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Common Issues with AVG Login and How to Solve Them
AVG is a popular antivirus software that provides protection against malware, viruses, and other online threats. If you are an AVG user, you may encounter login issues from time to time. This article will discuss some of the common issues with AVG login and how to solve them.
Invalid Login Credentials
One of the most common issues that users face while logging into their AVG account is entering incorrect login credentials. If you have forgotten your password or username, you can easily reset it by clicking on the “Forgot Password” link on the login page. You will receive an email with instructions on how to reset your password or retrieve your username.
If you are still having trouble logging in even after resetting your password, make sure that you are using the correct email address associated with your account. Double-check for typos and ensure that Caps Lock is not turned on while entering your login details.
Another issue that can cause problems while logging into AVG is server-related issues. If there are server problems from AVG’s end, then it may result in users not being able to log in to their accounts.
To check if this is the case, visit the official website of AVG or their social media handles for any updates regarding server outages or maintenance activities. You can also try logging in after some time once the issue has been resolved.
Browser Compatibility Issues
Sometimes, browser compatibility issues may prevent users from logging into their AVG accounts. If you are using an outdated version of a browser or one that isn’t supported by AVG’s website, then it could be causing login problems.
Ensure that you are using a supported browser such as Google Chrome, Mozilla Firefox, Safari or Internet Explorer before attempting to log in again. Clearing cache memory and cookies regularly may also help resolve browser-related issues.
In rare cases, AVG may deactivate user accounts without prior notice. This could be due to a violation of their terms and conditions or if the account has been inactive for an extended period.
If you suspect that your account has been deactivated, contact AVG customer support for further assistance. They will help you reactivate your account by providing you with the necessary steps to follow.
In conclusion, logging in to your AVG account should be straightforward, but sometimes issues can arise. The issues mentioned above are some of the most common reasons why users face login problems. By following the troubleshooting tips outlined in this article, you can resolve any login issues that you may encounter while accessing your AVG account.
This text was generated using a large language model, and select text has been reviewed and moderated for purposes such as readability.
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The Art of Solving Relationship Problems
A six-step process for putting problems to rest..
Posted January 17, 2011 | Reviewed by Jessica Schrader
Kate was annoyed at the amount of money Tom spent on new fishing equipment. She offhandedly mentioned it to him once, decided to drop it, but then spent the weekend snapping at him about all sorts of little things. Tom knew what was upsetting Kate, but rather than saying anything, decided to keep quiet and ride it out.
Sara and Matt are always fighting about the kids. Sara thinks Matt is too easy on them, while Matt thinks Sara acts like a drill sergeant, unable to ever cut them any slack. The kids feel caught in the middle and play one parent against the other.
Problems are bound to arise in any relationship, and each couple finds its own way of handling them. Kate, for example, gets upset about what Tom is doing, but has trouble being direct and clear about what is bothering her. And Tom has learned over the years that if he lays low, he can wait for it to blow over. Because Sara and Matt are unable to get on the same page with parenting , they become polarized, with each overcompensating for the actions of the other, and using their children as a battleground for their own struggles.
Unfortunately, their children are ultimately the losers in their struggle. Other couples are even less open and say they never argue. Instead they silently agree to avoid confrontation and push their problems underground, creating anxiety and stifling intimacy .
Unsettled problems are a major source of stress , stress that can not only undermine your relationship, but your diabetes management as well. Research has shown that successful relationships are not those that necessarily have fewer problems, but those that have found effective means of solving the problems that come up.
Here is a six-step process for tackling and solving those problems in your relationships.
Step 1: Define your problem and solution. Sure, you know you're upset, but what exactly are you upset about? Kate might be mad about the new fishing gear, but is it about spending the money, the fact that Tom didn't talk to her about it ahead of time, or that perhaps it's another reminder that he spends almost every weekend with his friends fishing and that they don't do things together as a couple? Sara realizes that she is upset with Matt always undermining her, but is more worried about the fact that the kids are confused and playing them against each other.
Take time to clearly define what bothers you the most. Figure out how you feel and why. Anger is a common reaction, but try and go one further step and ask yourself what is it that worries you or hurts your feelings. Many psychologists consider anger a reaction to other emotions lying beneath.
Sure, Kate feels angry, but actually she feels hurt that Tom doesn't seem to want to spend more time with her. Sara gets annoyed, her annoyance is masking her worry that the kids are becoming manipulative. To be able to talk about these underlying emotions, rather than your anger, gets to the core of your true feelings, and is easier for the other person to hear and understand.
But problem-solving is more than just an airing of complaints. Next, you need to be clear about what you would like to be different in positive, concrete and specific terms. Suppose Kate realizes that what she really wants is for her and Tom to do more as a couple. Rather than complaining and saying to him that he is spending too much time fishing, or merely saying that she wants to do more with him, she could say instead that she would like him to have more time to do things with him as a couple and wonder whether he would be willing to leave two Saturdays a month for them to do things together. Sara might say that she is afraid that the kids seem confused about what is expected of them, and would like Matt to map out with her a chore list for the kids that they can both agree upon.
Step 2: Plan a time to talk. OK, you've done your prep and are clear on the problem and your solution. Now pick a good time to talk - not when your partner just walks in the door after work, not after you've both have had a couple of cocktails on a Friday night and are tired, not 10-minutes before you have to pick your daughter from soccer—but a time when you both are likely to be calm, relaxed and able to listen. If you are not sure, send your partner an email or write a note suggesting a time and giving a preview of your discussion. ("Matt, I'm worried about how we are handling the kids. Could we sit down on Saturday morning before the kids get up and talk about this?") This gives your partner a heads-up about your concerns and schedules a time that will work for both of you.
Step 3: Talking and listening. OK, take a deep breath. Start by talking about your view of the problem, your worry, your solution—"Tom, I know I seemed upset but the new fishing equipment but I realized that what was bothering me about it was...;" or, "Matt, I'm worried about the kids and think it's important that we both be on the same page." Talk about you, not your partner. Use "I" statements ("I feel like I'm always walking on eggshells when I'm around you," or, "I think that it would be wonderful if you could do more together,") rather than "you" statements ("You never say anything positive, you always seem angry.") Talking about yourself helps keep your partner from feeling attacked or blamed, and getting defensive and angry in return.
Managing a conversation is a bit like driving a car. You want to keep in mind where you are going and stay on the road. You steer the conversation, just as you do when driving, by making subtle adjustments as you go along. If Kate sees that Tom is getting upset she can stop and check it out—"Tom, you're looking upset. Did I just hurt your feelings?"—rather than ignoring his reactions, plowing ahead, and leading them both into an emotional ditch. Do your best to sound calm.
Strong emotions stir defensiveness in the other, and undermine the problem-solving process. If your partner does start to get angry or defensive—"What about you ... Last week you did ..."—get quiet. While you're probably tempted to defend yourself, doing so at this point is like throwing gasoline on fire. Your goal is to put out the emotional fire in the room and you do that by simply listening. If you don't fuel the fire with more words, your partner will eventually calm down.
If, however, it seems that both of you are getting worked up, that emotions are getting too high, if the conversation is beginning to feel like a power struggle with one of you needing to win or get the last word, it's important to stop before the situation gets out of hand. The best way to do this is by saying as calmly as you can that you want to take a break and cool off and that you'd like to try again in a half-hour, an hour, or after dinner.
Be clear it is a time-out and that you want to talk again. Don't just say, I don't want to talk about this anymore, and walk out of the room. This kind of cut-off will only make the other more anxious and angry and escalate the process. When you are both calm, try again. If the conversation quickly heats up again, stop and take another break until both of you are absolutely calm. Control the temperature of the conversation.
If things have gone well and your partner is able to listen to what you have to say, ask for their reactions. Tom may say that he understands how Kate feels and wants to do more as a couple, but quite honestly, he says, he wants to do something more active than the car trips or the going to the movies that they've done in the past. Matt may think that a chore list a good idea, but he is particularly frustrated by the kid's inconsistent bedtimes.
The goal is to hear each other out. Don't worry about over-talking if the talking is sincere and productive. Resist the "Yes, but" response, and instead focus on "Yes, and"—accepting and building on each other's ideas. See each other as on the same team, working together for the relationship. Make sure you understand exactly what the other is saying—"Tom, what exactly would you rather do together?" or, "Matt, what time would you like the kids to go to bed?" Keep it clear, keep it concrete, keep it calm.
