neil has asked me to be his best man for this wonderful occasion. I would like to say it is a very special honor but with it, comes the responsibility of giving the bloody speech. I would not say it is very comfortable to wear a tuxedo in a 30-degree church, which is not air-conditioned. The church ceremony I’m sure you’ll all agree was a wonderful, wonderful occasion. Maybe a little hot, but I’m glad to see so many of you have replaced your electrolytes with fuel of the alcoholic kind since the reception began. I have known Neil and Claire for_________ [how many years] years. You might say Neil and I met by accident, but it is no accident that Neil met Claire. If you know Neil you know he is an excellent athlete, in fact I noticed his Athletes foot right away. This was a man who had his knees and ankles shaved, for easy taping. I knew this was a hard-core sports fanatic. We both share a tremendous love of football and basketball. For many years, we have had a running bet during the season as to who will score more goals or more runs which of course, I always won. Neil is a ______________ [Groom’s Occupation] in Truro, and I thought__________________________________[Funny or quirky aspect about grooms occupation] Neil is a man who has dedicated his life to __________________[Grooms occupation] And now I’m sure will use his experience with ___________________________[what the Groom does in his occupation] in his marriage with Claire. It is great that Neil found Claire. He has always been looking for someone young, dynamic, intelligent, attractive, and with good health insurance. Neil and Claire met_________________________ [where they meet], But I have it on good authority that Neil started looking for a wife on the internet. And with a multitude of resources at his fingertips, he found some really great stuff, but sadly was unable to find himself a suitable partner. That is, until I mentioned to him that the correct category to be looking should be Woman Seeking Man. I explained the way it works, send an old picture when you still had lots of hair, lie about your height and weight, and at all other times be sincere and honest. I imagine that when Neil and Claire met and introduced each other he said I’m Neil and she said, “I need a Diamond.” So, Neil said, sure let’s pick one out. Claire is a Diamond. Neil is a gem; I think together they make beautiful jewellery. No Marriage would be complete without some brotherly advice to help set you on your way… So I canvassed the room and got some really good stuff for you! Love, honor and cherish each other, and don’t forget to take out the garbage. Your wife is always right. Just in case she is not right, refer back to #2. Always, yes always, notice every new hairstyle or dress. Do something nice for each other every single day. If she asks if something makes her look fat the answer is categorically, NO. Flowers are always a good Idea, even if you are not in trouble. There is really nothing better than a good foot rub or massage. Your wife is more important than sports. I guess. Even the cup final. It is a great joy for me to see Neil and Claire so happy. You learn things when you get older. Hmmm, I mean more mature. You make better decisions, isn’t it great that two people would entwine and commit to each other for life. Love, isn’t that what it is all about? We are here to celebrate that glorious event and this ceremony is all about letting the world know how much Neil and Claire’s love for each other is a reflection of one’s own soul in another’s. Anyway, it is time to celebrate the joyous and unbridled love that these two spectacular people will share the rest of their lives. Would you please stand now and join me in a toast. To love and laughter and happily ever after.” Source

What are the key elements that should be included in a memorable and heartfelt best man’s speech?

That is what Steven Greitzer, wedding tech entrepreneur and officiant, CEO of Provenance, said:

“There are many key elements to take into account when pulling together a great toast:

• Include 2-3 stories in your speech that capture the essence of the groom and your friendship.
• Make sure your speech is appropriate by discussing “no-go’s” with the couple beforehand.
• Acknowledge the groom’s partner in your speech and speak about how the relationship has helped the groom grow (more on that below).
• Offer a thematic takeaway, such as the importance of friendship or the strength of the couple’s love.
• Be sure to practice

The Provenance Toast Builder is the best and easiest way to make sure your wedding toast captures what you’re trying to say.”

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How to Write a Best Man Speech

For a great wedding speech, there are some simple rules you have to follow. Here you will find examples of best man speeches Dos and Don’ts from our editors.

• Plan your speech ahead (think about your best man speech structure, choose formal or funny style) and practice.
• Tell a short story ( keep the speech to about 5 minutes or less ) with jokes (2 or 3 will be enough).
• Get sentimental at some point, make compliments to the bride.
• Finish on an optimistic note (end your speech with love quotes or wishes for the happy couple).
• Be thankful (express gratitude towards the couple, their family, and anyone who helped make the wedding happen).

Don’ts

• Do not cross the 2-5 mins time limit.
• Do not make it about you.
• Avoid dirty jokes.
• Do not ignore the bride. Let her know how happy you are, that she is ending up with your friend.
• Avoid rude remarks. Keep your manners in check, even if it’s for a day.

Infographic

Best Man Speech Templates

Click here to download free printable templates of best man speech!

When creating the Best Man speech outline for your talk, include the following elements to involve everyone, making one and all feel that they are important participants in the merrymaking for the newlywed couple:

Use a Magnetic Opening Line

The opening words of your Best Man presentation should grab everyone’s attention. If you favor a romantic approach to start off a speech, you can start with a statement like, “True love wins all,” and then list the various ways the Groom, through his true love for his Bride, has won all her attention and affections.

• If some of the Groom’s favorite hip singer-songwriters date back to the 1960s and ’70s, you can quote from Bob Dylan: “ Love is just a four-letter word ,” going on to mention the many words of just four letters that relate to feelings of true love like “ kiss, hold, keep and ever. ” Be intent and clever with the use of language, and you will achieve better engagement with your audience.
• If your tastes (or the tastes of the newlyweds) are somewhat more classical, you can start by quoting the familiar line from Elizabeth Barrett Browning: “ How do I love thee, Let me count the ways. ” This popular line has been repeated in many variations by countless poets and songwriters ever since, so have no fear of labeling yourself as an egghead when quoting it. This opening line will also give you a chance to mention the main virtues and attributes of the Bride.

Thank the Other Speakers

It is always appropriate and appreciated if you thank the other speakers for the occasion. These speakers usually include the Maid of Honor and the Bride’s Father as well as any other members of the wedding party that the Bride and Groom ask to speak.

It is always good form to express your gratitude for their contributions to this special moment and event. Never criticize or make jokes about what they say or how they say it. Just thank them politely and continue with your own remarks since you know very well how to write a best-man speech.

Congratulate the Newlyweds

Congratulate the wedding couple on this exciting first chapter in their lives together. This is the ideal time to tell the guests how you met your great friend, the Groom. If you happen to be the Groom’s brother or cousin, you can recreate moments of hilarity from your younger years together or shared experiences of suspense or intrigue.

Recalling funny incidents or telling best man speech jokes involving the Groom is totally acceptable, so long as you keep the format and content clean and respectable.

Expert tip from Steven Greitzer:

“A great best man speech strikes the perfect balance of humor and sincerity. You want it to be memorable, but for the right reasons. Check with the couple to see if there are any topics you need to avoid or any topics that might be of particular concern to anyone in the audience. In the Provenance Toast Builder , the couple has the option to call out any topic they do, or don’t, want you to include. If you have any jokes in your speech you are unsure about, run them by someone who is close to the couple who you trust. And if you have a feeling that a joke might upset them or not land well with the audience – err on the side of caution. It’s their big day, not yours! There’s a way to have a funny best man speech that doesn’t upset grandma. Find the balance.”

Compliment the Bride

Now it is time to pull out the stops and give high praise to the Bride using your knowledge of how to write a best man talk. Highlight and emphasize her finest qualities, talents, and accomplishments.

Let them know just how overjoyed you are to celebrate the marriage of these two special people of whom you think so highly. Then give the Bride another charming compliment using top-quality speech writing tips.

Read Messages from Absent Guests

Take time to read some messages from invited guests who could not attend the wedding. This gesture is always appreciated by the absent guests and the Bride and Groom, alike. It also includes their congratulatory thoughts and best wishes for the newlyweds in the day’s special events.

Include a Famous Quote or Poem

Enchant your attentive audience of wedding guests further by reciting a well-known quote or poem that suits the occasion. This adds a creative literary element to the post-wedding celebration for the honored couple. You may want to consult other templates, including a listing of groomsman speech examples.

Best Man Speech Quotes

Choose Best Man speech quotes that reflect the couple’s personality, add humor, and keep them relevant.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop. H. L. Mencken

Marriage is a workshop where husband works and wife shops.

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. Mignon McLaughlin

Propose a Toast to the Wedding Couple

Raise your glass of champagne so the guests can eagerly follow your example as you deliver a heartfelt toast of optimistic good wishes for the excellent health, increasing wealth, and everlasting happiness of the newlyweds.

The toast should be given with gusto and true sincerity and may include mild best-man speech jokes. Remember that you speak for all the well-wishers in the room who want all the best for this newly married Bride and Groom, so put your best energy, spirit, and talents for convincing elocution into this featured Grand Finale.

The “Thankful” Speech

“Hello everyone, it’s such a pleasure to be here tonight as [Groom’s] best man. And I want to begin with saying what an honor it is that I was chosen to stand by your side today. You’ve always been someone that I looked up to and I am just beyond grateful that I get to share in this moment with you and [Bride]. [Groom] is someone that I’ve come to care for greatly over the years and I am so happy that he’s found someone to share his life with and start a family with. [Groom] has always been my right hand throughout the biggest moments of my life and I can’t wait to be able to watch everything beautiful unfold for the two of you. Cheers to a lifetime of happiness!”

The “Smart Move” Speech

“There’s an old saying about friendship that reads, “It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them,” and goodness that couldn’t be more true for me and my boy, [Groom]. I could go into all the funny stories that include some of that stupidity but instead I’d rather focus on all the smart moves he’s made. His friendships, the relationship he has with his family, his career, it’s all a reflection of the incredible man he’s become. But really, the smartest move he’s made is marrying you, [Bride]. Let’s toast to the best decision [Groom’s] ever made. I wish you a lifetime of love, happiness and success.”

The “She Was the One” Speech

“Ladies and gentlemen, thank you all for coming out tonight to celebrate the wedding of two people we all love, [Bride] & [Groom]! When I first met [Bride], I knew that she was the woman [Groom] would end up marrying. Even if it hadn’t dawned on him quite yet, it was obvious to everyone around just how smitten he was with her. They talk about a bride’s glow, but this man was shining since the moment he met [Bride]. He changed for the better without realizing it. And we all could see it. He couldn’t stop talking about her. We’d go out with the boys and [Bride’s] name would be brought up every two minutes. So, when he came to me to tell me that he would be proposing my only response was, ‘Well, it’s about time!’ There’s something special about these two. They go together without forcing it. They love each other without fighting it. And they care about each other without thinking about it. She was the one from the very beginning [Groom], and we’re all so happy to be able to take part in your big day. Cheers!”

Best Man Speech Opening Lines

Your opening lines are your best-man speech icebreakers, so it’s important that they are good. Grab the attention of your guests with witty best man speech openers such as these.

• “I would like to begin by congratulating the groom on his excellent taste in best men. He has really outdone himself this time, and I’m pleased.”
• “I have been asked by the bride and groom not to share any embarrassing stories, crude jokes, or pranks during my best man’s speech… so I guess that’ll be it from me! Thank you all for listening.”
• “If you cannot hear me at the back, nothing to worry about. By the complete silence in the front row here, you can rest assured that you’re really not missing much.”
• “Is anyone here this afternoon feeling nervous and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead? If you are, it’s probably because you’ve just married (groom’s name).”
• “All of you here who really know the bride must know that she is a wonderful person who deserves a good husband. Thank goodness (groom’s name) married her before she found one.”

Best Man Speech One-Liners

I am about to make the groom cry. I just received the food bill.

He is smart, tall, kind, generous….. Who am I actually talking about?

Hi, the groom is a great friend. Our friendship is 2hours old. I was hired as he’s got no friends.

His colleagues describe him as a first-class banker – I may have misheard them.

I heard some time that marriage is a 50/50 affair. Believe that at your own peril. We have factors called women and improper fractions.

One-liners are sharp jokes delivered in one sentence. A good one-liner is concise and meaningful. It is instant but loaded with humor that can keep the guests laughing for a while. It is important that the best man speech jokes contain one-liners.

Best Man Toasts Examples

“It’s been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers.”

“Folks, I have been told I am not allowed to have a drink until AFTER my speech. If I seem like I’m in a hurry to finish, it’s because I am.”

“I hope the two of you have the two essential things it takes to have a successful marriage 1) a sense of humor 2) selective hearing.”

“Psychiatrists say that girls tend to marry men like their fathers. That must be why mothers cry at weddings.”

“Love is not about how often you say I love you, but how often you show that it’s true.”

Best Man Speech Jokes

“They say marriage is a journey, and tonight we celebrate the beginning of an epic road trip for the bride and groom. Just remember, guys, never forget to ask for directions!”

“They say the key to a successful marriage is patience, understanding, and a remote control with fresh batteries. Groom, make sure you always keep that remote handy!”

“Let’s raise our glasses to the newlyweds: may their love be like Wi-Fi, strong and never disconnecting, even in the midst of Netflix binges!”

“As the best man, it’s my duty to share a piece of advice with the groom: in marriage, always remember that a happy wife means a happy life… and also remember to nod and agree, even when she’s wrong!”

“Marriage is a lifelong commitment, just like the gym membership the groom signed up for and rarely uses. But this time, there are no cancellation fees!”

Best Man Speech Delivery and Presentation Tips

When delivering your best man speech, it’s essential to captivate the audience with your words and presence. Here are some tips to ensure a memorable and engaging delivery:

• Maintain good eye contact with the audience: Look directly at the guests while speaking. Eye contact helps establish a connection and shows that you are genuinely engaged with them.
• Speak clearly and at a moderate pace: Enunciate your words clearly and avoid rushing through your speech. Speaking at a moderate pace allows the audience to understand and absorb your message effectively.
• Use appropriate gestures and body language to enhance your delivery: Use hand gestures and body movements to emphasize key points and add energy to your speech. However, be mindful of not going overboard and distracting from your message.
• Incorporate pauses for comedic timing and to allow the audience to react: Timing is crucial, especially when delivering humorous anecdotes or punchlines. Pause before and after delivering a joke to build anticipation and give the audience time to laugh and react.

By implementing these delivery and presentation tips, you’ll engage the audience, leave a lasting impression, and make your best man speech a memorable highlight of the wedding celebration.

Are there any common mistakes to avoid, and how to overcome nervousness or stage fright?

According to wedding planner Mindy Weiss, “speeches can help make or break a wedding” . And we agree with this opinion. Speeches have the power to elevate the celebration, bringing tears of joy and laughter to guests, while also creating cherished memories that last a lifetime. However, poorly delivered speeches can disrupt the flow and energy of the event, leaving guests feeling disconnected and the couple disappointed.

Steven Greitzer convinced that one of the biggest mistakes is when the person giving the wedding speech only talks about the partner they’re closest with, unintentionally making the other partner feel left out and unimportant: “To help remedy this, the Provenance Toast Builder gives you the option to either talk about each partner 50/50, or to talk 70% about your person and 30% about their partner (which is a good rule of thumb). The Toast Builder also has thoughtful prompts to encourage you to share why they’re both 1) good people and 2) a great match for each other.

What is the best man supposed to say in his speech?

The best man should share anecdotes about the groom, praise the couple, thank everyone, and propose a toast. Keep it lighthearted and sincere.

What do you say in a short speech for Bestman?

In a short best man speech, express gratitude, share a memorable moment about the groom, and toast to the couple’s happiness. Keep it concise and impactful.

How do I write a good man speech?

Write a good best man speech by including humor, expressing genuine sentiments, avoiding inappropriate content, and keeping it focused on the couple. Practice for smooth delivery and timing.