Step 4: Decide on a plan. If you are both in agreement about the problem, it's time to agree on a plan of action. Again make it as specific as possible and time-limited, and try to address each of your worries and preferences. Tom agrees to not go fishing next Saturday; Kate agrees to try out Tom's idea of going hiking on a new trail. Sara and Matt agree to map out a short list of chores and bedtimes for each of the kids. They will talk together with the kids next Saturday morning, then try it for a week. Write down the plan just so it is clear to both of you.
A "let's try it" attitude is better than obsessing over the ultimate solution. The willingness to work together is more important than the decisive plan. If at any point in the planning, you feel like your partner is going along with and passively agreeing, check it out—"Are you really OK with this? I can't tell how you're feeling." Don't march ahead until you know the other is on board.
Step 5: Evaluate. Try out your plan and evaluate. Did Tom and Kate both enjoy the hike on Saturday? Were Sara and Matt able to back each other during the week when the kids started to complain about the chores? The evaluation is about honesty and fine-tuning. Kate and Tom did like the hike, but Tom really missed seeing his buddies on Saturday and would rather do it again on a Sunday. The new chores and bedtimes seemed to work OK, but Sara and Matt decide to continue for another week to see how well the kids settle into the routines, and then discuss it again. Again, keep changes clear and concrete.
Finally, try and give each other feedback about the talking process itself: It helped me to have us write out the plan; what did you think? Did you feel like I was giving you a hard time when we first started talking? Again you are both learning a skill. Knowing what worked and what didn't will make your future efforts at problem-solving more effective and comfortable.
Step 6: Say what you like. Researchers have found that if you want to create a positive and supportive environment for your relationships you need to give each other four times more positive comments than negative ones. What this means is that you can never give each other enough compliments and support: Thanks for talking, I appreciate your trying this out, I'm glad we are doing this together. This support helps you from slipping back into old patterns and encourages you to keep up the new ones.
When you first started learning to drive, you probably felt overwhelmed and awkward and went all over the road at first. Learning to steer your conversations will at first feel much the same. Don't get discouraged. With practice, you will get better.
And if, in spite of your best efforts, your conversations get too explosive, if you need help figuring out exactly what it is that is bothering you, or if you feel overwhelmed by the number of problems you're worried about, consider seeking professional help. A couples or individual counselor can provide a safe environment for sorting out problems and discussing difficult topics, and can coach you on specific things to try at home. Your mental health association, your physician, the yellow pages, and online searches can lead you to qualified professionals in your area.
Keep in mind that you really can't make a mistake. If a conversation goes off course, circle back and try it again. Your goal is not to do it right but to do it differently—to plow new emotional ground, to speak as honestly as you can, to be open to compromise. With patience and persistence and pats on your own back, you'll be able to put your relationship problems to rest.
Bob Taibbi, L.C.S.W., has 49 years of clinical experience. He is the author of 13 books and over 300 articles and provides training nationally and internationally.
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How to Solve Relationship Problems
Last Updated: July 28, 2022 Approved
Finding solutions, healthy routines.
This article was co-authored by Trudi Griffin, LPC, MS . Trudi Griffin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Wisconsin specializing in Addictions and Mental Health. She provides therapy to people who struggle with addictions, mental health, and trauma in community health settings and private practice. She received her MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Marquette University in 2011. There are 7 references cited in this article, which can be found at the bottom of the page. wikiHow marks an article as reader-approved once it receives enough positive feedback. In this case, 85% of readers who voted found the article helpful, earning it our reader-approved status. This article has been viewed 400,722 times.
Relationships may develop problems for a variety of reasons, but poor communication is often the reason why some people have a hard time solving these problems. If you are in a relationship that has hit a rough patch, then you may benefit from improving the communication between your partner and yourself. You can also learn how to deal with problems as they arise in order to move past arguments and toward solutions. After things have gotten better, there are things that you can do to ensure that your relationship continues to thrive and grow.
- For example, you could set aside 15 minutes per morning to sit and tell each other about your plans for the day. Or, you could give your partner a call on his or her lunch break to check in and see how your partner’s day is going.
- Scheduling time to talk about relationship problems can be useful as well. By setting a time limit for discussing your problem, you may reduce some of the tension in your relationship and get closer to a solution. For example, you could decide to discuss a specific problem from 7-8pm.
- Keep these conversations as light as possible and avoid discussing anything that might upset your partner during this time. The goal is to get a rapport going again. Of course, if your partner is having a bad day or is feeling stressed about something, listen and be supportive and encouraging.
- Make eye contact with your partner when he or she is talking. Do not look away, look at your phone, or anywhere else when your partner is talking to you. Give your partner your full attention.
- Nod your head and indicate your interest with neutral statements, such as “yes,” “I see,” and “go on.”
- Rephrase what your partner has just said to make sure that you have understood him or her.
- For example, instead of saying, “You never make the bed in the morning,” say, “I would really appreciate it if you could make the bed if you get up after I do.”
- For example, if your partner often loads the dishwasher after dinner and tidies up the kitchen, let him or her know that you value these activities. Say something like, “I just want to say thank you for keeping our kitchen so clean and nice. I appreciate that so much.”
- For example, instead of calling your partner a mean name or insulting him or her in some other way, identify what you want him or her to do.
- For example, you might say something like, “I am sorry for not calling you to tell you that I was going to be late. I will try to be more thoughtful in the future.”
- For example, you may feel that your partner is not helping out around the house as much as he or she should be, and your partner may feel like you are too demanding. Take some time to think about what is bothering you and have your partner do the same.
- For example, you might say, “I have been feeling overwhelmed by the housework and I could use some more help from you.” Your partner might say something like, “I have been feeling overwhelmed as well because of my work schedule and I feel like you don’t appreciate how hard I work.”
- For example, you might say something like, “Okay, I hear what you are saying. I did not realize that you felt that way.”
- Do not get defensive even if your partner responds to you with a defensive claim, such as “You are always nagging me and you never appreciate how hard I work.” Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and move on.
- For example, if your partner has been feeling unappreciated, then you can promise to acknowledge his or her efforts more often. You might also make it a rule that you will not ask you partner to do anything until he or she has had a chance to unwind a bit. Your partner might then promise you that he or she will be more consistent with certain household chores.
- For example, if you promised to take out the garbage every night after dinner, make sure that you do so. Otherwise, your partner may start to feel resentful and begin lapsing on his or her promises as well.
- You don’t need to go far to get away. Try visiting a nearby city for a couple of nights. Go out to a nice dinner, see a play, or visit some museums together.
- For example, you can hold your partner’s hand while watching a movie, give your partner a kiss before you leave for work, or hug your partner before you go to bed each night.
- For example, you might have a girl’s or guy’s night out once per week, take a class by yourself, or join a special interest group on your own.
- For example, you could take a gourmet cooking class together, join a local hiking club, or try to learn a new language together.
- Try to be patient. Solving relationship problems can be a long process, especially if the problems have been going on for a while. Thanks Helpful 3 Not Helpful 0
- Remember to be mature. Jumping to conclusions, screaming at one another, and trying to get revenge is not the way to go. This can lead to more issues in the relationship. Thanks Helpful 2 Not Helpful 0
- You'll need to lower your pride, If you two are having an argument stay calm, Don't let your pride win. This can cause a hard and a worst problem. Try to court again your partner if one of he/she is getting cold in your relationship. Thanks Helpful 3 Not Helpful 0
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- ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/7-relationship-problems-how-solve-them
- ↑ http://www.helpguide.org/articles/relationships/relationship-help.htm
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fixing-families/201101/the-art-solving-relationship-problems
- ↑ https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/fixing-families/201311/common-sense-approach-solving-relationship-problems
- ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/7-relationship-problems-how-solve-them?page=3
- ↑ http://www.webmd.com/sex-relationships/guide/7-relationship-problems-how-solve-them?page=2
- ↑ http://psychcentral.com/lib/how-can-i-improve-intimacy-in-my-marriage/
About This Article
The best way to solve relationship problems is by improving communication. You can start by scheduling time for you and your loved one to just sit down and talk. For example, you could spend a few minutes in the morning to tell each other about your daily plans. When you think you're ready to move onto discussing the relationship, try to have your conversations in a public place to keep things civil. For more relationship advice from our reviewer, like how to maintain your relationship once things improve, keep reading. Did this summary help you? Yes No
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How To Solve Relationship Problems: 5 Secrets From Research
Before we commence with the festivities, I wanted to thank everyone for helping my first book become a Wall Street Journal bestseller. To check it out, click here .