There is truly something for everyone today to create the perfect Best Man Speech for that very special couple and their after-wedding reception, dinner, and celebration. Fond remembrances, amusing stories and anecdotes, humorous quotes, and emotional phrases end with the joyful ring of a clever, yet heartfelt Best Man Toast to the Bride and Groom. The contemporary wedding is truly a work of love and art with all the trimmings and enticing treats for one and all to treasure and enjoy.

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The Most Hilarious Best Mans Speech Jokes

Author: Hollie Bond

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Best Man Speech Opening Jokes

Jokes about the newlyweds, self-deprecating best man jokes, jokes to end the best man's speech.

Feeling the pressure to deliver a best man’s speech that will make every guest in the room laugh? Keep guests young and old entertained for the whole speech with these funny best man’s speech jokes.

It’s such an honour to be asked to be a best man and this VIP role comes with many fun and important tasks (if you’re not sure what they are check out our guide to being a brilliant best man here). One of the tasks many best men dread though is writing and delivering the best man speech on the wedding day. Unless you’re a natural public speaker or have spent time on stage, it can be a pretty daunting prospect, especially when you consider that the best man speech is traditionally known to be the funniest and most looked forward to of all the speeches.

The good news is, you’re not alone and thousands of other best men before you have sat and stared at a blank piece of paper for hours before finally getting the inspiration to write an awesome best man speech.

We’ve got a comprehensive guide on how to write a brilliant groom’s speech here to help you with the structure, format, and length. But, once you have the general gist and bare bones of the best man speech jotted down, it’s time to insert some funny jokes into each section, to keep all the guests chuckling with laughter from start to finish.

Remember you’re not expected to be a professional stand-up comedian, Michael McIntyre style, and a wedding is often an emotional day, so it’s absolutely fine to make jokes that are unique to the couple or situation and also to include a heartfelt sentiment or two in between all the gags. To help you on your way to going down in history as the best best man ever, we’ve rounded up some of the greatest tried-and-tested best man speech jokes and one-liners that’ll easily fit into most wedding speeches. Feel free to tailor them to fit the newlyweds you’re talking about. Good luck!

What shouldn’t the best man joke about?

When it comes to writing your best man speech, there are certain topics that are strictly off-limits. It’s important to spend time thinking about things that will come across badly or offend any guests and really consider every sentence carefully before it makes the final edit.

Mentioning the groom’s ex-girlfriends or a previous wife is a definite no-go, as is talking about the groom’s sex life in any way. So that means no mention of the impending wedding night too. Anecdotes about the groom can be best man speech gold, but you need to get to the punch line within a few sentences otherwise you’ll lose the audience and always make sure any anecdotes will amuse all types of guests.

The best man should always avoid joking about the bride too. Unless you’re really good mates with her and know her well enough to have a giggle with her, then it’s best to just say something heartfelt and lovely about her.

Jokes containing swear words should also be avoided. While the younger generation of guests might not flinch when you swear, older members of the audience could be extremely offended. Finally, it’s best to steer clear of making a joke about how long it took for the groom to propose if that was the case. Not only does it make the bride look like all she wanted was a ring on her finge, it also might be an area of contention between the couple so won’t come across as funny to them.

And remember, you’re not the next Al Murray or Michael McIntyre so you don’t need to pepper your speech with one-liners worthy of a stand-up routine. Only joke about things that are genuinely amusing and specific to the groom at the wedding you’re attending rather than anything too generic that you’ve found on the internet.

Starting the best man’s speech is the most difficult part. Once you’ve said a few words, shaken off those nerves, and realised the crowd isn’t full of people about to throw tomatoes at you, you’ll get into your stride, but those first few sentences can be pretty scary.

The trick is to get the audience on your side from the off with a short and easy-to-understand joke that sets the tone for the speech to follow. Here are some great opener ideas for best man speeches.

1) If there’s anybody here today who’s feeling nervous, apprehensive and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it’s probably because you’ve just married [NAME OF THE GROOM].

2) Good evening. I’m so happy to preside over the only five minutes that the bride didn’t plan. Of course, I’m only joking. She went over the speech with me half an hour ago in the bar.

3) Everyone here who knows Sophie will know that she is a wonderful and kind person, who deserves a good husband. Thank god Theo married her before she found one.

4) We’ve now reached the point in the proceedings when we all get to see the Groom shift uncomfortably in his seat and grip the tablecloth in nervous anticipation. That’s right, I’ve been asked to give him the drinks bill.

5) It’s been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers.

6) I just heard there was a competitive sweepstake on the length of the Best Man’s speech. I put my money on 45 minutes, so settle in…

7) My name is James and I am the Best Man. Many of you would beg to differ, but you’d do well to keep quiet – I know your secrets.

8) I’d like to congratulate the Groom on a truly magnificent speech. I always knew it would be hard to follow and I was right – I could hardly follow a word of it.

9) Being asked to be someone’s best man is like being called up for jury duty. You don’t really want to do it, but know you have to. You’re made to dress in a suit and pretend to be an upstanding member of the community. The only difference is I didn’t have a say if the life sentence passed earlier today.

10) I did ask for a microphone but was told one wasn’t available. So if you can’t hear me at the back, the silence from the people at the front should reassure you that you’re not missing out on anything.

11) I’ve been told I can’t get away with a few thank yous and a quick toast in this speech. Apparently, as Best Man, I’m supposed to sing the Groom’s praises and talk about his good qualities. Unfortunately, I can’t sing and I won’t lie.

12) Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Before I came here today one of my good friends gave me some advice on giving this speech. He said think of it like walking through a nudist camp, it’s only hard for the first minute.

13) You’ve got no idea how much I’ve been looking forward to today. After all the time I’ve been friends with the Groom, he has at long last admitted that I am in fact the best man.

14) Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Before I begin, I just want to apologise for not being an experienced public speaker. I’m probably going to spend most of the time looking at this piece of paper in my hands. Oh, it’s not my notes – it’s a picture of the triple vodka I’m going to down as soon as this is over.

15) Firstly I’d like to say I’m very nervous about making this speech. In fact this must be the third time today that I’ve stood up from a warm seat with pieces of paper in my hand.

16) I don’t believe in roasting the groom on his special day. Therefore this speech won’t contain anything embarrassing or controversial about Matt. Instead I’ll refer only to the kind, funny side of his character. Thank you and goodnight.

17) It’s strange to be giving a speech like this one, because my parents always told me that if I had nothing good to say about someone, I should just be quiet.

18) Loyal, caring, sincere, honest, a great man… but that’s enough about me, I’m here to give a speech about Arthur!

19) For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Sam and for those of those who do know me…I apologise. My full name is actually ‘Sam-would-you-like-a-drink’. For those of you who I chat to in the bar later, I’d appreciate it if you could use my full name.

20) Please keep clapping and cheering to a minimum. I’m terribly hungover. I know, you shouldn’t drink the night before a wedding, but I couldn’t very well let the groom drink alone, could I?

21) Now, before I start, the venue manger has asked me to request that, for reasons of health and safety, none of you get up on top of the chairs and tables during my standing ovation.

22) I have no problem admitting to you all that I’m extremely nervous right now. And, as the people sitting near the front of the room can attest, it is actually possible to smell fear.

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Once you’ve opened the best man’s speech and given the guests an idea of the tone and also helped them relax, knowing that you’re not about to deliver a complete car crash of a speech, it’s time to get personal.

Remember, the best man’s speech is mostly intended as an ode to the groom and your friendship and to give the guests an idea of what the main man at the wedding is really like behind closed doors!

You can also include some jokes about the bride (or another groom at a same-sex wedding), although keep these minimal as the father of the bride will have spent a large part of his speech talking about his daughter. As well as these tried-and-tested quips, try to include a few jokes that are specific and personal to your friend, to ensure the groom and his guests feel like you do actually know and love him!

23) So where do I start about Ben? Well, for starters he’s handsome, witty, intelligent, he’s charm…sorry… Ben, I’m having trouble reading you handwriting. You can tell me the rest later.

24) The bride and groom have asked that I don’t talk about Mike’s mishaps, mistakes, embarrassing moments or ex-girlfriends. So thanks for listening everyone, that’s it from me!

25) I do have to say though Rowan just how lucky you are. You will leave here today with a wife who is warm, loving and caring. And Margot, how lucky you are as well. You leave here today having gained a lovely dress and a wonderful bouquet of flowers.

26) Helen please put your left hand flat on the table. Paul please place your hand on top of hers. Enjoy this moment Paul because it’s the first and last time in your marriage that you’ll have the upper hand.

27) We all know the bride is a wonderful lady who deserves the perfect guy. Too bad you don’t always get what you deserve.

28) Well, I do hope that Meghan and Harry enjoy their honeymoon in Wales. I assume that’s where they’re going anyway… When I asked Harry what he was doing after the wedding, he said he was going to Bangor for a fortnight.

29) I’ve been instructed by the bride and groom to keep this speech smut-free, so if I come across any innuendo, I’ll whip it out immediately.

30) Harry is the kindest friend anyone could ask for; a man whose philanthropy knows no bounds. ‘Generosity’ should be his middle name. He would do anything for me; like helping write a section of the best man speech because I forgot about it until late last night at the bar!

30) Seeing the happy couple walking down the aisle earlier today, I’m sure we all agree that the bride looked simply stunning. The groom, on the other hand, simply looked stunned.

31) I’ll try to keep my speech short, because every extra minute I speak is an extra minute’s delay in witnessing how the Groom’s dance lessons worked out.

If the groom is known to be a bit of a tech geek or a gamer…

32) Now he’s getting a bit older he’s turning his attention more and more to gadgets, constantly buying stuff online. I swear he didn’t have an interest in women until I told him the secret to women was knowing what buttons to press.

33) Being asked to be the best man is about five minutes of glowing pride, followed by an eternity of panic and misery. Jane, I expect you had a similar experience when David asked you to be his wife.

34) Someone once said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership, but anyone who believes that clearly knows nothing about women or fractions!

35) When I saw Kate heading up the aisle with her father, I thought “At last she’s seen sense, and got herself a man with looks and money.”

36) Before proposing, William went to ask Kate’s father for her hand in marriage. He said that it was fine by him, providing William took the hand that had spent 25 years fishing into his wallet.

37) I’ve been asked by many how I’m going to cope with my best friend being married and spending all of his time loved up at home. I’m thrilled! I’ll finally be able to talk to women without him cramping my style.

It’s a classic and winning tool in British humour – the self-deprecating joke, where you take the mick out of yourself in order to make the crowd both laugh and also get them on your side straight away. Here are some of the best ways to put yourself down in hilarious fashion.

38) I would like to start by saying what a pleasure it is to be Best Man at Charles and Camilla’s wedding. Charles made me compete for this honour today, but I was able to beat the barman over there in rock-paper-scissors, so here I am!

39) The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that you never get to prove it.

40) I’ve been worried about giving this speech for a while now. Fortunately last night I slept like a baby. Waking up every two hours and bawling my eyes out.

You’ll probably want to end the speech on more of a heartfelt note or with some sort of thanks and advice for the newlyweds, but there’s always time to get a couple of more jokes in at the groom’s expense beforehand…

41) Ryan was telling me that the amazing meal this evening was charged on a cost-per-head basis, so, on the bride and groom’s behalf, I’d like to thank the following people for not coming…

42) I’ve just got some last messages here to read out: one from Greg’s football team to Jacqui: “Apologies we couldn’t all be there today, good luck with Greg, we found him to be useless in most positions, but wishing you all the best for tonight.”

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Hollie Bond

Hollie is a lifestyle journalist with over ten years’ experience working in the wedding industry as Lifestyle Editor for You & Your Wedding magazine Also a Regional Editor for Muddy Stilettos, Hollie has written for Square Meal magazine, Family History Monthly, BBC History magazine and Homes & Antiques. In her spare time you can find Hollie in a dance studio practising ballet…

Learn more about Hollie Bond

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Brother’s Best Man Speech Example

Oh, boy! You’re the groom’s brother, and now he’s asked you to stand up for him at his wedding as his best man. What a tremendous honor! Brothers have an incredible bond, and we know that you are probably pretty stoked to be asked to perform the best man duties.

Planning the bachelor party is what you are looking forward to most, but don’t forget about the best man speech . If the toast has you a little tense and stressed, we’re here to help. We’ve created the ultimate guide on how to write a kick-ass brother of the groom’s best man speech.

We’re sure you’re going to rock this!

THE MEAT & POTATOES OF A GREAT BEST MAN SPEECH

We know that there is a lot of pressure on the best man for preparing a wedding toast that is funny, memorable, and even a little emotional. After all, it is probably the most anticipated speech of the night. Why?

Well, generally speaking, the best man speech tends to include some hilarious outtakes from your time with the groom. And sometimes even some embarrassing moments. So, sure the pressure is on. Luckily with this guide, you will be able to put the anxiety to the side, quell the nerves and write a best man toast that everyone will enjoy.

WHAT SHOULD YOUR BROTHER OF THE GROOM SPEECH INCLUDE?

• A welcome and a thank you to the guests.
• Memorable stories about your relationship.
• A bit about the groom’s exceptional traits and accomplishments
• About meeting the love of his life
• A message to the bride
• Raising your glass to toast the newlyweds

HOW TO WRITE A ROCKSTAR BROTHER OF THE GROOM TOAST

• Be personal; you are the brother, after all.
• Discover a theme (funny, emotional, heartfelt, inspirational, etc.)
• Follow a brother of the groom speech template or outline to keep you organized.
• Write it down! Don’t just wing it, have your speech written on paper or on your phone.
• Practice, practice, practice! Make sure to practice your speech before the wedding day. You can do it in front of a friend for feedback or just in the mirror. You can thank us later.
• Don’t spend too much time taking jabs, although a few are welcomed and sometimes needed to break the ice.
• Don’t wait until the night before to create a rough draft. Come back to it several times to perfect what you want to convey.
• Practice! You’ll be surprised how much nerves and emotions can take over at the moment, but if you’re familiar with your words, you’ll stay on track!

BROTHER OF THE GROOM, BEST MAN SPEECH OUTLINE EXAMPLE

If public speaking is not your forte, we recommend that you follow a brother of the groom speech outline or template. Nerves are a real thing, we know! Having an outline to follow can help you ease into the speech and dismiss any nerves or anxiety.

It’s such a simple public speaking trick, but it really works because it keeps you organized. Here is an example of an easy-to-follow brother of the groom speech outline.

• Introduce yourself and share your relationship with the groom
• Thank other speakers, guests, and vendors
• Congratulate the newlyweds
• Say some favorable words about your brother’s new spouse
• Add in a joke or funny story about the groom
• Read any messages from guests that could not attend
• Propose a toast to the couple

TIPS FOR KNOCKING YOUR BROTHER OF THE GROOM SPEECH OUT OF THE PARK

If you really want to create a memorable brother of the groom speech, we have a few tips. We don’t think you should roast the groom or embarrass him beyond words, but you can definitely have a little fun with your brother of the groom’s best man toast.

• Find a killer opening line – this will set the tone for the toast
• Quote a few famous quotes or a poem
• Stay sober (at least until after your speech)
• Check your tone. No one wants to hear a boring speech. And since yours is the last toast of the night, make sure it is full of energy; it’s upbeat, engaging, and captivating.
• Avoid inside jokes
• Keep it short! The couple and guests will be ready to get the party started, so keep it short.
• Don’t wing it or write it the night before. Put some real thought and preparation into it. Start writing your brother of the groom speech at least two weeks ahead. This will give you time to perfect it, practice it, and get comfortable presenting it.
• Remember to be yourself.
• Don’t try to be a comedian if you aren’t naturally funny.