Every relationship has problems. And they lead to arguments — which often don’t go anywhere and just make things worse.
One solution is couples therapy. It’s a very good solution, especially if you want to solve things by getting divorced.
From The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples :
In fact, we asked the people who participated in our research if they were getting therapy, and we discovered that there was a reasonably high correlation between getting therapy and getting a divorce. It was more likely that couples would get a divorce if they had therapy than if they had no therapy. This was especially true for individual therapy, but it was also true of couple therapy.
That’s John Gottman , the data driven cupid of academia. He’s renowned as the relationship expert who can listen to a couple talk for just a few minutes and predict whether they’ll split up with an eerie 90+% degree of accuracy.
For decades he’s brought couples into his lab, studied how they interacted and followed up to see whether that worked. And he’s learned a lot. John’s book is The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples.
All couples have arguments. There is no magic, conflict-free relationship. (Sorry.) So how do you fight right ? That’s what we’re gonna learn. Where should we start?
How about at the beginning? Because as it turns out, beginnings are critical…
Start Discussions Gently
As you may have suspected, starting a conversation with “YOU MORON!” is never a good idea.
Seriously, if you don’t want your partner to get defensive and angry then, quite simply, don’t begin a discussion in a way that would make any person defensive and angry.
Sounds obvious but we all do it. And women do it a lot more than men. (Don’t worry; we’ll get to the mistakes men make soon enough.)
The woman’s role here is usually critical, as in heterosexual relationships (in most Western culture) it is the woman who brings up the issues 80% of the time, according to research by Philip and Carolyn Cowan at Berkeley. Again, the findings suggest that starting with attack is less likely to result in nondefensive or empathic listening.
The critical distinction here is between “complaining” and “criticizing.”
Complaining about a specific problem or behavior is totally okay. (“When you’re late, it makes me feel like I’m not important to you.”) But criticizing is when you present the issue as a defect in your partner. (“You’re just so selfish!”)
Telling someone you don’t like their behavior is appropriate and necessary. Accusing them of being a demonspawn succubus forged from an unholy pact in the darkest pits of the netherworld is, shall we say, less-than-constructive .
Happy couples presented issues as joint problems, and specific to one situation. Unhappy couples, on the other hand, presented issues as if they were symptoms of global defects in the partner’s personality.
But some people will respond, “You don’t understand. They always make this mistake and I’m just trying to fix them.”
Overruled, counselor. You’re still doing it, but with a shinier rationalization. Trying to “fix” your partner means you see them as defective. This is the perspective that couples on their way to Splitsville take.
Partners in unhappy relationships saw it as their responsibility to help their partners become better people. They acted as if they believed that the problem in relationships is that we pair with people who aren’t as perfect as we are. Then it becomes our responsibility to point out to our partners how they can become better human beings. They need us to point out their mistakes. We expect them to be grateful to us for our great wisdom. In miserable relationships our habit of mind is to focus on our own irritability and disappointment, and to explain to our partners how they are responsible for these miserable feelings we have.
Don’t raise issues in a way that could be summed up as “Everything would be wonderful if you just get your act together and do exactly as I tell you because you’re the screw-up and I’m the long-suffering victim here.”
Focus on the problem, not the person. And be gentle. Even if you are right, being self-righteous doesn’t help.
(To learn more about the science of a successful life, check out my bestselling book here .)
Okay, so you’ve got your head on straight about how to approach things. But your head isn’t the only part of you that’s important here. Your body plays a big part…
I know, easier said than done. But this is huge . The ability to stay physically calm during conflict showed the biggest correlation with relationship happiness of anything Gottman tested.
I recall a landmark phone call in my life from Bob asking me if I had ever obtained high correlations (in the .90s), and him reporting that we had obtained such high correlations in our first 3-year follow-up study, using only physiological data in predicting relationship happiness, controlling for initial levels.
Did you notice the wording there? “Physiological.” As in, your body. So suppressing rage, keeping your mouth shut and appearing chill doesn’t qualify as calm.
When things get emotional, your heart starts racing, the cortisol and adrenalin start pumping and this leads to a cascade of negative effects you can’t control. You have trouble listening, empathizing and problem solving. Gottman calls it “diffuse physiological arousal.”
You and I call it “wigging out.”
In the context of relationship conflict, DPA has big psychological effects. It decreases one’s ability to take in information (reducing hearing and peripheral vision and making it difficult to shift attention away from a defensive posture). It can also create increased defensiveness and what we call the “summarizing yourself syndrome,” which is repeating one’s own position in the hope that one’s partner will suddenly “get it” and become loving again. DPA can reduce the ability to be creative in problem solving, it eliminates access to one’s sense of humor and to affection, and it reduces the ability to listen to one’s partner and empathize.
And this is a bigger problem for men. When put in an emotional situation, men get “flooded” more quickly than women. And once physiologically worked up, it takes them longer to return to baseline.
…there were decreases in blood pressure only for women. Noradrenaline is a stress hormone that operates in the brain and is the equivalent of adrenaline in the periphery. Oxytocin, in her study, decreased noradrenaline levels for women, but not for men. Hence, this research would suggest that men are more vulnerable to DPA…
Ever get into a heated argument and realize it’s going nowhere? Once the stress hormones are hitting the bloodstream at firehose speed, Gottman says constructive, empathetic discussion is impossible. So what do you do?
Well, kids aren’t the only ones that can benefit from a time-out. You can’t “insist” that your body relax. So Gottman recommends taking a 20-minute break. And distract yourself during that time. (Bitterly mumbling to yourself for 20 minutes isn’t going to make Round 2 any easier.)
When you’re both calmer, try again.
(To learn the two-word morning ritual that will make you happy all day, click here .)
So maybe you manage to stay all Zen. Great. But now you’re in the thick of the conversation. What should you be saying to make sure it doesn’t go off the rails?
Yeah, sounds obvious. But this isn’t some silly little truism — it’s a powerful insight from real data. You want a ratio of five positive comments for every negative one.
The ratio of positive to negative affect during conflict in stable relationships is 5:1; in couples headed for divorce, it is 0.8:1 or less.
Even in the midst of arguments, the successful couples Gottman studied frequently sprinkled in positive statements like: “Good point”, “Say more about how you feel and what you need”, and “If that’s so important to you let’s find a way to make that happen.”
You want to avoid negative comments that aren’t constructive like: “That is so stupid”, “You’re so selfish” and, “I’d love to hit you with a tire iron and bury you in the crawlspace.”
But don’t forget — the ratio was five to one, not five to zero . Negativity isn’t evil. In fact, a little bit is necessary. Getting angry didn’t cause breakups…
It was escalation of negativity that landed people in divorce court. You yell and then they yell louder and then you yell even louder until the windows are vibrating and the pets are cowering beneath the couch. If this sounds like your fights, may I suggest you don’t get a 30-year mortgage? Because your marriage will likely be over in 6.
It is the escalation of negativity, marked particularly by criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling, that predicts divorce. We found that couples who escalated conflict divorced an average of about 5.6 years after their wedding.
When things get heated, use humor. Calling your partner a joke is not a good idea but making a joke during a fight can help deescalate conflict.
(Positive affect) was the only variable that predicted both couple stability and happiness in our newlywed study. Furthermore, the positive affect was not distributed evenly or randomly during the conflict conversation—rather, it was used precisely—it was in the service of conflict deescalation. Positive affect and deescalation were used in the service of physiological soothing, particularly of the male in heterosexual relationships. That’s why even small amounts of positive affect during conflict predicted positive outcomes in the relationship. Bob Levenson’s lab has also found that humor is effective at reducing physiological arousal.
(To learn 3 secrets from neuroscience that will help you quit bad habits without willpower, click here .)
Maybe you’re doing good so far. But there’s a point when you just want it to end . You can’t handle any more talking or any more feelings. Like you’ve been through thirty days of Guantanamo Bay waterboarding and you’re all I’ll-tell-you-whatever-you-want-to-know-just-make-this-stop .