HIRE A PROFESSIONAL BROTHER OF THE GROOM SPEECH WRITER

Once you get started writing your brother of the groom toast, you may find that you have writer’s block. Or maybe you have plenty that you want to say, but it seems messy, and you’re not sure how to get it to flow seamlessly. If this is where you are, don’t be afraid to hire someone to help. Some freelance writers can help you write a best man speech that you (and the groom) will be proud of. Google it, and we’re sure you will find someone to help.

HOW TO GET A DIG IN ON THE GROOM DURING SPEECH – TACTFULLY

We know most wedding guests expect to hear some funny (or hilarious) dig on the groom during the best man speech. But, please have some heart and make sure you do it tactfully. It is, after all, his wedding day. Here are a few ideas on how to do it.

Won’t Be Winning Any Singing Competition:

“I’d like to tell you that [groom] sings with a lot of feeling. But I can’t lie to you—if he had any feelings, he wouldn’t be singing at all – not even in the shower.”

Culinary Expert He Is Not: 

“We shared an apartment for years during college. When we moved in, we decided that it was his job to cook all of our meals, and my job was to go from room to room removing all the batteries from each smoke alarm.”

Chats A Lot:

“[Groom] has many talents of which I am proud of most. Like his innate and uncanny ability to chat for hours on absolutely any subject —and days if he actually knows something about it. Oh, wait! That’s not one that I’m proud of.”

WHAT NOT TO TALK ABOUT IN YOUR BROTHER OF THE GROOM SPEECH

Just as there are things you “should” include in your brother of the groom speech, there are also things that you should exclude from your toast. If you want your brother to still love you after your speech and your parents to keep you in the will, don’t include any of these things in your brother of the groom’s toast.

• The exes – don’t bring up ANY, and we mean ANY exes
• Nothing negative, especially about marriage
• Inside jokes
• Nothing of a sexual nature

AWESOME EXAMPLES OF BROTHER’S BEST MAN SPEECHES

Staying sentimental.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Nick, I’m Joe’s brother, and I’m honored to be serving as his best man tonight.

Those who don’t know much about me and Joe’s relationship, let me fill you in a bit. I’m the older guy, which means I’ve been around for his entire life. And I’ve had the privilege of watching him grow into the best man I know, aside from our own father.

I like to think that I’ve impacted his life somehow, but really, he’s impacted mine the most. I wanted a little brother so much before he came into my life. I wished, and I wished, and I couldn’t be more thrilled or feel incredibly lucky that God decided to give me Joe. Helping me build my sense of humor and giving me an ego boost along the way, he’s shaped me into becoming a better man myself.

Partners in crime, wingmen, and best friends, I am so happy that he’s chosen to spend his life with Cindy. If I could mold a woman specifically for my brother, it would have been her in every way. You’ve both gotten so lucky.

Let’s all raise our glass to Joe, his beautiful new wife, and the incredible journey they’re about to embark on.”

FUNNY AND UPBEAT

SHORT BROTHER OF THE GROOM SPEECH

“Good evening, everyone; from the moment that [Groom] met [Bride], I knew that this was going to be something special.

The way you two talk to each other, you’re so alike sometimes that honestly, it kind of scares me.

But to quote Mark Twain, ‘To get the full value of joy, you must have someone to divide it with.’ May your love be timeless.”

HEARTFELT BROTHER OF THE GROOM TOAST

“Most of you here know me, but for those that don’t, I am George, the groom’s older brother. I would like to say that I have been an inspiration to how Gregory has lived his life and the man he has become, but honestly, he has been more of an inspiration to me than I have been to him. His zest for life, undying love for family and friends, and his kind and generous heart are things that I, as his older brother, try to emulate.

As I stand here today, watching my baby brother marry the love of his life, Meghan, I cannot help but dream of the triumphs that we are all about to witness between the two of them.

Meghan, I cannot imagine any more perfect woman and wife for Gregory. Your calm and loving ways compliment him, ways I never knew possible. The way you look at him makes me long for that type of love when I finally find a wife (that’ll put up with me). And I know every best man includes this in their speech, but I can honestly say that I have never seen you look more radiant or beautiful than you do today. My wish for you is that the glow you have today is what you feel every day and what my brother sees every morning and night.

May your love continue to grow and blossom as each year and milestone passes. Ladies and gentlemen, please raise your glasses to toast my baby brother and his wife for life. To Gregory & Meghan!”

Best Man Speech for Brother

Ai generator.

Good [evening/afternoon], Everyone!

First and foremost, I would like to thank all of you for being here today to celebrate this special occasion. For those who don’t know me, I’m [Your Name], the proud brother of the groom, [Groom’s Name], and it’s an absolute honor to be his best man today.

Opening Greeting

Good [evening/afternoon], everyone. I want to express my gratitude for being here to celebrate this joyous day. I’m [Your Name], [Groom’s Name]’s brother, and I’m thrilled to share a few words on this special occasion.

Reflecting on Childhood Memories

Growing up with [Groom’s Name] has been an incredible journey filled with laughter, adventures, and a fair share of mischief. As brothers, we’ve shared countless memories that have shaped who we are today.

Funny Childhood Memory One of my favorite memories is when we decided to build a treehouse in our backyard. We were so determined, but let’s just say our construction skills were not exactly top-notch. The treehouse ended up being more of a “leaning tower of disaster,” but we had so much fun and learned a lot about teamwork and creativity.

Highlighting Brother’s Qualities

[Groom’s Name] has always been a source of inspiration for me. His kindness, determination, and sense of humor have always stood out. He’s someone who’s not only dedicated to his family and friends but also to making the world a better place.

Hardworking and Determined From his early years, [Groom’s Name] showed incredible dedication in everything he pursued. Whether it was academics, sports, or his career, he always gave his best and never shied away from challenges.

Supportive and Caring [Groom’s Name] is one of the most caring individuals I know. He’s always there to lend a helping hand, offer wise advice, or simply share a laugh. His supportive nature has been a pillar of strength for many, including myself.

Welcoming the Bride

Today, we not only celebrate [Groom’s Name], but we also welcome [Bride’s Name] into our family. From the moment I met [Bride’s Name], I knew she was someone special. Her warmth, kindness, and love for [Groom’s Name] are evident to all who know them.

Perfect Match It’s clear that [Groom’s Name] and [Bride’s Name] complement each other perfectly. They share a love and understanding that is truly inspiring. Seeing them together, it’s evident that they bring out the best in each other.

Offering Wisdom and Well-Wishes

As they embark on this new chapter of their lives, I want to offer a bit of advice and my heartfelt wishes.

Advice Marriage is a journey filled with highs and lows, but it’s also a partnership where you support and uplift each other. Always communicate openly, cherish the little moments, and never forget the love that brought you together.

Well-Wishes May your lives together be filled with joy, laughter, and countless wonderful memories. May you continue to grow and strengthen your bond with each passing day.

So, if you would all please raise your glasses, here’s to [Groom’s Name] and [Bride’s Name]. May your marriage be as wonderful and enduring as the love you share today. Cheers to a lifetime of happiness, love, and adventure!

Thank you all for being here and for celebrating this special day with us.

[Your Name]

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10 Examples of Public speaking

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Best man speech content

Click on the categories below to find material for your best man speech.

Start Here With Opening Lines

• Please-all Icebreaker
• Laddish Icebreaker
• Self Deprecating Icebreaker
• Cocky Icebreaker
• Alternative Icebreaker
• Nervous Best Man
• Icebreaker For A Short Speech
• Heavy Drinker Best Man
• Large Best Man
• Skinny Best Man
• Bald Best Man
• Joint Best Men
• Single Best Man
• Married Best Man
• Groom Was Your Best Man
• Second Time As Best Man
• Best Man Follows Groom
• Best Man First Speaker
• Best Man Sole Speaker
• Conservative Icebreaker
• Sentimental Icebreaker
• Seasonal Icebreaker

Introducing Yourself

• Humorous Introduction
• Edgy Introduction
• Sincere Introduction
• Alternative introduction

Best Man's Relation To Groom

• Groom's Brother
• Childhood Friend
• School Friend
• University/College Friend
• Work Friend
• Recent Friend
• Friends In Teens
• Friends In Twenties
• Sports Team Friend
• Female Best Man
• Groom's Son
• Groom's Father
• Groom's Cousin
• Bride's Brother

Humorous Wedding Observations

• Honour Of Being Best Man
• Best Man Duties
• Preparing The Speech
• Anxious Moments
• Church Service
• Wedding Cost
• Wedding Location
• Bridesmaids
• The Parents
• Wedding Gifts
• Traditional Outfits
• Scottish Dress
• Venues (Golf Club, Castle, etc.)