Yes, men, I’m looking at you…
Don’t deny your partner’s feelings and try to shut them up. Hear them out. That doesn’t mean “just continue nodding until the words finally stop coming out of their face.” It means actually pay attention to and consider what they’re saying.
Guys have a big problem with this one — and it can kill a relationship.
Men’s acceptance of influence from their female partner was critical for well-functioning heterosexual relationships. The inability to accept influence from women was a stable predictor of relationship meltdown.
When women complain, men often emotionally disengage or get defensive and this just escalates things. The point isn’t that you have to fold and give in, you just have to listen and make it clear you’re listening.
This is manifested in one of two patterns of rejecting influence: (1) male emotional disengagement (which eventually becomes mutual emotional disengagement), or (2) male escalation (belligerence, contempt, defensiveness) in response to their wives’ low-intensity negative affect (complaining). The (happily married) men don’t reject influence from their women as often. They tend to say things like “okay,” or “good point,” or “you’re making perfect sense, really,” or “you’re starting to convince me.” This is not compliance; it is lively give and take. To be powerful in a relationship we must be capable of accepting influence on some things our partner wants.
(To learn how to have a happy marriage, click here .)
But what about those arguments you have over and over and over again? Will they ever get resolved?
Actually, uh, no…
Often, Nobody Wins. So Play Nice.
Almost 70% of recurring relationship disagreements never get resolved.
…we learned that only 31% of couples’ major area of continuing disagreement was about a resolvable issue. Much more frequently—69% of the time—it was about an unresolvable perpetual problem.
Unless it’s a true dealbreaker (“You really need to stop sleeping with the UPS guy”), let it go. You have to accept your partner “as-is.”
Nobody is perfect. You’re not perfect. When you get involved with anyone, you’re accepting a set of problems. You just want to make sure you’re with someone whose problems you can handle.
We found that what mattered most was not resolution of these perpetual problems but the affect that occurred around discussion of them. The goal of happily married couples seemed to be establish a “dialogue” around the perpetual problem—one that included shared humor and affection and communicated acceptance of the partner and even amusement.
Discuss the issue, but don’t expect that it’ll ever get resolved to everyone’s complete satisfaction. It’s more about how you discuss it. Be accepting, affectionate and laugh about it.
(To learn how to deal with passive aggressive people, click here .)
Okay, we’ve covered a lot. Time to round it all up and learn the final (and much more pleasant) thing that can help smooth romantic difficulties…
This is how to solve relationship problems:
- Start gently : Complain but don’t criticize. Focus on the problem, not the person.
- Stay calm : When your pulse goes up, happiness goes down.
- Stay positive : “Five To One” isn’t just a song by The Doors; it’s also the key to a happy relationship.
- Accept influence : Really listening to your partner’s needs can make sure I never see a true crime documentary on Dateline NBC about the end of your relationship.
- Often, nobody wins. So play nice : If your attitude is “my way or the highway” then I hope you like traffic jams. As Aristotle never said, “you can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you get what you need.”
So what else should you do in order to make a relationship work and get past problems? It’s not all about arguing the right way…
You need to have fun. Keep making an effort, keep having adventures, keep acting like you did when you first started dating.
In relationships that were happy, people continued courtship and intimacy and nurtured emotional connection, friendship, fun, adventure, and playfulness.
Even in the middle of a fight, it’s important to remember the person in front of you is the person you love. Love isn’t just a noun; it’s also a verb. Love’s not just something you have, it’s something you do.
And if you can continue to do it in the midst of an argument, then you can be happy after it ends.
And isn’t that what we all want? Happily ever after?
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30 Common Relationship Problems and Solutions
Jeannie Sytsma, AMFT, works for Relationship Reality 312 in downtown Chicago. At this highly-respected private practice she works mainly with couples who are experiencing... Read More
Sylvia Smith loves to share insights on how couples can revitalize their love lives in and out of the bedroom. As a writer at Marriage.com, she is a big believer in living... Read more
In This Article
Even the best of relationships run into problems sometimes. You’re both tired from work, or the kids are in trouble at school, or your in-laws are getting on your last nerve…you know how it goes.
Life throws all kinds of challenges at a relationship, from relocation to redundancy to illness. No wonder problems arise in even the strongest relationships.
To keep a relationship running smoothly, it is important to solve marriage problems before they snowball into bigger relationship problems.
When do relationships start to have common relationship problems?
For some, however, that phase of love eventually fades. As time passes and both parties of the relationship make their fair share of mistakes, what was once intoxicating becomes intolerable.
Much of the common relationship issues that couples face are minor and can easily be avoided with mutual effort, understanding and respect. Although bumps along the path of marriage are unavoidable, if you are aware of them beforehand, you will be able to overcome them without leading your relationship to the verge of collapse.
None of us are perfect, nor will we exactly be the same on every level.
Some character flaws, on the other hand, will be natural and acceptable. But if there are behaviors, perhaps a little lie here or an indiscretion there, it’s essential to consider that on a grander scale as the relationship progresses.
Is that an ongoing problem you want to work through continually, or does that constitute a deal-breaker? Something to consider.
10 causes of common relationship issues
What can destroy a relationship ? Many of the problems couples come to me for, seem to stem from issues that either cause or intensify their problems. But once couples learn how to address these two issues, everything else seems to start falling into place also.
Check out these causes of common relationship issues or issues behind relationship problems before understanding ways to solve common relationship problems:
One of the fastest ways to create unhappiness and instability in a relationship is through disappointment. And very few things create disappointment as quickly as unmet expectations.
But, there are typically two common relationship problems with expectations in a relationship:
- unrealistic expectations
- unclear expectations
Oftentimes, couples struggle to meet each other’s expectations because they are simply unrealistic. It’s important to understand that our expectations often derive from other people, past experiences, beliefs, or internal values. But, that doesn’t change the fact that they are sometimes very toxic to our relationship.
Alternatively, couples sometimes struggle to meet each other’s expectations because they simply don’t know what the other one expects from them or in their relationship.
Now, maybe you are pretty certain about what YOU expect from your relationship and your partner, but that doesn’t mean that your partner can read your mind, which means they most likely have no clue what you expect.
If you want to avoid unhappiness in your relationship, it is your responsibility to be very clear about your expectations and share those with your partner.
If in doing so, you come to realize that some of your expectations might be slightly unrealistic, or even impossible to meet, you might want to review where that expectation comes from and what is more important – being unrealistic or being happy.
One of the most common relationship issues that couples face is communication. There is often either a complete absence of communication, constant miscommunication , or very poor communication. The end result is almost always frustration, unhappiness, and unmet needs. Many times the root cause of the communication issue is in “interpretation.”
You misunderstand what the other person is saying and spend too much time and energy arguing a point your partner never intended. It’s a futile exercise. It is, therefore, essential to take the time to fully comprehend what your partner is trying to say.
Also, if you’re the one talking, it’s important to make sure you’re communicating clearly and exactly what you mean so that your partner can understand. You need to recognize the fact that their perspective is not the same as yours.
Their experiences, points of view, and even baggage are not the same as yours. But good communication demands empathy. It’s to see the world through their eyes as much as possible and then treat them the way that you would treat yourself.
3. Unsupportive partner
Another common relationship problem occurs when a partner is unsupportive of goals and interests. When you are in a relationship, you want to treat your partner like they can be whatever they want to be.
You want them to follow their dreams and will do anything you can to help support them along the way – and you expect the same in return!
One of the most common relationship problems couples will admit to are troubles in the relationship with finances. Not having enough money or not knowing how to split your financial burdens , as well as loss of jobs, a lack of money, poor money management, debt, and overspending are all common issues that can put pressure on relationships.
Discuss your finances when your relationship gets serious, and be honest about any debt you may have. Rely on one another if money gets tight and never stop communicating.
5. Cheating and other forms of infidelity
Cheating is a huge issue in relationships today. The internet has made all forms of cheating as simple as downloading an app. Sexting, emotional affairs , porn, sneaking around, and physical relationships with someone other than your romantic partner are all huge issues that damage relationships, sometimes irreversibly.
Infidelity is a hard subject to broach with your romantic partner, but it is in the best interest of your relationship to let your partner know when you are emotionally or physically checking out. You owe it to yourself to give your relationship another shot. Get your issues out in the open either with date nights or regular honest communication or seek couples counseling to help mend your relationship.