Wedding day compliments

• Beautiful Bride
• Wonderful Day
• Lovely Bridesmaids
• Welcoming Wedding Guests
• Small Wedding
• Spring Wedding
• Summer Wedding
• Autumn Wedding
• Winter Wedding
• Overseas wedding

Amusing Friendship Reminisces

• Being Great Mates
• How You Met
• First Impressions
• How Long You've Known Groom
• Reaction To Groom Marrying
• Cueing The Stories
• Example Anecdotes

Entertaining Version of Bride & Groom's Romance

• How They Met
• What Gave Their Romance Away
• Transformation Of Groom
• Courtship Incidents
• Meeting The In-laws
• Marriage Proposal
• Bride First Impressions
• Response To Their Nuptials

Humorous Take on Bride & Groom's Relationship

• Poor Bride, Lucky Groom
• Mocking Their Choice
• The Challenge Ahead
• Fictitious Stories
• Relationship Workings
• Why They Are Good Together
• How Groom Perceives Bride
• Their Marital Hopes

Groom Character Assassination

• Cueing Character Assassination
• Introducing Your Subject
• Edgy Put-downs
• Veiled Insults
• Light-hearted Ribbing
• Full-on Abuse

Roasting the Groom

Praising the groom, search site by keyword, groom tribute.

• Setting Up The Tribute
• Meaningful Words
• What A Great Friend Groom Is
• How Groom Inspires You
• Honoured To Be Groom's Friend
• Privileged To Be Best Man
• Delighted For Groom
• Groom Is Great Husband Material
• Pledging Your Support To Groom

Bride Compliments

• Admiration For The Bride
• Recognising Bride's Effort
• Bride's Qualities
• Bride's Bettered The Groom
• Groom's Joy
• Groom's Good Fortune
• Like To Know Bride Better
• Relating Other's Compliments

Newlywed Compliments

• They Are A Great Match
• The Model Couple
• Always Settle Their Differences
• Long Romance
• Whirlwind Romance
• Uni/school Sweethearts
• Office Romance
• Internet Romance
• Older Newlyweds
• Know Bride And Groom Equally

Humorous Closing Lines

• Marriage Observations
• Amusing Advice
• Amusing Presents
• Witty Telegrams
• Honeymoon Planned
• Disco To Follow
• Comical Review Of The Day
• Humour For A Married Best Man
• Humour For A Single Best Man
• Humour For A Divorced Best Man

Sentimental Closing Lines

• Your Belief In Their Matrimony
• Your Continued Place In Their Lives
• Your Own Hopes For Their Marriage
• Your Congratulations & Well Wishes
• Insights On Love And Marriage
• Wise Words For The Newlyweds
• Sum Up The Day
• Words For A Married Best Man
• For The Best Man Honour
• For Inclusion In The Wedding
• To All Contributors
• To Guests For Attending
• To Guests For Their Gifts
• Humorous Toast
• Traditional Toast
• Wedding Wish
• Irish Blessing

Speech Hooks

• Seasonal Lines
• Horoscope Hook

Addressing Delicate Issues

• A Deceased Relative/friend
• Previously Married
• Pregnant Bride
• Wedding Postponed/breakup
• Groom Has Suffered Ill Health
• You're A Long-distance Friend

Lines to avoid

• Awful openers
• Groom's Romantic History

Contingency Lines

• No Or Faulty Microphone
• Lost Speech
• Unexpected Noise
• Bad Weather

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The ultimate best man speech guide

10 minutes you’ll remember forever.

The Best Man Speech is one of the highlights of any wedding, but getting it right is essential, because whilst it’s just 10 minutes or so on the day, the memories of this speech will  last a lifetime . Most Best Men are weighed down by the expectation to be funny, and have no idea where to start, what it should really contain, how to end it, or how to talk about the bride and groom in a meaningful and non-clichéd way. This page is the definitive guide on how to write your best man speech, from the structure, to the jokes, how to handle two men, props, format and quotes…it’s here. All you need is some time, a creative burst and the rest will take care of itself.

Quick Links

Opening lines.

• Being Best Man
• Relationship to Groom

Triumphs and Disasters

Closing lines.

• Joint Best Man

Best Man for Brother

• Girlfriends

How to write a great best man speech

Here is a short video with my thoughts and ideas on writing a great best man speech. I’ve expanded on those ideas below to give as much advice, hints and tips on writing a really great speech. Enjoy!

Many best men race to get that first funny line in there, and usually at the expense of quality. Keep it warm, funny and never edgy.

1. Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, for those who of you I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting yet, my name is Chris and I am officially Paul’s second best man…second best ladies and gentlemen…nobody likes to be second best do they? Well, Paul, looking at his career, he should know better than most…anyway where were we?

2. Good evening ladies and gentlemen before I begin I’d just like to introduce myself: my name is Chris and it is my very great honour and privilege to be the first of Mark’s two Best Man…we had to split it…46 years is quite a long time to cover all in one go! Over the course of the next few minutes I’ll be taking you through Mark’s sporting heroics, dealing with incredible loss and being caned by people dressed as nuns…which in fact had nothing to do with the stag do

3. Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen, over the next few minutes we’ll be talking about the man for whom Scottish Independence now means asking his English wife if he can go to the pub at the weekend. I can’t help but thinking that an English woman telling a Scottish man he can’t go to the pub, would be a new low in this country’s rich cultural history.

4. Over the next few minutes I’ll be taking you on the rollercoaster ride that has been Sean’s life to date, and there are some amazing stories; like the time he was playing A ball with David Cameron in Mexico and his dog ate the Prime Minister’s guinea pig and he had to sell my passport to repair his own nose…actually I’ve known Sean 30 years…I might have muddled a few things up there…

AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT NOT TO DO….

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, before I begin I would just like to take this opportunity to introduce myself to those of you I haven’t yet met. My name is Dave, and this Bob, and together it is our very great pleasure and privilege to be Colin’s best men for today’s celebrations.

At this point I thought I would be nervous at doing Leigh’s speech but I am now looking forward to ripping him a new arse hole in front of all his family and friends and better yet he has to sit there quietly.

This is the most puzzling part because unless you’re a seasoned speech writer, why should you have idea about structure? There are a few ways to tackle this, but the best idea is to keep things simple and form a logical progression from one piece to the next, don’t let the timeline jump around, don’t confuse the audience, and don’t cover topics or people multiple times.

Talk about being the best man

Now you’ve got to get from the introduction into the main part of the speech and this is the bridge, and in many ways the trickiest part of the whole speech, particularly if you’re trying to link everything together. Again, simple is good – don’t make the guests think too hard!

1.Over the next few minutes I will be guiding you though what amounts to one great big cry for help: Paul’s life. The inglorious acting career, the ridiculous hair, owning a ridiculous car, the persistent alcoholic over indulgence and drunken profane outbursts – he was quite simply South West London’s answer to David Hasselhof…just not as successful.

Neil is a special friend and special friends deserve one thing: three stag dos. The weekends of Istanbul, London and Leeds will live long in the memory of not just those who went, but also those who read about us in the national papers. The mass chants of ‘feed the snake! Feed the snake!’ and the enduring company of our new best friend Bianca the stripper are, I have to say, completely unrelated. I would also like to say that for the record Brian accepts and welcomes people from every country around the globe. Almost. AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT NOT TO DO….

Now a wise man once told me the best man speech should last as long as it takes for the groom to make love…So thank you everyone for coming

Firstly, I would just like to say how beautiful the bridesmaids look who have only been out shone by the bride herself, who looks amazing today.

If everyone could be upstanding, and raise a glass, know as some of you may know Kerry wanted to have the wedding a lot earlier than this, so that a certain something could be involved in the wedding, and unfortunately after a long and hard fight that couldn’t happen. I am of course talking about mikes rapidly thinning hairline, you will be sadly missed.

How you know the groom

This comes directly after the bridge and establishes a connection with the audience – they can immediately understand why you’re there, what you mean to the groom and it’s always an opportunity to have some fun with it, especially if you’re a brother!

• My first mistake was going to stay in the shared house in London where he lived. My second was to comment on the hair. As a glass bowl of pot pourri went sailing past my head and smashed behind me giving off a wonderful burst of sandalwood fragrance, I was given enough time to realize that this was a troubled, sensitive character who didn’t take criticism that well. Perfect friend material.
• I first properly met Nick way back in 1994 when we started secondary school together. Little did we know it at the time but it was the start of a beautiful relationship, which, for me, EVENTUALLY proved worth pursuing years later when I was able to borrow all his notes and pass my A Levels. Of course, Nick didn’t need them because he might look quite cool now but he was in fact a complete square at school.  The day when he could read without putting his finger on the word and then count without using his hands, were both real breakthrough moments in his life, only to be capped a few weeks later when he passed his driving test.
• I first met Brent when we attended the University of Texas and pledged a fraternity together. It was here amongst the upside down beer bongs, ritual humiliation and complete lack of sleep that I knew I had met a friend for life. This may sound overly emotional and slightly premature but when you discover your new buddy is packing his dad’s credit card with no limits, who wouldn’t want him as a friend for life? Just for the record Mr. Schakett, I know at times you may have been concerned about the amount of money Brent spent on alcohol and food on that card. You shouldn’t have: the Shot Man Schakett never wasted any of your money on food.

The trick to writing a really entertaining speech is to make the whole thing a story, rather than dragging the audience through endless stories. Recounting anecdotes is really hard to do because they require a lot of detail and all the time you’re getting to the punchline without making them laugh can prove really counterproductive. Of course, this can all pay off if you have a killer punchline, but all too frequently they aren’t that ‘killer’ and require you to have been there.

Instead take out the good bits from the stories and condense them, even embellish slightly into one neat burst of comedy…

1. Now as he embarked on adult life Nick was to learn the hard way just what it is to be a man, and the number one rule is: if you are going to offer to buy the drinks in happy hour, it’s best not to drop the entire lot down yourself as you get back to the table thus meaning you have to go and buy it all again just after happy hour’s finished. Also you should only ever do a runner from a restaurant via the roof if you HAVEN’T actually paid the bill. Leaving Prezzo’s this way one evening after settling up and leaving a good tip, still doesn’t make any sense to anyone.

2. Anyway when Mark wasn’t failing to hit the top spot in the classroom he was also finding it difficult to do that on the sports field as well. However, with a modest talent and even less interest, he did the only sensible thing to do: saved up all his skill and enthusiasm for one split second of genius. Quite how he managed to catch the impossible cricket ball as it left our sports master’s bat, is still completely unknown. But with, uncharacteristic razor sharp reactions and gazelle like agility, he did just that, and won his side the match. Literally seconds after this Mark retired from all forms of competitive sport – at the very top of his game.

3. There weren’t many highlights to being on minimum wage in the frozen section of nobody’s favourite supermarket, in fact if I remember rightly, there was only one. Nick had been asked to use his initiative to dispose of a 2 litre tub of chocolate ice cream – no big deal you might think. Well, Nick decides to take it into the staff toilets and empty it into the loo. Ladies and gentlemen, a big tub of melting chocolate ice cream can make a big impression when poured into a toilet and can only ever give the next person in there the wrong idea. And it did. From then on half the people thought he had dodgy guts the rest thought he ate on the toilet. Both of which, are in fact, true.

These are ripe areas for comedy material, and whilst you can hint at his accomplishments that should really come later in the speech, when it all gets a bit more meaningful. Of course, the disasters aren’t real disasters just areas of his life and social situations he’s got catastrophically wrong…for comedy effect.

It wasn’t all academic and sporting mediocrity though, there have been lots of other things he wasn’t good at too. Forget school discos and trying to speak to girls, Mark had computers eating out of his hand. And it’s easy to see why: with computers you can eventually work out what’s bothering them, they usually only ever break down for legitimate reasons and if you get fed up with them, you can just switch them off. You see, nothing made his heart beat harder or his mind race faster than a computer with a problem. It is a love affair that has endured to this day.

The impact the bride has had on the groom

This should be a fun look at the way the groom as upped his game, changed his wardrobe and started showing an interest in things outside of pubs, football and waking up late.

1. But when he’s not trying to track the dark forces behind his least favourite football club in the world, he also likes to go on holiday. Now going on holiday for Frank is nothing new but the way he goes about it now is very different from the Frank of old. Thanks to his beautiful new wife Emily, Frank now does something called globe trotting which actually involves going to lots of different far flung countries and immersing yourself in their culture, rather than a two hour flight and immersing yourself at the bar.

2. It’s always tricky that first stage of the relationship as you go about discovering whether it’s going to work or not. However, for Sean and Lucinda it was a lot trickier, as soon after he met her and became smitten, he had the romantic task of making her redundant. Sean was taking the old addage “if you love them set them free” to ridiculous conclusions, which resulted in Lucinda losing her job.

3. Cassie, can I just say that you look absolutely beautiful today, I think we can all agree Brent is one lucky guy. I always had a sneaking feeling that Brent was batting way above his average, now I know he is! I have seen over the years just how happy you both are together and I am so thrilled for Brent that he’s met such an amazing woman to share his life with. Also if you could find it in your big, warm heart to allow The Shot Man and that credit card to come out to play, then you would make some grown up, financially independent men, very happy too.

The wedding day really is only about one person, and even though the Best Man Speech should mainly be about the groom, the bride does of course have her part in it as well.

The thing to remember here is, that unless you live in Australia, the best man always goes last, and so the groom will already have extensively talked about how they met. You’re really looking to avoid repetition, so allude generally to how they met, and I’d avoid details…and if they met online and aren’t advertising the fact, then you shouldn’t either.

1. Seriously when Mark met you Emily, everyone could see just how happy that made him. He’s always been a great bloke waiting for the right girl and everyone who knows you both will tell you just what a great couple you are together. Mark I couldn’t be happier for you today, we’ve known each other such a long time and I hope that friendship lasts for many more years to come.

2. Ali, I know you make Neil incredibly happy – you must do, he’s stopped dressing like a middle aged freak. But seriously, you both make a great couple and I know that he’ll already have the next few years planned out on spreadsheets but if you can fit me in I’ll look forward to spending a lot happier times together.

3. The fact that Dave also looked like Kevin Keegan’s love child, also didn’t help his dating days. That was until that fateful night, on the last train from London when he met the lovely Katie and smooth talked her after another mate of ours offered her a complimentary chicken nugget, and the rest is history. In a world, which looks down upon fast food, I think we all need to think again.

4. I can see how incredibly happy you have made my old friend over these last eight years and just how much you have helped to change his life for the better. He’s always been a great guy buy now he has wider horizons and a greater sense of adventure. And I know just how much of a support you’ve been to him through the tough times. I think you are a great couple and I look forward to many more happy times together in the future.

There should really be only one toast in a best man speech and that’s at the very end. Tradition states that best men should reply on behalf of the bridesmaids at the beginning of the speech in response to the bridesmaids toast by the groom – but it’s just confusing and not necessary. A simple but effective toast at the end and you’re done.

All that remains for me is to wish you all a long and happy life together, with all the luck in the world.

Ladies and gentlemen, the bride and groom.