6. Not enough time spent alone
Some of the common relationship problems involve not spending enough time alone together. This is especially true for couples who have children. Between work and family obligations, you sometimes feel more like roommates than romantic partners . This is because you have stopped ‘dating’ one another. Such circumstances can make a romantic partner feel unappreciated, unattractive, and emotionally frustrated.
Call up your favorite babysitter and establish a child-free date night once a week with your spouse. This allows you to reconnect as a couple instead of as parents. Go on dates and treat one another like you’re still trying to woo each other.
Boredom is a common problem in long-term relationships. Being with the same person for many years can seem to take the ‘spark’ out of your union. You may also feel you have outgrown one another. Don’t despair or give up.
You can reverse this feeling by looking for new ways to connect with your partner. Look for new things to do together such as travel or take up a hobby. This will help you bond over something fun and exciting.
8. Sexual intimacy
As the years go by and your relationship becomes seasoned, there will likely be a point where your sexual flame will dim. There could be a multitude of reasons as to why you or your partners in sex has dwindled, but no matter what the cause is, this decrease in sexual intimacy tends to cause common relationship issues.
In order to avoid such problems, there are a few important things that you should consider:
- As you spend more and more time with someone, the act of sex becomes predictable. In most cases, the more predictable the sex, the less fun it is to have. Think about your favorite movie for a second. When you first saw it, you were enthralled. You watched it over and over again, enjoying every viewing.
But after 10, 20, or 30 times seeing the same plotline play out, you only pulled it out for special occasions. Your sex life is just like that favorite movie. So, spice things up . Your favorite movie’s plotline is set in stone. The plotline between you and your spouse’s sexual experience can be changed any time you want it to.
Get creative, get ambitious, and understand that it’s not the other person’s fault. It’s just that, although you enjoy having sex, it’s just the same thing over and over again. Try something new today.
- Your expectations for your sex life may be a bit unrealistic. As your sex life loses steam, you likely are replacing more love and appreciation in the void left behind. Instead of harping on the lack of sex you’re having , take a moment and be grateful for the person you get to lay your head down next to.
9. The anger habit
The anger habit soon gets ingrained, and before you know it, you’re spending a large chunk of time fighting with your partner.
Think about it – if someone is angry and shouting at you, how likely are you to listen carefully and look for a solution?
Most people, understandably, react to anger with either anger or fear.
10. Not consulting each other
Let your partner know that they are a priority to you by consulting them before you make decisions.
Big decisions like whether to take a new job or move to a new city are obvious life choices that should be discussed with your spouse.
But don’t forget to include them in smaller decisions such as who picks up the kids tonight, making plans with friends for the weekend, or whether you eat dinner together or grab something for yourself.
10 signs of relationship problems that hurt the most
All relationships have their highs and lows, even the happiest of ones. There is no escaping them, and if not dealt with accurately, they can lead your relationships towards absolute chaos and destruction.
Here are 10 signs your relationship is having problems:
- You both spend less amount of time together
- There is minimal communication
- You both are critical of each other
- One partner indicates that the relationship is not going well
- Differences of opinions are criticized than worked upon
- You both are always defensive in front of each other
- You both have stopped discussing long-term plans
- You set other priorities over your relationship
- Maintaining the relationship feels like a duty
- You are happier when they are not around and vice versa
30 relationship problems and solutions
Now, how to solve relationship issues?
Common relationship issues are not hard to solve; all you need for that is a strong will to work on your relationship issues, and love , of course.
Here are some common marriage problems and the solutions for how to resolve your relationship problems that you should know about.
When wondering about how to solve relationship problems, it can be useful to read first and then bring the conversation up about how to handle relationship problems with your partner.
1. Lack of trust
Lack of trust is a major problem in any relationship.
Lack of trust isn’t always related to infidelity – it can rear its head any time. If you find yourself constantly doubting your partner or wondering if they’re truthful with you, it’s time to tackle your trust issues together .
Relationship problems will keep mushrooming when there is a dearth of trust in a relationship.
Be consistent and trustworthy. Each of you should make an effort to be where you say you’re going to be and do what you say you’re going to do. This is one of the best solutions to marriage problems.
Call when you say you’ll call. Never lie to your partner. Showing empathy and respect for your partner’s feelings also helps to build trust.
When life gets too much, you get overwhelmed. Maybe you’re in the midst of going after a promotion at work. Maybe they’re dealing with a troubled teenage son or daughter.
Whatever the reason, your relationship soon takes a back seat. Then relationship problems keep building up.
Talk to each other about what’s happening, and about what kind of support each of you needs . Lean on each other instead of getting so caught up in other issues that they drive a wedge between you.
Figure out together a time that will be just for you two.
3. Poor communication
Poor communication leads to misunderstandings, fights, and frustration. It also leads to one or both of you feeling unheard and invalidated and can quickly build into resentment and other common relationship issues.
Communication is a skill like any other, and learning it can make all the difference to your relationship. Learn how to listen without judging or interrupting, and how to get your point across without attacking.
Communicate with each other as friends, not combatants. Figure out what your communication style is and how compatible it is with your partner.
Work your way towards the solution by understanding what communication style would work better for both of you.
4. Not prioritizing each other
It’s so easy to take your partner for granted , especially when you have a lot of things going on. Before you know it, the only time you get together is over a hurried family dinner or while trying to get out the door in the morning.
Make time for each other every single day. No matter how busy you are, carve out fifteen or thirty minutes; that’s just for the two of you to talk and spend quiet time together.
Text regularly throughout the day. Add in a weekly date night to make sure your partner knows they’re your priority.
5. Money stress
Money is a leading cause of stress in relationships . Maybe there’s not enough. Or maybe there is enough, but they spend it while you prefer to save. Perhaps you feel they’re too tight with the purse strings.
Whatever the issue, money can quickly cause problems.
One of the tips to fix old relationship issues regarding finances is to put those good communication skills to work here and have a serious talk about money. Figure out a budget that you both agree on and stick to it.
Work out a financial plan for your future and take steps towards it together. Make crystal clear agreements and keep them.
6. Changing priorities
We all change as we move through life. Maybe you were both ambitious once, but now you’d rather live a quiet life. Perhaps your partner is no longer enthusiastic about your shared dream of buying a house by the sea.
Changing priorities can cause a lot of conflicts.
Look for what you both still have in common while allowing your partner to change and grow. Embrace who they are now instead of pining for the past.
If you have different priorities about major lifestyle issues, l ook for common ground, and compromise that you are both happy with.
7. Chore wars
It’s easy to lose your temper when it feels like you’re the one taking out the trash for the hundredth time in a row, or you get home from overtime to find the house is a tip. Chore wars are a leading cause of conflict in relationships .
Agree together on who is responsible for what, and stick to it—factor in a little flexibility for when one of you is much busier than usual.
If you both have different ideas of what constitutes a neat home, it might be time for a little compromise.
8. Different intimacy needs
Problems with your sex life are stressful and can have a big impact on your relationship. If one of you isn’t happy or you’re finding you have widely different intimacy needs, it’s time for a serious talk.
Carve out time for intimacy. Arrange for someone else to take the kids once a week, or make the most of any time you have alone at home together.
Sex keeps you feeling physically and emotionally close, so make sure you are both happy with your sex life .
9. Lack of appreciation
It doesn’t come as a surprise to you that bad bosses compel good workers to quit ? Up to 75% quit their job not because of the position itself, but because of their boss who never expressed appreciation.
Being taken for granted is one of the fundamental reasons for breakups.
Appreciation is what keeps us motivated and committed, both in our work and our relationships.
Remembering to compliment or notice the things our partner shows, we are grateful and increases the overall satisfaction with the relationship. Saying thank you goes a long way.
Having kids is a blessing, but it requires a lot of dedication and effort. This can cause a strain on the relationship when partners disagree on the way they want to raise children, address problems that occur, and spend family time.
Talk to your partner about why they think something should be done differently and share your reasoning. Often, we are repeating or trying to avoid patterns we were raised by.
Get together and spend some time understanding where the need to do things a certain way is coming from. When you understand, you can change and create a new way to parent that works for your family.
When we find the person, we love we want to share everything with them and to have them do the same. However, this can lead to feelings of losing one’s individuality, feeling of freedom, and a sense of accomplishment.
What does it take for you to be your own person while being their partner? Think of areas that you want to keep to yourself that give you a feeling of achievement and freedom.
It might be a hobby or doing sports. Talk to your partner so they don’t feel rejected by this new change and introduce it gradually.
What each of us defines as infidelity and where we draw the line can differ. Infidelity means various things to different people. Infidelity can encompass, besides the sexual act, flirting, sexting or kissing.
When infidelity has occurred, trust is broken, and a person can feel betrayed. This can snowball into many other issues and problems.
Talking about what infidelity is for you and your partner is important. They may hurt you inadvertently because, for example, they don’t find flirting a problem.
When something has already occurred, there is a choice to be made. A couple can try to regain trust and rebuild or end the relationship . In case the first one is chosen, seeking professional help can be a wise decision.
Figuring out marriage challenges and solutions and learning how to work out relationship problems is much more productive with counseling .
13. Significant differences
When there is a critical difference in core values, the way partners approach life, and challenges, issues are bound to happen.
For example, it might be that they are more spontaneous or hedonistic, while you plan more and save rather than spend. Nonetheless, if your views and expectations from life differ considerably, you are bound to argue.
When there are core dissimilarities between you, you might wonder if you are suited for each other. The answer is – it depends. What kind of change would you both need to undertake for this relationship to survive?
Are you willing you make that change, and how much will it “cost” you? If you decide you can and want to change, by all means, give it a go. This is the only way you will know if the change is enough for this relationship to succeed.
You might be in a happy relationship for a long time before noticing the first signs of jealousy. They might act fine at first but slowly change.
They start asking for your whereabouts, distrusting you, checking up on you, distancing or stifling you, and demonstrating concern about your affection towards them.
Often this behavior is a reflection of previous experiences that were triggered by something that happened in the current relationship.
Both partners need to make an effort. If your partner is jealous, try to be transparent, predictable, honest, and share. Give them time to get to know you and trust you.
However, for this to be solved, they need to make a separate effort to change their anticipations and work out their concerns. There is a difference between privacy and secrecy, and this line needs to be redrawn.
15. Unrealistic expectations
If you are human, you have unrealistic expectations ; no one is free of them. Nowadays, we might expect our partner to play many major roles: the best friend, trusted companion, business partner, lover, etc.
We might expect our partner to know what we want without saying it, advocate fairness at all times, or strive to change the other into what you desire them to be.
This can lead to misunderstandings, repeated quarrels, and misfortune.
If you want to solve a problem, you need to comprehend it first. Ask yourself – what is it that you feel entitled to? If you could wave a magic wand and change things, how would the new, pink reality look like?
What are you doing at the moment that you feel could get you there?
When you grasp what you are expecting to happen, but reality and your partner are depriving you of it, you can start to look for ways to ask differently or ask for different wishes.
16. Growing apart
So many things on the task list, and there is only one of you. How long ago did you stop including things to do with your partner on that list? Drifting apart happens bit by bit, and we don’t notice.
You might wake up one morning and realize you can’t remember the last time you had sex, a date, or a conversation that is more than organizational.
A relationship is like a flower, and it can not blossom without nourishment. When you notice the signs, it is time to act. It will take time to cross the distance that has been created, but it is possible.
Prioritize your time together, bring back old habits and activities you did together, laugh, and take time to reconnect.
17. Lack of support
When life hits us hard, we cope with it the best we know. However, often our coping skills are not enough, and we need support. Lack of support from a partner can lead to feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and feeling overwhelmed.
Long-lasting lack of support also affects the way we value the relationship we are in, and satisfaction drops significantly.
If you don’t ask, the answer is certainly “no.” Talking about what we need and what we can provide can clear the air of unrealistic expectations.
Unspoken and unfulfilled needs lead to negative beliefs about the relationship.
Understanding what our partner can provide helps adjust what we come to them for and look for alternative sources of support while our partner works on becoming one of the main pillars of encouragement and comfort again.
Substance addiction can put a serious strain on a relationship.
Partner’s addiction can cause a significant effect on the family budget, cause many arguments, increase trust issues, cause ignorance and neglect of children and other family members, and impair overall relationship happiness.
Couple problems can be worked out with couples therapy . Counseling can be enormously helpful as it helps both partners deal with the issues arising simultaneously.
Understanding what triggers prompt addiction and building new habits as a couple promotes healthier ways of addressing problems. Individual therapy is recommended as well for both partners.
It can help understand the roots and patterns leading to addiction, and provide support to the non-addicted partner.
19. Moving at different speeds
Do you find yourself in a current relationship uncomfortable with the speed the relationship is progressing?
You might find your new partner moving more rapidly, wanting to spend more time together, constantly calling or texting, wanting to go away together, or you meeting their family?
Alternatively, you could be in a relationship that is not progressing the way you hoped it would, and the milestones you desired are not being reached.
When you and your partner need different speeds and intensities of intimacy and commitment , you may argue.
This can lead to becoming terribly upset over seemingly little things, pulling away, and questioning whether this person is for you.
Don’t sweep things under the rug rather address what is happening. Avoiding problems is not the best relationship solution.
What kind of reassurance or demonstration of love would bring you back on the same level? How are your needs different, and what can each of you do to find the middle ground?
20. Lack of responsibility
When one of the partners avoids taking responsibility, it can cause severe damage to the partnership. Money struggles, child neglect, fighting over chores, or playing the blame game can happen daily.
One of the most detrimental factors to the relationship is a significantly uneven distribution of responsibility amongst partners.
When addressing this issue, the first thing to do is to stop the blaming game. If change is to occur, you need to look forward, not backward. If the change is to be long-lasting, it needs to happen gradually.
Overwhelming a partner to make up for all this time of dodging responsibilities will just prove they were right to steer clear of them.
Give forgiving a shot as it has been linked to relationship success . Also, agree on the pace of change and the first things to share accountability for.
21. Controlling behavior
Controlling behavior happens when one of the partners expects the other to behave in certain ways, even at the expense of the wellbeing of the other partner.
This kind of toxic behavior deprives the other partner’s freedom, confidence, and a sense of self-worth.
Controlling behavior is a learned pattern of behavior from primary family or previous relationships.
At one point in life, this was beneficial for the controlling partner, and they need to learn to express affection differently. Speak up, set boundaries and adhere to them, and, if possible, try couples counseling.
All relationships undergo periods of fun and boredom. However, when the feeling of monotony and apathy color, most of the days, it is time to react.
Allowing to fall into a daily routine and go with the flow can lead to decreased libido and overall satisfaction with the relationship .
Think back to the honeymoon phase and recall the things you did as a newly formed couple. What is available from that list today, and what do you still feel you could enjoy?
Make a conscious decision to add spontaneity into the relationship to start the upward spiral to a more eventful relationship.
23. Outside Influences
All couples are exposed to outside influences and opinions on how things should be done.
Some influences are benign, like grandparents’ occasional babysitting, while others can be detrimental, like disapproval of one spouse by the family or friends of the other.
Your relationship comes first, and everyone else’s opinion is secondary. Show each other support and that you are a united front against the world.
To resist the influence, you can limit the amount of time spent with or personal information you share with the family members or friends trying to impact you.
Marital problems and solutions may appear quite similar on the outside, but no one knows better than you what you need to make it work.
24. Ineffective argument
Arguments are a part of every relationship. However, the way fights are led, and what is their outcome can have a big impact on the relationship.
Disagreement can be helpful or destructive, depending on what you do with them. Having the same fight over and over, losing your temper, or saying things you regret later is bound to make you feel it’s not worth it.
After an argument, you should feel you have made progress in understanding where your partner is coming from.
A good fight is one after which you have agreed on what can be the first step both will take to resolve the issue. Start by listening to hear the other side, not only by waiting for your turn.
Research together ways to fight better and only ever focus on the next step needed to take.
25. Keeping a scoreboard
When you keep blaming and recalling mistakes each of you has made, you are keeping a virtual scoreboard of each other’s faults. If being right is more important than being with the other person, the relationship is doomed.
This leads up to a build-up of guilt, anger, and bitterness and doesn’t solve any problems.
Deal with each problem separately unless they are legitimately connected. Focus on the problem at hand and speak your mind. Don’t let it build up and mention it months later.
Decide if you want to save the relationship and if you do, learn to accept the past as is and start focusing on where to go from here.