This is where you tie all the strands together, and say what a great friend/brother the groom is, how much he’s been there for you through difficult times, laughed with you through the good times, and always had your back….and if he hasn’t…just lie!

1. John, you have been a good friend to me ever since we first met, and not just in the form of free shots and hosting parties. We’ve had great times going to the games, hanging out and making that journey from college to adult life. I know there will be less time for me in your life as I’ve now been replaced by a small dog called Ben, but you’re catholic, and now you’re married – I can’t see that dog getting a look in for months anyway. However, I will always look forward to the time we spend together especially when for old time’s sake the Shot Man is once again unleashed. Thanks for being trustworthy, loyal and understanding friends and I hope to spend many more times together for many more years to come…maybe also with that doctor wife you promised me Julie.

2. With your laidback, calm and sensitive approach to life Frank, you’re somebody that many people count themselves lucky to have in their lives. Not just because of your willingness and ability to help them out as a friend but because you’re fun and light hearted ways mean you’re always a great guy to be around.

3. I am so happy that you’ve found each other to share your lives with and all that remains for me to say is that I hope you have a great day today and enjoy a long and happy life together.

4. Sam, we’ve known each other for such a long time and been through such a lot together that it’s hard to know where to begin. All I can say is that I couldn’t have wished for a better bloke to share those years with and I hope that there’s going to be plenty more of them to come. Thanks for being a great friend, and thanks for letting me copy your homework.

Other things to consider

From a vast amount of experience you should avoid using props at all costs. It might seem like a great idea to have films, photos, a man in a gimp suit taking the heat off you in a pressurised situation, but it only ever serves to make the day a lot trickier and the speech less effective. As soon as you start holding up pictures or invite people to look at pictures you’ve left on the table they will immediately stop looking at you and start zoning out or talking amongst themselves.

If you give anyone the opportunity to divert their gaze you then have to work really hard to get it back again, and props will only ever make your speech longer and more tedious to endure. They also usually rely heavily on cables, Bluetooth connections, wifi etc etc…or at the very least everyone being able to see what you’re holding up…and they never can. Suddenly you’re getting heckles about not being able to see/hear/understand and it makes the speech the longest 10 minutes of your life.

A great idea if you’ve got funny photographs is to pin them up by the seating plan so that everyone will get to see them and then you can reference those in your speech.

Forget the awful quotes that you normally hear such as ‘it’s not somebody you can live with, it’s somebody you can’t live without, there are some great quotes out there if you look hard enough. Just one for each speech as you don’t want it to become some sort of English Literature GCSE essay.

The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I have received it. - Hubert Humphrey

There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship. - Thomas Aquinas.

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one. - AA Milne.

Think where man’s glory most begins and ends, and say my glory was I had such friends. - WB Yeats.

Quotes can be a really powerful way to end a speech, and it’s worth going that extra mile to find something that very few have used before, so check out sites such as BrainyQuote and GoodReads for an endless supply of great quotes.

You are always going to get a heckler or two so it’s worth thinking in advance how to deal with them so they don’t upset your flow, and even better, give you an opportunity to get some extra laughs. The most simple method is just to pause, wait until they’re done and carry on, but if you can get a bit of mileage out of it, so much the better.

A good way of having some fun is simply to ask if they’re looking for assistance in going to the bathroom, this works particularly well if they happen to be on the slightly older side. If it’s a younger person you can assume some vocal surprise that their carers have let them out for the day, or suggest that whatever medication the system has got them on, they need to cut the dose. Anything along this sort of gentle fun vein, always works a treat…as long as they don’t really have a carer and aren’t on medication.

In my experience best man jokes are probably the least effective addition to any best man speech that wants to be classed as superior. By best man jokes, I am alluding to about 100 or so gags that were written over the years specifically to get a laugh from wedding guests. You can do so much better than these, because they’re old, tired an dpeople have heard them all before and the last thing you want to do is land one of these at the start of your speech to a luke warm ripple of polite laughter.

To identify exactly what I’m talking about I’ve listed some of the most prolific offenders.

It’s an emotional wedding, even the cake is in tiers.

It’s not the first time today I’ve got up form a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand.

If there’s anybody here this afternoon who’s feeling nervous, apprehensive and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead, it’s probably because you have just got married to the groom.

Complete rubbish. You need to work out what it is that’s funny about the groom in an original and engaging way, people will love your creativity and laugh much more!

Burning deep within his sole was a dream, what he wanted more than anything, more than being a cowboy, professional tennis player or A ball star…was to be an office manager in the NHS. What can I say? He’s not dreaming any more ladies and gentlemen.

This is one of the most important factors and it actually depends on quite a few things, so we’ll start off with the very general scenario of 3 speakers at a wedding – Father of the bride, Groom and Best Man. If this is the case and it’s in the UK, then the best man speech should be a stand up to sit down time of no longer than 10 minutes. If this is in America, that will be about 5 minutes maximum. Americans like their speeches shorter and more efficient, and that’s no bad thing.

However, these timings will then change the more speakers that are added to the line up, because what the groom should be doing is making sure the section of speeches doesn’t run into hours of your life you’ll never get back. If there are 4 speakers, aim to be in and out in around 8 minutes, 5 speakers you’re looking at about 6 minutes, and so it goes on.

You have to bear in mind also that as you’ll be the last speaker, apart from Australia where you’re up second, and so the guests are at the limit of their concentration endurance, so if they’ve been sitting through 90 minutes of speeches, and it happens, make it REALLY funny, and REALLY short.

If you are two best men making a joint speech then you should be stood for about 12-13 minutes, and that remains the case the more best men are added to the line up. If you’re a co-best man and you’re making separate speeches, then your speech should be about 7 minutes. The timings in Australia are identical to the UK except that the best man goes after the father of the bride.

Joint best man

Being a joint best man is pretty common these days, and you really need to tackle what you’re going to go about things as early as possible, because trying to coordinate two guys to write and deliver a speech whilst they juggle their own lives can prove next to impossible.

The first thing you have to decide is if you’re going to make a joint speech or separate ones. The best method is to make a joint speech as it means you won’t double up on gags or content, and nobody has that last dreaded speech spot. A great joint best man speech should consist of about 4 chunks of content each and you bounce from one best man to other all the way through the speech.

However, for many reasons making a joint speech might prove impossible. Maybe there’s no time to coordinate it, maybe you don’t like the guy, or maybe there’s a fundamental clash of ideas. In that case make sure your speech is efficient, tight and punchy and comes in at around 7 minutes, and whatever you do, make sure you get on first.

Quite a lot of grooms make their brother the best man, and that does throw up a few problems – the main one being that although you’ve grown up in the same family/house etc. you don’t really know that much about him! When I’m writing speeches, this doesn’t really affect the creative process because I’m looking for a very funny comedic overview of who the groom is, not a granular introspection. If you’re facing this very common problem, then just take everything you know about his character, passion, dislikes, job and even hair colour and get the funnies out of that. It can be done but it really needs thinking about.

Of course, there is some fun to be had with the introduction and you need to allude to that fact how upset you were when your number priority spot was completely usurped by a noisy, ugly ginger baby called Dave. If you’re younger than talk about the time you realised the bigger toddler in the house who kept bashing you over the head every time your mum left the room, was in fact your older brother Steve.

Former Girlfriends

As tempting as it may seem to have a quick chronological run through of the groom’s former loves, this will only ever end in disaster. This comes back to my point that the wedding day is really only about the bride – if you do anything to upset her, then it’s pretty terminal. Mentioning former conquests in any way shape or form is something I completely avoid, you might think it’s all light hearted fun but no bride likes to think of their brand new husband being the love interest of someone else!

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Best Man Speech Examples

The best man speech is usually the most eagerly awaited of all the wedding speeches. Traditionally the best man speech comes last and you’ll want to pack it with jokes, embarrassing stories about the groom and some lovely words for the wedding party. We’ve got a huge selection of real best man speeches to use as examples and loads of ideas and advice articles too!

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