26. Life gets in the way
In a relationship, it’s usually the priority to nurture and develop the connection. When life is a persistent inconvenience, it means one or both of you were not necessarily ready to get involved, and that can happen.
Unexpected encounters with another person occur all the time. But when they do, it’s essential to allow it to flourish- placing it first over the chaos.
When the two of you notice you put the union on the back burner, it’s time to make a conscious effort with reprioritizing the other person regardless of your day-to-day situation to battle the new relationship struggles.
27. Trust is critical from the very beginning
Every relationship has problems, but when you first connect, you don’t want to go in with the idea that you can’t trust the other person. If this is baggage from a past relationship , that’s unfair and self-defeating for any new partnership.
If your new partner made a promise and then lied to get out of it, that will create mistrust early on. That’s tough to get back. In an effort to do so, one piece of advice on relationship problems is that there needs to be much transparency and commitment in keeping your word moving forward.
28. You can readjust goals at a moment’s notice
Perhaps in the first few weeks of dating, your life goals appear to be similar, but a profound life circumstance changes your perspective on where you see yourself in the future or maybe your mate’s.
The change is not in keeping with what the two of you discussed. In this situation, you can find a way to get your partner to see things from your point of view, or the partnership won’t be possible.
These are the kinds of issues in relationships that are difficult to overcome. Often differences in life goals are deal-breakers.
29. A kind word here or there
New relationship problems can include a lack of manners in numerous ways. Pleasantries like telling someone they look nice or saying thank you, or expressing how much you appreciate something they’ve done wane after a few dates.
It shouldn’t—unfortunately, comfortability and taking a partner for granted set in quickly. If you notice this early on, say something, but also make sure to lead by example. Be the first to tell your mate these things often.
30. Notice continued bad behaviors with a new relationship
You’ll know you have early relationship problems if your mate is continuously on their phone when you’re together. That’s incredibly rude behavior for anyone when they’re with other people for any reason, let alone being on a date or in the early stages of a partnership .
The focus should be on time spent with each other since free time is precious with the world’s hectic pace. When this happens at the start of a partnership, it won’t get better with time. It needs to be addressed and stopped to strengthen your union ultimately.
Relationships are marathons
Most relationship problems and ways of fixing relationship problems would be something that you must have heard about or experienced; still, when it comes to utilizing this common knowledge, not everyone is thorough with the implementation.
It’s not difficult to answer “how to solve marriage problems,” and there is plenty of advice on relationship issues and solutions.
However, when it comes to solving marriage issues and relationship issues advice, everything boils down to effort and implementation.
These common problems in relationships are not completely avoidable, and every couple runs into some of them at one point.
The good news is, working on relationship problems can produce a considerable difference and get your relationship back on track, free from all relationship difficulties.
Be creative, don’t give up on each other, and you will reach the solution.
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Romantic relationship struggles can be hard. It’s normal to experience a range of emotions, amended this sentence Just remember, it’s normal to feel these emotions sometimes, but they will pass.
There’s no right way to manage conflict in hard relationships, but there are things that you can do to improve your headspace when your relationship is struggling.
Focus on your self-care
It’s surprising how relationship struggles can throw us off balance and make us feel like we’re not coping. Whether your issues are big or small they can have a huge impact.
It’s really important to look after yourself and find stuff to build into your daily life. This can increase our ability to cope with stress and make us better at managing conflict in our relationship.
There are tips for keeping a healthy headspace and awesome strategies for looking after yourself. Remember to make sure you do something that’s focused on your self-care.
Talk to someone you trust
Without regular and positive contact, most of us feel lonely. For some people, loneliness happens every now and then. But for others, it can become our regular enemy. If you’re feeling lonely in a relationship, talk to someone about it.
Sometimes parents aren’t always approving of relationships, but it’s important to consider why. Work at describing your situation in a way that will help them understand your relationship decisions. If your parents don’t agree with your choice of partner, it can be hard to talk to them about your relationship issues. But finding the courage and gradually working towards a healthy conversation is great for your confidence and self-esteem.
Talking to a close friend about your relationship can also help. Friendships change as you get older, so if you don’t talk to your old friends, try forming new friendships. You could join a book club, sporting club or find other activities you enjoy .
Working through your relationship challenges
Relationships can be hard work. If things get tricky, there are a few ways you can work through your relationship struggles.
Each relationship brings its own challenges. Communicating with your partner about why you’re struggling in the relationship could be a great first step to resolving issues. While it may be difficult to start a conversation, you can practise effective communication techniques to get your point across and start a conversation.
One strategy could be to ask your partner a relevant question, listen to their response, then offer your opinion. Once you’ve listened, you can then offer your side of the story.
While being honest with your partner may not be easy, it can help to work out your problems together. Remember that all relationships have their ups and downs, but going through a rough patch doesn’t mean it has to end. Sometimes it can get better – but it takes effort, understanding and trust.
Respect your differences
It’s important to respect your differences in a relationship. You might find that differences in culture, religion or opinion can be the source of difficulties or friction in relationships. Instead of ignoring or blaming the unfamiliar, make an effort to understand it and embrace it.
Take a break
Don’t be afraid to spend some time apart too. Taking a break in your relationship may help you both think about what you want, who you want to be with, and what you can do to make it work.
Consider what’s best for you
When you’ve found someone you love spending time with and doing life with, things can feel great. While it’s normal to experience the ups and downs of a relationship, if you find issues coming up constantly, or if you’re experiencing bigger issues like relationship abuse – this can affect your headspace. Think about whether the positives of your relationship outweigh the negatives. If you’re often feeling sad, hurt or angry, it may be worth ending the relationship . Doing this may even come with some unexpected positives.
Relationship troubles can sometimes leave you with feelings of low mood and self-worth. Seeing a mental health professional can also help you focus on you and what you need, by tackling negative thoughts and talking through your relationship problems.
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How to Rescue a Damaged Relationship
Many relationships lose their spark over time, but it isn’t always a sign that things are broken beyond repair. What might feel like a dying relationship can often be saved or restored with a mutual commitment to making things work.
You’ve heard it a million times, but it bears repeating: even the strongest relationships face challenges.
Building a happy, healthy partnership takes work and may not always be easy, especially when there’s been a breach of trust.
“Issues are a part of life and a part of being in a relationship,” says clinical psychologist Stone Kraushaar . “And the goal is to not fixate on the past, but work to create together in a meaningful way.”
So, you do you go about that? Here are some tips to get you started, whether you’re dealing with the fallout from a betrayal or trying to keep a long-distance relationship going.
When there’s been a breach of trust
Anytime trust is broken, there’s going to be a rift in the relationship. It might be painful to face , but leaving these issues unaddressed won’t help anyone in the long run.
Take full responsibility if you’re at fault
If there has been infidelity or trust has been broken, it’s important to take full responsibility for what happened and be understanding of how your behavior hurt your partner.
Avoid becoming defensive or sidestepping your mistake, but don’t fall into self-loathing either. “You should own it in a loving way that creates the space to start to rebuild trust,” says Kraushaar.
Extend compassion and care to the person you hurt
If you’ve hurt your partner, it’s easy to fall into a spiral of shame and disappointment in yourself. But that’s not going to help either of you.
Rather than spend all your time beating yourself up over what you did wrong, try shifting that energy toward showing care and compassion to your partner.
Give your partner the opportunity to win your trust back
While you have every right to feel hurt and angry, there should be a desire to work on the relationship.
“Trust can never be restored until the person whose trust was broken allows their partner a chance to earn it back,” Kraushaar affirms.
Practice radical transparency
Instead of bottling up emotions , Kraushaar encourages people to be “radically transparent” with each other about what has hurt them. This involves truly getting it all out there, even if you feel a bit silly or self-conscious admitting certain things.
If you’re the one who broke the trust, this also involves being radically transparent with yourself about what motivated you to do so. Was it simply a lapse in judgement? Or was it an attempt to sabotage a situation you didn’t know how to get out of?
Consult with a professional
Broken trust can take a toll on everyone in the relationship.
If there’s been a significant breach, consider working together with a qualified therapist who specializes in relationships and can provide guidance for healing.
When you’re in a long-distance relationship
Being physically apart more often than not can be rough on a relationship. Keeping the romance alive takes extra effort on everyone’s part.
Have a discussion with your partner about your exclusiveness and commitment to each other. What does this look like for each of you? What are you comfortable and uncomfortable with?
Being honest and upfront about your expectations from the beginning can prevent things from going wrong down the road.
Have regularly scheduled visits
“It’s so important that couples know and have scheduled visits and can look forward to those times and plan to make them special,” notes Kraushaar.
In fact, research has shown that long-distance relationships where partners have a reunion planned are less stressful and more satisfying.
Set aside time for online dates
If you’re not able to organize scheduled time together due to significant distance or finances, Kraushaar recommends setting up regular online dates with a theme or specific focus.
Don’t just go for your usual conversation topics . Cook a meal together, watch a movie while you keep the video chat open, play a virtual game, or even read a short story aloud, taking turns.
Don’t let your world revolve around your partner
While it’s important to pay attention to fostering closeness in a long-distance relationship, that aspect shouldn’t consume you.
No matter how much you miss them, don’t forget about other important areas of your life.
Keep up with your hobbies and interests — a happy and healthy relationship involves each partner being their own person.
When you live together
No matter how you dice it, going through a rough patch when you live together is stressful.
Plan a regular ‘check in’
Kraushaar recommends setting up a specific time each week or so that allows you to talk about more difficult topics, such as money, sex , and trust so that these don’t bleed over into all of your interactions.
Learn to compromise
All relationships require give and take. When you’re living in close quarters, being accommodating of their needs and preferences without sacrificing your own can help foster more happiness and fulfillment.
Consider working out some kind of temporary agreement that allows each of you to unwind at home alone.
For example, maybe you stay a little later the gym on Tuesdays and Thursdays, while they hang out with a friend on Mondays and Wednesdays.
Spend time with friends outside of your relationship
Spending time with friends can have a powerful effect on your personal mental health and can help strengthen your personal identity.
Remember, staying connected to your partner means having a life outside of your relationship.
Engage in affectionate physical contact
Kraushaar encourages partners to regularly hug each other in a fully present and connected way. Holding hands or hugging releases oxytocin which can reduce stress and boost your mood.
If you’re not on great terms right now, this might be easier said than done. Try starting slow — simply putting your hand on theirs can help to show that you still care.
Don’t be hooked on romance
Deep-level intimacy is about creating a satisfying and meaningful relationship that isn’t always based on romantic expression .
Sure, many people want to be swept off their feet from time to time, but it’s important to genuinely respect and enjoy your partners for who they are outside of what they can give you.
When you’ve just had a big fight
Picking up the pieces after a big fight can feel like an impossible task. Try these techniques to help you each move forward.
Use skilled communication
Once tempers have calmed down, it’s important to make sure you each have a chance to get your points across. Try to give each person space to communicate their point of view.
“Being open and honest about one’s thoughts and intentions about the relationship itself and the future can restore — or newly create — a sense of safety” in the relationship, says Montreal psychologist and relationship specialist Zofia Czajkowska , PhD.
Speak from your heart
In order for you partner to truly hear you, it’s important to communicate what you’re really feeling below all the tension.
For example, avoid accusatory phrases, such as, “You did this to me!” Instead, aim for something along the lines of, “When X happens I feel Y and I think it would be helpful if you could do Z to reassure me or prevent that from happening in the future.”
If you catch yourself forming a rebuttal in your head as someone is talking to you, you’re not really listening . “You’re getting ready to defend yourself or go to battle,” says Czajkowska.
“Winning” an argument is never truly winning, she adds. “If your partner feels that they lost, it will likely contribute to more distance, tension, and resentment, so in the long run, you lose too.”
Break the pattern
When rebuilding the relationship, Czajkowska advises to consider it a new one , rather than saving an old one.
“Seeing it this way creates an opportunity for defining rules and boundaries from the beginning,” says Czajkowska.
This means striving to understand and work through underlying issues as well as letting go of past resentments you’ve been holding onto.
When you just aren’t feeling it
A lack of passion or case of the “mehs” doesn’t automatically mean your relationship is beyond repair.
Look at the upside of your relationship
Spend a week noticing or writing down all the things your partner does “right.”
People tend to see what they’re looking for. If you’re looking for reasons to be mad or upset with your partner, you’ll probably find them. But this works in reverse, too. Keep your eyes peeled for the good things.
Say ‘thank you’ for the small things
Similarly, don’t just silently observe your partner’s right-doings.
When they do something that’s kind of helpful, even if it’s just tidying up the kitchen after a meal, verbally thank them .
Have fun together
Sometimes, you just fall into a rut. It might sound cliche, but setting aside some time, even just a few hours , to go do something out of the ordinary can make a big difference.
Psychological research shows that partners who play together experience more positive emotions and report greater happiness.
Here are a few ideas to get you started:
- Take a one-time class together.
- Grab a deck of cards or a board game you each used to love and head to the park.
- Scan your local weekly paper for unusual events. Even if you’re not totally sure what the event entails, make a plant to go check it out together, whether it’s a craft fair or a car show.
Maintain intimacy and communication
Establish how to take care of each other emotionally , advises Czajkowska.
What does this actually mean? For starters, commit to giving each other a heads up when it feels like you’re drifting apart.
Sit down together and look at what might be causing that. Have you each been wrapped up in work? Has it been too long since you spent the day just enjoying each other’s company?
“Commitment to working on the relationship is just as important as commitment to the partner,” she emphasizes.
Frequently asked questions
How do you save a broken relationship.
How you save a damaged relationship can depend on the cause of the damage but most strategies involve restoring trust, intimacy, and communication and making a commitment to repairing the relationship. Consulting with a professional, such as a couples therapist, may help provide specific strategies you can try.
Is there a way to save a dying relationship?
You may be able to save a dying relationship if you and your partner commit to rebuilding it. Some strategies to try include active listening, compromise, honesty, and communication. More specific advice can depend on the reasons your relationship is damaged.
How do you bring a relationship back to life?
You can potentially restore a relationship by both partners making a commitment to noticing the things the other does right, having fun together, and finding ways to take care of each other emotionally by building intimacy.
Can you save a relationship after falling out of love?
You may be able to save a relationship by remembering or rediscovering the things you like about your partner, engaging in physical contact if both partners want to, and doing things to have fun and make memories together, like attending a one-time class.
The bottom line
Ultimately, you’ll need to evaluate whether the relationship is worth the work that’s required to save it from a low point.
It’s also wise to make sure everyone involved is committed to saving the relationship. If you’re the only one willing to put in the work, reconciliation probably isn’t likely.
That said, abuse of any kind , whether it’s physical, verbal , or emotional , is a red flag. Keep in mind that signs of toxicity can be quite subtle. Are you walking on eggshells around your partner? Have you lost your confidence or sense of self?
If you have any inkling that you might be experiencing abuse of any kind, consider reaching out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233).
You can also contact the Crisis Text Line by sending a text message to:
- 741741 in the United States
- 686868 in Canada
- 85258 in the United Kingdom
Cindy Lamothe is a freelance journalist based in Guatemala. She writes often about the intersections between health, wellness, and the science of human behavior. She’s written for The Atlantic, New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, Quartz, The Washington Post, and many more. Find her at cindylamothe.com.
Last medically reviewed on October 19, 2023
How we reviewed this article:
- Aron A, et al. (2000). Couples' shared participation in novel and arousing activities and experienced relationship quality. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10707334/
- Benham-Clarke S, et al. (2022). Learning how relationships work: a thematic analysis of young people and relationship professionals’ perspectives on relationships and relationship education. https://bmcpublichealth.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12889-022-14802-5
- Czajkowska Z. (2019). Personal interview.
- Fowers BJ, et al. (2016). Enhancing relationship quality measurement: The development of the Relationship Flourishing Scale. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27918187/
- Gómez-López M, et al. (2019). Well-being and romantic relationships: A systematic eeview in adolescence and emerging adulthood. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6650954/
- Kraushaar S. (2019). Personal interview.
- Maguire KC. (2007). “Will it ever end?”: A (re)examination of uncertainty in college student long-distance relationships. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/01463370701658002
- Murray CE, et al. (2021). The happy, healthy, safe relationships continuum: Conceptualizing a spectrum of relationship quality to guide community-based healthy relationship promotion programming. https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1066480720960416
Our experts continually monitor the health and wellness space, and we update our articles when new information becomes available.
Oct 19, 2023
Medically Reviewed By
Lori Lawrenz, PsyD
Copy Edited By
Jul 21, 2023
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